RumRunner43 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Ok… I met this cute girl at work about 2 months ago. For me it was love at first sight and I knew I had to have her. We immeadley hit it off together and I ended up driving her home later that evening. I could’nt get her phone number since she has no phone and still doesnt at this current moment. This is forreal too, she literally has no phone, it isnt a Bull**** story/excuse not to give me her #. Anyways we exchange contact info (email) and go on our way. The next time we work together I drive her home as well but this time i get her to go out for a drink with me. We really hit it off together and I at this pint I have completley fallen for this girl. I know I should just go in for the kiss but something she said that evening about "how she likes to take it slow in relationships, etc. etc." had me 2nd guessing myself and my game for the rest of evening so by th nights end i walk her to her doorstep and end the night with a hug and no kiss. Not kissing her right there I beleive is my error and i am still paying for it. I feel like not kissing her has friendzoned me. fastforward and essentially just about week and everytime we work together we repeat the same cycle. We flirt the whole time at work and its just lovely. We are always jokeing, teasing, happy to see each other, everything is great between us. I take her home, sometimes we go out and sometimes i just drop her off. More importantly I ask her out via email and either she doesnt respond at all or i get an email saying something like “i would have loved to go out, but i just got your email late ” This is driving me crazy because when we are together I am getting the message that she is somewhat intrested in me. Maybe she is just friendly? But i don't notice she is like this with most of the guys. Some I am now at the point where there is nothing more in the world I want than just to spend sometime with this girl, and I cant get properly connected to her. The email back and forth is so annyoying but the thing is she knows I want to take her out and she does nothing. She never responds with a" how about tomoorow or later this week/" or anything. Thats what kills me, she knows I want her. So I will lay low and act like it doesnt bother me, dont pay attention to her, stop emailing her and asking her out.... and eventually I'll see her at work again and play it off cool, but then we just flirt the whole time and Im back where I started and fall all over with this girl. I dont think i make known that Im in love with her as obviouis as I am right here, I mean she knows i like her but i dont follow her like a puppy I just flirt and tease her. Like i said it is driving me nuts. I have seen other girls during this time. These girls text me constantly and like me alot but all i think about is this girl who wont go out with me. I got laid the other night, but all think about is this girl. So, I need all of your guys and ladies wisdom. What should I do? I really want her and dont want to give up on something I want. But i also have to keep my pride and not to make an ass out myself. Whats this girl doing me, and does she even know how much she is driving me crazy?
Author RumRunner43 Posted July 26, 2016 Author Posted July 26, 2016 Were both in our mid 20s, shes just kinda broke i guess and cant afford a cell. LOL. Again this isnt a good sign and Im not sure what it is about her, I guess you could say it is very physical for me but I gotta have this girl. I cant stop thinking about her. Its not like this even with more attractive women I have talked to. Theres soemthing that keeps driving me back to her.
winny Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Why dont you directly ask her out for a date at work when you meet her?
winny Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 You scare me when you say I gotta have this girl. Are you only trying to get into her pants? Maybe you have a reputation at work... and she has heard something... so she wants to keep it platonic?
Author RumRunner43 Posted July 26, 2016 Author Posted July 26, 2016 ^yeah, I ussually end up asking her out after our shift is over to do something right there on the spot. But I would like to to take her out ya know, when were not tired and sweaty from work, What your saying makes sense, the only thing is I have asked her out on dates via email several times with little success. I understand it is always better in person but at this point it doesn't look good. But when I am with her I am getting all the good signals she would be interested. I really dont know what to think anymore. Im confused as hell and feel like shes messing with me becuase she can tell i liker her. Shes quite a joker and we pull pranks on each other alot.
Author RumRunner43 Posted July 26, 2016 Author Posted July 26, 2016 I do flirt with alot of girls at work. I havent slept with any of them so far. She knows I activley pursue other women and we will even talk about how sexy another girl is or check at her ass, etc. we have always been playful like that. I honestly would even be fine with being friends although i never gave of that impression I was always clear that i want to take her as a date. I can't get her intrest outside of our work realtionship.
Author RumRunner43 Posted July 26, 2016 Author Posted July 26, 2016 I also should say she invited in one night into her place. I dropped her off after going to the bar and she was scared to be alone at her place. But as soon as I went in with her I could tell she was uncomfortable. Her place is rather small and I could she was a little emabrassed maybe but I did everyhting to make her feel better. She seemed rather stand offish and I didnt get the romantic vibe that she was intrested in sex that night. Maybe Im being clueless here but I think i would know and it didnt seem that way. We had a very nice talk and her roomate came home and I told her I'd see her later.
winny Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 ^yeah, I ussually end up asking her out after our shift is over to do something right there on the spot. But I would like to to take her out ya know, when were not tired and sweaty from work, What your saying makes sense, the only thing is I have asked her out on dates via email several times with little success. I understand it is always better in person but at this point it doesn't look good. But when I am with her I am getting all the good signals she would be interested. I really dont know what to think anymore. Im confused as hell and feel like shes messing with me becuase she can tell i liker her. Shes quite a joker and we pull pranks on each other alot. When you meet her next.. after work... instead of asking her to do something immediately... just say.. hey do you want to go out for a movie on so n so date (whenever you dont work).... see what she has to say.... maximum she will say no... and that will suck... but at least u will know...
winny Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 I also should say she invited in one night into her place. I dropped her off after going to the bar and she was scared to be alone at her place. But as soon as I went in with her I could tell she was uncomfortable. Her place is rather small and I could she was a little emabrassed maybe but I did everyhting to make her feel better. She seemed rather stand offish and I didnt get the romantic vibe that she was intrested in sex that night. Maybe Im being clueless here but I think i would know and it didnt seem that way. We had a very nice talk and her roomate came home and I told her I'd see her later. Well... hmm... maybe she was concerned that you might think she is slutty or something for inviting you over to her place when you have not even kissed.... but if she is spending so much time with you alone.... she definitely likes you.
mrs rubble Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Ok, so she has said she'd have loved to have gone out with you but got your email late, then she has never suggested a further time. Right?? What's stopping you from asking her when you drop her off sometime, instead of emailing? Just pick a day (you want to take her out) and get her to accept or decline on the spot when you're dropping her off. 1
Author RumRunner43 Posted July 26, 2016 Author Posted July 26, 2016 ^Mrs. Rubble, You are right. The only thing is, and I cant stress this enough, I really cant stop thinking of her. So as of now I am not sure the next time i will see her at work since we dont have regular schedule. It could be 2 weeks or longer. In the meantime I want see her now. Like I want ask her tonight to do something tomorrow. But since theres no phone, this would have to be via email. Which I know she gets but sometimes shes late on opeing them since she has to be home. theres where Im at. Im hella impatient and want to see her as I enjoy being around her.
HumanMachine Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 You need to chill. Coming on way too hard and most likely scaring the girl.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 If it's this hard to get a first date, you might want to reconsider. Can you imagine trying to arrange regular dates with her? Since you don't know when you will actually see her again, and since she doesn't have a phone, choose a date to go out and ask her via email, I suppose. It's not ideal but it doesn't look like you will have much choice. Don't ask for tomorrow if you think she isn't likely to see your email in time. Leave a few days between the day you send your message and the proposed date. If she rebuffs that, then you know she's not interested in that way.
smudge21 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 You need to start backing away before you either push her too far or find yourself locked up in the hell that is the friends zone. Just ask her when she's next free for a night out. If she can't give a positive date (which is bs as no one is ever that busy) then simply say "okay, well let me know when you can and we'll sort a date" and then walk away. If she picks a date but then cancels, same response from you. Basically, just stop with the always being there for her. You want to date her, you do loads of nice things for her, but what is she doing for you? As much as you want her, you have to know that she wants you too, otherwise any relationship is doomed from the start if only one party wants the other, and the other just wants out. As hard as it will be to walk, by staying around you are simply telling her "oh it's fine that we never date, I'm happy just to be in your life whenever you need me, like a good friend". Is that what you want? By asking her out, making it clear you want to date her, and then backing and sticking to it, you are sending out that message that friend zone is not a place you're happy with. It'll come down to, if she wants to be with you, she won't let you walk away too far. If not, well at least you know now rather than later on. 1
Popsicle Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 You need to level with and ask her out in person, whenever that is. NOT, I repeat, NOT by email. 1
Author RumRunner43 Posted July 28, 2016 Author Posted July 28, 2016 I appreciate all of your words. I was on this forum last summer going through a terrible breakup and it is amazing where you can be a year later. Of course theres always a new challenge:rolleyes:
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