Jump to content

I went to visit my boyfriends family, sat in the back the whole time.Is this normal?

Bella1945

By Bella1945
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Bella1945 New Member

Bella1945

Posted
Posted

My boyfriend wants me to visit his family with him and they live in British Columbia it will take 2 days and we will be staying for 2 weeks, the same week his sisters and nieces will be there.ive met his mom when she came to visit and she seems to like me alot . But Idk what this means? I dont think this is something that a guy who doesnt see a future with his girl would do. Does this mean he is more invested in this relationship then I am? I know I wouldnt invite him to a trip like that to see family unless we were engaged.i dont know what to think. My parents think he wants to marry me in the near future....i date for marraige and so does he but i dont think hes the one yet.

madjac74 Established Member

madjac74

Posted
Posted

Sometimes guys want to just show off that they have a girl. He also may be trying to expedite the relationship.

SincereOnlineGuy Established Member

SincereOnlineGuy

Posted
Posted
My boyfriend wants me to visit his family with him and they live in British Columbia it will take 2 days and we will be staying for 2 weeks, the same week his sisters and nieces will be there.ive met his mom when she came to visit and she seems to like me alot . But Idk what this means? I dont think this is something that a guy who doesnt see a future with his girl would do. Does this mean he is more invested in this relationship then I am? I know I wouldnt invite him to a trip like that to see family unless we were engaged.i dont know what to think. My parents think he wants to marry me in the near future....i date for marraige and so does he but i dont think hes the one yet.

 

 

If it is one of the many nicer parts of BC, then just go for the travel experience.

 

BC is 135% the size of Texas, so it could be anywhere up there.

blackcat777 Established Member

blackcat777

Posted
Posted

BC is awesome!!!! I would seriously go just to see BC. If you've never been out there, the nature will change your life.

 

Saving up the cash to take my man out there. Oooh. Shannon Falls, Lynn Valley Canyon, the Okanogan... :)

 

Just go and enjoy the experience. You can't go wrong.

mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

I don't know your history with this guy (i.e. how long you've been dating....etc)....but IMHO, don't read into it.

 

Men are simple creatures. This is likely just a trip with his girlfriend. Not an extravagant gesture to show you that there is a future with you. True, it could become more - but let that happen on its own.

 

Go on the trip and enjoy yourself.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted

We can't tell what's in his mind.

 

Some people introduce every person they date to their family and then it sort of becomes a running joke that it doesn't even matter that you know their names because next Thanksgiving/Christmas/Family Reunion there will be a new person anyway. For others, it's more of a big deal.

 

The issue here is, he's your boyfriend. You should always feel confident in discussing the nature and future of your relationship with him. He and you are the only two people who have all the info....it's never a good sign when you cannot have frank conversation with your significant other but have to sit speculating and asking others to speculate for you. Talk to him. If you think hes more invested or don't think he's the one....then you need to either ask to slow down, decline the trip and say you'd rather wait until another time...something...but don't pretend and don't guess about where things are headed. Communicate. Ask. Be open. It will give you a more positive answer than asking for speculation and you both deserve to know the truth about what page you're on.

  • Like 3
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

An ex of mine took me to see his family All. The. Time. I think I probably met about 20+ of them, from the usual parents/siblings/grandparents to aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins twice removed....

 

And then we broke up. We lasted only a year and a half.

 

Don't read too much into it IMO. Go if you want to go, but don't expect anything more than it is - a trip with family. Personally I could never spend 2 whole weeks with someone else's family so early on, but if you want to go there's no harm in it.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

I think you are ahead of yourself.

 

My parents live 10 hours away and I took my boyfriend along for a week trip over there at our 4 month dating. We were official GF-BF but not living together and no talk of marriage.

 

In my world when you have a BF or GF you bring them along that's all.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Bella1945 New Member

Bella1945

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

I went on an 20 hour road trip with my boyfriend and his second older sister (Kelsey) to see their parents and their other sisters. We took her car, tho boyfriend and I wanted to get a rental she insisted.So we did, we all drove, but I don't think she trusted my driving her car so I didn't drive as much as I wanted to.I only got to drive for 2 hours. The whole time I sat in the back... knowing myself, if I was her, and it was my brother and his girlfriend, I would totally let his girl sit in the passengers seat while he drove because i feel its the right thing to do. But she didn't even offer. And my boyfriend didn't even suggest that he wanted me beside him on ocassion.

 

Kelsey didn't really aknowledge that I was there. When we first met up, so we could leave for the road trip, she didnt even say hello back to me. She acted like I wasent their even in the car. I was in the back of the car and they had their convos and i felt so lonely, and while he was driving she literally fed him food, and its not like she helped passed him food so he could feed himself.. she fed him. To me that is weird..maybe im over reacting but i felt weird when she was feeding him..like she was his girl and i was a random in the back. Idk whats normal for brother and sisters, I have only sisters and all my friends who have brothers said it was weird, they said they would pass him the food so he could feed himself or stop so they could all eat. Through the whoke drive they didn't really talk to me...My boyfriend ocassionally would ask if I was ok and would hold my hand for a few mins if he wasent driving. But all this pisses me off. it really makes me reconcider some things.

 

Anyways we stayed with his parents for a week and his whole family is really sweet and they really like me. His oldest and youngest sisters like me a lot too and i bonded with them and his parents way more.a few days later we wanted to go on a date for the day to have a break from everyone and wanted to use Kelseys car. And she litterally flipped out saying she didnt want us to use her car ect ect. Though we paid her for gas and service fees so like 500 bucks. thank god his mom offered to let us use hers..

 

My boyfriend is 26...All I can say is kelsey is 30 years old and really touchy.. she gets mad at anything and treated her mom and sisters 70% of the time like crap she would yell at them and complain and just be plain annoying. Even my bfs mom said to come visit them without kelsey nextime.

 

Should I be concerned that my boyfriend doesn't have a back bone and didn't tell his sis that he wants me in the front with him? Should I seer clear of his sister? Should I find a better guy?

Edited by Bella1945
Edit
RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
Posted

How old are you? As I read this I assumed you were all teenagers, I was very surprised to learn that he is in his mid 20's.

 

Did you were say anything to him? Ever try to communicate your displeasure at all?

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted

Personally, I would not ride in the back seat of my own car, nor would I let my brother's girlfriend drive my car. And frankly, I wouldn't expect her to if I were in your shoes. You should've just read a book, listened to some music, and enjoyed the scenery.

  • Author
Bella1945 New Member

Bella1945

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Personally, I would not ride in the back seat of my own car, nor would I let my brother's girlfriend drive my car. And frankly, I wouldn't expect her to if I were in your shoes. You should've just read a book, listened to some music, and enjoyed the scenery.

 

Yea I get that. I did read a book and do stuff to keep myself occupied of course.

  • Author
Bella1945 New Member

Bella1945

Posted
  • Author
Posted
How old are you? As I read this I assumed you were all teenagers, I was very surprised to learn that he is in his mid 20's.

 

Did you were say anything to him? Ever try to communicate your displeasure at all?

 

 

No we are not teens...Im 24 and my bf is 26 i let him know I understand her wanting to sit in the front because its her car. I sort of get that, but her ignoring me and her feeding him is kind of weird to me. Like a red flag.. its hard to explain cause no one was there but me but ut was strange. I only talked to him about her ignoring and he said that how she is...but idk.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

I don't see anything wrong with you being seated in the back.

 

In every family there is a black sheep and you've met theirs. You're lucky there is just one and everyone else liked you and connected with you. My ex-husband had 7 sisters and all of them were little vipers you would have wanted to slap some politeness into them.

 

As for her feeding him...that is weird. I have 3 brothers, we are all very close and noway I'd feed them. I think that woman is a B* and just looking to hurt and provoke. I suggest you ignore her childish behavior.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

Posted
Posted

IMO where you sit in the car has little bearing on anything, there is only one front passenger seat and there were 2 bodies to fill them.

 

I think you are looking and examining every little detail looking for something negative, stop do that.

 

Every person living and dating has different rules about introductions to family.. ie:.. I am very close to my large family and many times on a first date they might meet some of my family.

 

I never hesitated to take a girl I was dating to a different state for Thanksgiving Dinner.. but that is me, meeting my family just means you know me...

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted (edited)
ll I can say is kelsey is 30 years old and really touchy.. she gets mad at anything and treated her mom and sisters 70% of the time like crap she would yell at them and complain and just be plain annoying. Even my bfs mom said to come visit them without kelsey nextime.

 

So, she's this way with everyone in her family. Don't take it personally. You're making it sound like she singled you out.

 

Should I be concerned that my boyfriend doesn't have a back bone and didn't tell his sis that he wants me in the front with him? Should I seer clear of his sister? Should I find a better guy?

 

I think you're being overly sensitive about riding in the backseat. If it were my car, I wouldn't want to be sitting in the back seat and I'd probably be taking most of the responsibility with driving. It was likely a time to keep the peace than to stand up to his sister being it a family event. You both asked for keys to borrow her car and she flipped, what would have happened if BF "stood up" to her? Sometimes you have to pick your battles. I don't think you should find a "better" guy -- if he treats you well in the relationship, respects and loves you, you shouldn't let his bratty sister get in the way.

Edited by Zahara
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
but I don't think she trusted my driving her car so I didn't drive as much as I wanted to.I only got to drive for 2 hours.

 

That is totally normal.

 

I am surprised she even let you drive 2 hours.

 

If I were on a trip with my brother and his new girlfriend, his new girlfriend would NOT drive my car, especially not on highways. I may let her borrow my car for local errands once there but no, I would not put my security in the hand of a woman I don't know, don't know her driving history.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...