epociutee Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Hello everybody, I am in a long distance relationship. Everything's seem fine except one problem with me. When my soulmate texts me, I have not that feeling when butterflies is in your stomach, but it's opposite - I'm feeling awful. And it doesn't matter what kind of message it is: a romatic, or a message after a little fight. It all doesn't matter. I'm just feeling awful everytime I get a text. Mostly that awfuliness is gona after some time, but it lasts sometimes even for 20 minutes. And, by the way, when I eat and someone texts, my appetite is gone. Literally gone. And everything ends up my spitting out that last bite that was in my mouth... Well that's really not comfortable to feel awful all the time. Anyone could give me any advice?
Gaeta Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Ever heard the story of the man going to his doctor and saying: Doctor my arm hurts when I lift it up. Doctor said: Then stop lifting it. I don't know why you get attacked with anxiety when you get texts, maybe a good way to stop the bad feeling is to just stop using text and tell your boyfriend to give you a phone call. The world was doing just fine before texting! 4
winny Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Hmm maybe you anticipate bad news all the time thats why... 2
Author epociutee Posted July 26, 2016 Author Posted July 26, 2016 Well, I tried to motivate myself and act reaaaally friendly, even my boyfriend was like "is this really you?" XD. I hope that sick feeling will be gone for now. Thanks for your opinion.
joseb Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 How much time were you two together before it became a long distance thing? How often do you see each other? How long will you two be apart?
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Hmm maybe you anticipate bad news all the time thats why... I agree with this. Being in a long distance relationship is hard especially if you're spending many months apart at a time. How long have you been together? Have you any past experience with being texted something painful? 1
Author epociutee Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 A few months went by, I came back here to tell y'all how it is now. That awfulness is almost gone. Something changed between us and maybe I feel more loved . For those who asked we will be 5 months together in a week and we are about 5,670 kilometers (3,515 miles) apart. We haven't met yet. Thank you all for your opinions!
BaileyB Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 If you haven't met yet, you are not really in a relationship. You have no idea who this person is... Don't send this person money. That "awful" feeling that you feel is your intuition saying "this is not a good idea. It's not safe and this is not a healthy relationship." If you want a relationship, find someone to meet in real life who lives closer to you. But, don't fool yourself into thinking that this person is your "soulmate" or that this is a real "relationship." It's not. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 OP, your anxiety is probably stemming from the fact that you don't really know him. Your gut is talking to you. Please listen to it. How is he your soulmate if you have spent zero time together in person? 2
kendahke Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 A few months went by, I came back here to tell y'all how it is now. That awfulness is almost gone. Something changed between us and maybe I feel more loved . For those who asked we will be 5 months together in a week and we are about 5,670 kilometers (3,515 miles) apart. We haven't met yet. Thank you all for your opinions! Why won't you two meet in person? What's the problem? Planes, trains, automobiles/buses...? Have you at least Skyped so that you know that you're talking to the picture that was sent?
heavenonearth Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I truly believe there are rare instances where people meet online and just hit it off and can be right for each other, but the chemistry need to be there in real life to. I don't doubt you won't like each other the same or even more when you meet in real life, but the chemistry is stuff like breath, body odor, just the natural scent of an individual. What if you can't 'smell each other'? From experience, with such long distance things, by the time you meet each other, you'd be so crazy about each other and so happy to finally meet, everything will probably work out just fine. But I still think you should probably meet rather sooner than later, just to not set yourself up for some sort of disappointment, because chances that it's not gonna work out the way you dream of is still there (albeit little, in my opinion).
umirano Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 OP, take it from someone who has been in a few LDRs. If you haven't met you ABSOLUTELY, BY NO MEANS, can't organize your life around your partner. You're building up so many feelings and emotions in your head, for better or worse, but they likely have nothing to do with reality, but with what you want to be true. LDRs can work when they start out locally. But you are living in a fantasy. I mean well, I'm glad you're feeling better than a few months ago. But your gut is a very smart guy. If something doesn't feel right, well, it very very likely isn't. Examine closely how much of your reasoning for being in this relationship is because you want it to be true and good, and how much is because you have real thing that you can put your finger on and honestly say: It's good. There's an LDR section with some of the best posters on LS, check it out.
Author epociutee Posted January 24, 2017 Author Posted January 24, 2017 i'm 100% percent sure, that guy doesn't want to scam me and take my money or something. we talk on the phone sometimes, we text a lot. it's a bit sad how you don't believe in love, love has no age, no religion, no boundaries, no distance, right? it's not hate or something, but it shook me lol.
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 If you're unhappy, why do it? There are other guys.
RecentChange Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 So what's the end game? When are you meeting? When are you moving to his city, or when is he moving to yours? Unless you can be together, get to know the REAL him, the flesh and blood version - then this will just be a waste of time. You will miss opportunities to meet someone that you could actually share your life with, because you are too busy investing in someone you don't even truely know. Look we all put on "masks". I am one version of me at work, another amoung friends, another around aquaintances, and another online. But you know who knows me the best? My husband. Because we live together, we sleep together, we eat together, we have fun, and sorrow together. I see his good and bad, and he sees mine - not just what I feel like texting or talking about on a phone call, he sees all of it. Until you know him in the flesh and blood, you don't know him.
niji Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 it's a bit sad how you don't believe in love, love has no age, no religion, no boundaries, no distance, right? it's not hate or something, but it shook me lol. This made me LOL. When I was young (teens) I didn't believe in love. I was a jaded teenager witnessing so very few so called "love" lasting the distance and time. As I grew up, I finally grew to believe in love, when I learned what love really is. It's about genuinely caring for someone, and a lot of times, about sacrificing and compromises. I've known people who started out online and fell in love which continues to real life; it's been 5+ years. So I believe it could work, but only if you have a PLAN. Since you're probably young, no need to organize your life around it, but it's a good thing to start thinking about... You need to meet. From the distance, it sounds like you're at two ends of a massive country or two different continents (the fact that you use both "miles" and "km" makes me think it's the latter). Regardless, seeing each other will be expensive. In the successful case I was talking about, they moved continents for each other.
Author epociutee Posted January 26, 2017 Author Posted January 26, 2017 If you're unhappy, why do it? There are other guys. i am pretty happy.
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