Great relationship but why has the sex stopped? Should I move out?

[socarro]

Looking for advice - thank you in advance if you read this and can help.

 

My girlfriend and I are from two different countries and met in a third country 2 and a half years ago. During that time we have shared a passionate, loving, honest relationship that easily beats anything I have ever been involved in. Our sex life was always exciting and varied and we both strive to please each other. All good.

 

Recently we moved back to my girlfriend's country and while we settle in finding jobs and a place of our own we have been living in the extension built on the back of her parent's house. My girlfriend says that she feels inhibited by being at home when it comes to sex. I would believe this if it weren't for the following:

 

1. She is quite open about the fact that previous boyfriends have stayed with her at her parent's house (and I bet they weren't playing tiddly winks).

2. Anytime I mention making love she gets defensive and irritable (to the point where I don't bring it up at all)

3. Despite sharing a bed there is very little in the way of intimate contact between us.

4. Surely she is aware (as we have done in the past) that there are less 'bounce-up-and-down-on- the-bed-loudly' ways to please each other sexually that no-one in the house could even guess were going on.

5. The other night we ran into friends and she struggled to introduce me (i.e this is my boyfriend)

 

I guess my feeling is that if she wanted to be intimate with me she would find a way.

 

The thing is that in every other respect she is still the same loving, affectionate person towards me and tells me often that she loves me.

 

I need help - my questions are these:

 

1. Am I just being a loser and should I just accept that she just isn't in the mood and hasn't been for a month?

2. Is she trying to tell me that she isn't interested in me in that way anymore and that we should break up?

3. Should I move out and go back to 'just dating' to see whether the spark returns?

[laRubiaBonita]

i am assuming you are from different cultures?

 

maybe that is the Hurdle at Home.

[socarro]

No - we are from Australia and New Zealand and have very similar backgrounds.

[laRubiaBonita]

well ask her. you stated you have an honest open relationship....Express your confusions, concerns.

[socarro]

I have tried to talk to her but she just doesn't want to know. She acts like I am putting pressure on her but I really don't want that to be the case.

 

We have always been able to talk about anything but this is just one thing she isn't prepared to discuss.

[laRubiaBonita]

Originally posted by socarro

I have tried to talk to her but she just doesn't want to know. She acts like I am putting pressure on her but I really don't want that to be the case.

 

We have always been able to talk about anything but this is just one thing she isn't prepared to discuss.

 

that is a problem.. I would try to convey to her, as best as possible, that you are not happy, content, or even sure of her reaction with ya'll's relationship...............espcally since you have moved over to be with her.

 

if you are gong to be treated like a stranger, she may as well expect that you may not like that.