getting over a break up

[kimberlyadele]

Okay so I was dating my ex for about a year and a half (never any breaks or breakups). We fell in love quickly and both of us were never so happy with our lives. We lost our virginity to each other and that was something very special to us. 8 months in he bought me a promise ring. I am 22 he was 21.

 

To the sad part: We have been fighting some, nothing we couldn't get through we've been through a lot. Mainly because he lost his license and his personality changed. I told him we could make it. Then last Monday he waited for me to get off of work and he took me to the movies and a dinner and it was an amazing night. I didn't get to see him for the rest of the week and Thursday we got in an argument because he couldn't see me because he had dinner plans with his dad. Thursday night he kept ignoring me and around 7:30 he said he was eating with his dad and that he loved me and promised to call me. That never happened.

 

Friday I sent him a thousand texts saying sorry and phonecalls and snapchats. He opened everyone. I didn't hear from him at all Friday then Saturday he sent me a text saying I'm tired of fighting, we're going down different paths, I've signed a field contract to travel with my job. So I know it's cowardly that I'm breaking up with you over a text but this will probably be the last text I ever send you and I know you'll make a great wife to someone else.

 

I was completely blindsided and called him texted him saying we needed to talk about this please see me in person and he hasn't texted back.

 

It's now Tuesday and I had my first break down since Saturday and honestly haven't really eaten a thing since Thursday afternoon. Any tips to coping with this break up. The minute after he broke up with me he took me off of snapchat and changed his facebook profile picture and relationship status. Which was hard.

 

I just need some advice to cope with this. Thank you we have not had any contact since that last breakup text he sent me.

Edited July 26, 2016 by kimberlyadele
grammar

[dezzy1028p]

I'm really sorry you're going through this, but I can promise you that things will get better. It sounds like he is going through a stressful time as well, but it doesn't seem fair to breakup through text. Personally, I would stay away from social media, no matter how tempting it may be because its not healthy to be checking in on snapchat or facebook every now and then. When I went through a break up, I HAD to let my emotions take its cycle which meant a lot of crying, anger, and frustration. But then it's a choice to wakeup and try to make a better day. People told me, "You either get up and just do something other even if its to walk a little outside, rather than sulking locked in your room". And honestly, even just going outside to walk in the park helped because it was a small step to moving on. Sometimes you really need to FORCE yourself to do something else though and force yourself to even smile. Try to get involved into different groups or volunteer stuff, like I volunteered to walk friend's dogs because they make me smile and even animals have kept me occupied. Each day, I promise it will get better. When you go to sleep at night, be thankful that you got through another day and smile about it because you got a day closer to moving on. My other advice is to just be around those who love you and put all your energy into positive things. Also try to eat something, even if it's soup. If you're gonna be out there to talk to new people or hang out with friends, they want to be around a positive and healthy you! Being positive attracts people. And being on LS helped me alot because i knew I wasnt alone and people were there to support me.

[kimberlyadele]

Thank you dezzy! That did make me feel better. I work as a camp counselor so I'm always super busy at work. It's always after work going home that's the hard part and getting ready for work. A guy from my work asked me to hangout and he knows the situation so I could be on to better things!

[feelsobullied]

I can assure you that you will get over it .. I spoke to some other girls as I moved to a new City and it took me a while to meet some but it's something everyone has gone through and survived.. I survived, I am angry because mine was psyco in the break up but that is not my problem nor will I allow his opinion to effect me what so ever. I am going to be a full time student come September and this came after a lot of thought. I went back and forth and thought about it daily before making the decision. I had some family issues and my son had some behavioral problems and we had just moved. I was suffering financially as well and mentally too. I have since improved all aspects of my life. I ride my bike 9 hours a week. I do pilates 3 days a week and am in the gym 3 days a week. I included so much vegetables in my meals without giving up the food I do like which is red meat. I made so much improvement at this point in my life, he couldn't effect my life physically if he tried. Its just memories now but you will survive and get to the point that your ex will not matter to you one bit. I haven't met anyone I "like" yet but I am excited for the time to come and I do have that feeling again. My ex always told me until I improve my English, I wont succeed and will remain a joke so I am taking English because my English needs it not because I need him.

[juniorrocha]

Hey kimberly, I know it's hard, but you gotta force yourself out of this situation.

 

It's been 2 months since I broke up and during the first few days I couldn't eat, sleep or do anything at all. Then I said to myself I would get over this and I've been working on it since then. It feels like a lifetime, but time actually passed faster than I thought it would.

 

A few tips. First, get a nice shower. Then wear something you really like and go outside for anything. A walk, biking, beach, park, shopping... anything. I would recommend doing it on your own, so you can enjoy your own company. If you would like, it helped me to bring my sketchbook and write down a few goals (short and long term ones); that's an important step and you could do it at home too.

 

Now make these goals come true. It doesn't matters what they are. It could be from cleaning your place more often to graduating on something you like. Just find new reasons/motives for your life. You're now single and that door closed, but a brand new one just opened for you. Get in it and discover all that it has for you!

 

As for your personal well being, exercising helps A LOT! Everytime I'm sad and I go to the gym, I get home very happy. Eating healthy also keeps you more motivated to do your stuff.

 

Face it as a challenge. The world took away something from you and now you're supposed to live without it. Show the world you can do it.

 

Take care of yourself, get out of that bed and start slowly to get over. Grieve when you feel the need, cry if you should (just 2 days ago I cried a lot), but don't let it rule your life. I'm sure you can go through it.