DramaInPajamas Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 How is it that you have been with this guy for 6 months and he hasn't met your son even once? Coincidence or timing? Why would you introduce a child so soon?
hippychick3 Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 How is it that you have been with this guy for 6 months and he hasn't met your son even once? Coincidence or timing? My boyfriend didn't meet my daughter until we were dating a year and a half. Soon after, he met my other 2. I am strongly against introducing children to dating partners until there has been an established committed relationship that is likely going to last long term. 1
Author rj243 Posted July 29, 2016 Author Posted July 29, 2016 How is it that you have been with this guy for 6 months and he hasn't met your son even once? Coincidence or timing? A bit of both. I didn't want to introduce my (now ex) boyfriend to my child too early on because I know my little one would dearly love a dad - he even offered the job to my brother (!) :-) Then it was partly timing too: we only managed to see each other maybe twice a week and in the evening, which still felt like "dating" proper, rather than hanging out. If we'd starting seeing each other more often and being more integrated into each other's lives, then meeting my child would have made a lot of sense. That's where I was hoping we were headed, but it turns out my ex-boyfriend doesn't want to be involved with anyone's kids. Perhaps I hastened that decision by asking him about it (although I thought 6 months was pretty reasonable), or perhaps he'd always known he wasn't up for an instant family. I guess i held off the introductions too, because I didn't get the feeling he was really keen to meet my child (no interest or questions) and it turns out I was right. It's a bit of a bummer, but at least he isn't stringing me along (anymore). 1
DramaInPajamas Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 My boyfriend didn't meet my daughter until we were dating a year and a half. Soon after, he met my other 2. I am strongly against introducing children to dating partners until there has been an established committed relationship that is likely going to last long term. This is exactly right. All those saying he should have met her son by now...why?! 6 months is nothing. You dont know if you are right for each other. Why introduce a child to a new relationship and risk the child being upset when it breaks up.
elaine567 Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 (edited) maybe you should wait until he 'gets back to you on that..' He already did. However, it's academic now; he texted this morning to tell me he's thought about it and doesn't want to be involved with my or anyone else's children, and we've called it quits. I've learned a lot and I'll know better next time. #11 ^^^^^ The OP could have waited a year and half (as some have suggested) before finding that out, and that would have been a serious waste of her time and no doubt she would have been more invested too. I suppose the red flag here was the apparent disinterest in children shown by a man who is dating a woman with a child. Edited July 29, 2016 by elaine567 fixed quote
hippychick3 Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 He already did. ^^^^^ The OP could have waited a year and half (as some have suggested) before finding that out, and that would have been a serious waste of her time and no doubt she would have been more invested too. I suppose the red flag here was the apparent disinterest in children shown by a man who is dating a woman with a child. Given the pace of this relationship, it's unlikely it would have lasted too long. However, more often than not, inappropriate dating partners are more than willing to meet the children too soon so that in and of itself is not an accurate barometer of interest in a long term serious relarionship.
Zippy2000 Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 Sorry, I havent read all the previous posts. Im at work at the moment. When someone says "Let me get back to you". He/she is stalling the relationship. Some may use the line to show not too much insterest. When i was 30 and the woman I was seeing asked if I wanted to meet her daughters. I didnt think it was an issue becuase I liked the woman I was dating and I wanted a future with her. If someone wants to think about it as they say then we have to take it literally. He probably hasnt developed deep enough feelinsg for you, yet. You have to communicate to him what you want. I would have counter offered his reply of getting back to you by asking "When do you think the right time is for you"? If he cant give an answer then I ll think you`ll find when its time to move on.
elaine567 Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 You have to communicate to him what you want. I would have counter offered his reply of getting back to you by asking "When do you think the right time is for you"? If he cant give an answer then I ll think you`ll find when its time to move on. Too late, he already got back to her. #11
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