ballycastle Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Hi I went on a third date on Fri. The man I was with said 'I'm not your Mr Right but your Mr Right now.' This took me aback as I took it to mean, 'Back off getting close, I am not going to commit to you ever, but see you as a **** buddy potential.' He saw my reaction and accused me of 'over thinking' when giving my response of shock/horror at the bluntness of his announcement. My background is that I have not had any luck in dating. He approached me with a group of friends a few weeks ago and we hung out (no sex, only kissing on the last date). WE seemed to hit it off, spent some time together, had a lot of fun. I am a deep thinking individual, hard working single parent with a teenage son, have just completed a novel, am career driven and enjoy the arts/film etc. I work out at the gym am in great shape for 48 and look 20 years younger. This is why I tend to attract younger men (last 3 partners have been between 4 and 18 years younger). But saying that I am classed also as anxious preoccupied and I am sensing that he is already telling me he is avoidant/commitment phobic. Should I take the hint? He told me that 'You are one of the most intelligent people I have ever met.' I do not take that as a compliment merely him stating that I am too much of a challenge to his ego? Any thoughts?? I think telling a woman that on her third date is a huge red flag and I should cut my losses. It makes me quite depressed though as I am thinking of giving up as the anxiety makes me so depressed and rejected I cannot function. I texted him to tell him I had got home and no reply since. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Mr Right/Mr Right now is usually how a woman will look at her man. As either someone she'd like permanently in their life or a gap filler. I find it odd that he'd use language which is usually reserved for your thoughts on the matter. Question is: does he think he can read your mind.....or does he see the relationship as being casual and used unusual language to describe it. That said, it's entirely likely that terminology is used differently where you are and everyone will correct me Link to post Share on other sites
Author ballycastle Posted July 25, 2016 Author Share Posted July 25, 2016 Mr Right/Mr Right now is usually how a woman will look at her man. As either someone she'd like permanently in their life or a gap filler. I find it odd that he'd use language which is usually reserved for your thoughts on the matter. Question is: does he think he can read your mind.....or does he see the relationship as being casual and used unusual language to describe it. That said, it's entirely likely that terminology is used differently where you are and everyone will correct me That's why i can't understand why he would say it particularly as I've been cool in discussing 'relationship talk'. I thought it was telling me to back off. I am/was interested but was so upset at his comments my emotions were clear in my dismay at his judgement of our situation. He also accused me of 'overthinking' things, and to a writer who has to overthink to produce plausible plots is a red rag to a Bull. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 I think he is just telling you that he is looking for a short term casual relationship with you. If you want that then continue seeing him else break it off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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