Sunnymae Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Do guys prefer to chase the girls or for the girls to chase them. Meaning calling the guy first vs the girl contacting the guy. B/c I dated a guy a few times, and I've always been the one to contact him. Should I back off now and see if he contacts me? Is this a turn off to always be the first to initiate contact?
takenawayfrom Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Do guys prefer to chase the girls or for the girls to chase them. Meaning calling the guy first vs the girl contacting the guy. B/c I dated a guy a few times, and I've always been the one to contact him. Should I back off now and see if he contacts me? Is this a turn off to always be the first to initiate contact? Honestly, it really depends, in some ways its nice if she seems really keen to see you, because you know she likes you, and that's attractive and makes you feel good, but also it can lead to a situation where I'm just seeing a girl because its easy, which makes you value her less. If you want to find out if he really likes you then wait and see if he messages you, if he does, he will 100%. But other than that I would just do what feels natural, the way you communicate will carry on into your relationship, if you have to think about this stuff you'll find it hard to be comfortable if you're always second guessing how you communicate with each other. 1
Redhead14 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Do guys prefer to chase the girls or for the girls to chase them. Meaning calling the guy first vs the girl contacting the guy. B/c I dated a guy a few times, and I've always been the one to contact him. Should I back off now and see if he contacts me? Is this a turn off to always be the first to initiate contact? If you are doing all the intiating you can't get a real sense of his interest level. Sure, they may answer/respond, but they are either just being nice or keeping you on a string by showing just enough to keep your interest until they decide they want to see you on their schedule. Sit back and observe a little bit now. If he doesn't reach out on his own in a day or so, let it go. 1
Author Sunnymae Posted July 26, 2016 Author Posted July 26, 2016 Thank you all!! Great advice!! I'm a bit impulsive, but I think the right choice is to gauge his interest, and wait and see, and if not let it go.
phineas Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Did you: Flake on him? Take too long on purpose to respond? Play hard to get Basically play any games at all? If so you'll probably have to chase a little. If he's a man in demand, you will have tomchase a little because he has options. If non of the above applies then he is either really shy, or just not that into you. 1
JoeSmith357-1 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Honestly I prefer neither. I prefer a situation where I am attracted to someone, it's mutual, we bond and go from there. I hate women who play games, and won't do it. So I am less of a "chaser". On the other hand, I don't play games... I make my intentions and feelings known. I don't believe that you "give away your hand" by sharing feelings. I am a low drama kind of dude who will not deal with women who play games. You can play those games and be the 40 year old cat lady spinster 7
Larryville Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 If you are doing all the intiating you can't get a real sense of his interest level. Sit back and observe a little bit now. Honestly, it really depends, in some ways its nice if she seems really keen to see you, because you know she likes you, and that's attractive and makes you feel good, but also it can lead to a situation where I'm just seeing a girl because its easy, which makes you value her less. But will add being blunt, I don’t have a problem with a woman contacting me first but the thing is are you someone I would consider dating? I have women contact me all the time on OLD sites but most of the time they are women I would not even consider spending any time with whatsoever. You have to be honest about your own qualities, looks and match that to who you are contacting. 1
Mario2109 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Do guys prefer to chase the girls or for the girls to chase them. Meaning calling the guy first vs the girl contacting the guy. B/c I dated a guy a few times, and I've always been the one to contact him. Should I back off now and see if he contacts me? Is this a turn off to always be the first to initiate contact? You should definitely back off and see if he contacts you. The exact same thing happened to me with this girl I was dating, she was the one contacting me all the time and I was feeling super good, I was feeling wanted. However, those days that she would not contact me, I would go ahead and contact her with no problem because I already knew she was interested. If the guy really likes you, he will definitely contact you. Now I am the one "chasing" her because I messed up though Good luck 1
SwordofFlame Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 If a woman is interested in me, I would like them to make their intentions known in a not too ambiguous way. Flirting is a good example. Then I can easily take it from there. Just don't act strictly like platonic friends. 1
smackie9 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Both parties should... give and take, reciprocate. 3
salparadise Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Both parties should... give and take, reciprocate. Yep, think in terms of 50/50. I have let more than one woman go for playing coy or otherwise not holding up her end. I have realized that even after the initial stages it just works out better with a fully reciprocal woman. The few times I have chased it didn't work out and I felt kind of foolish. A lot of women think that the only proper way is to make a guy chase, to make it a challenge. I think they're just wrong. 2
bachdude Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 I don't mind at all if the woman initiates. I only mind if she doesn't allow me the same opportunity! 2
biker23 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 I don't mind at all if the woman initiates. I only mind if she doesn't allow me the same opportunity! Agreed. It should be 2 way and easy. 1
smudge21 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Whoever makes the first move to say hi, then they should chase first... but... once it's been done a few times, then the other should return the favour and start showing that same level of interest. That's what it's really all about - showing a similar level of interest so you know the other person is into you as much as you are into them. If you feel you're doing all the work, then either say something and back off, or just back off. How they react will tell you whether it's worth pursuing or not. 1
kolleamm Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 If she chases me, then that would say I'm not very interested in her, so what would be the point. 50/50 1
WhirlwindGuy Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 I think if you are interested, you chase. If you are both chasing, then that means you are both interested. I know the relationships I have been in where I did the majority of the chasing, it turned out they were not that interested to begin with. Either I was a side piece, they had other issues, something...it didn't work out. When they are chasing and I am not, there is typically a reason. I wasn't attracted, no spark, something...it didn't work out. when we are both interested, which has only happened once, it is very obvious and we are both chasing constantly and it is fun and exciting. So I say 50/50 is the best way. Or 100/100 if you will. 2
Recommended Posts