tinyspark1992 Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 I really need your advice, i'll make this as short as possible. there's this guy who i feel is my #1 crush, so i told him how i felt. he sent me back this vague response, and it's driving me crazy not knowing what he meant. i asked him and he never responded, so it's obvious to me he's not interested, but. what sorts of things can i do to truly get over it? i've always felt like you have no choice in who you love. i feel like my heart is in shackles. so confused and feel like i read into everything. i think he thinks i'm attractive but that's as far as it goes. i'm starting to feel about him the way i felt about my ex boyfriend and i just feel like he's the wrong guy to have these feelings for. with his response i just wish he would have been more blunt as i need the flat out truth thinking maybe that will help me move on. but i don't wanna bother him for a straight out answer cause i think it will make me look a little crazy. i probably think about him more than i should. i would appreciate any books or websites about what to do when you're knee deep in lust with the wrong person. or any and all points of view, thank you so much 1
basil67 Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Start by taking them off the pedestal you have them on. Remember their faults. And most of all, limit the amount of time you interact with them. Lust is fleeting. It goes away if you don't feed it. 4
preraph Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 First, he doesn't owe you anything. You came out with it and he did as little as possible because it made him very uncomfortable, and he shouldn't be forced to be blunt and say "I don't like your body" because you should know that anything short of him asking you out upon hearing you were crushing means "not interested." As Basil said, you have to stop thinking he's someone he's not. You may be projecting that "ideal man" you have in your head onto him and expecting him to fit that script. Well, he's not. No one is that guy. He just proved you are utterly wrong for each other because he is not interested back. Why isn't he interested back? Not your problem to figure out. You know you're who you are and that you are fine. He could prefer one hair color over another or a certain shaped butt or boob over another, or you could remind him of his Auntie Evelyn or look too much like his sister or his mother or have some habit that reminds him of platonic things not sexy things. He could also be totally stunted socially or totally confused mentally and incompetent to be choosing a woman to be interested in. He could and probably does have someone he is interested in and you are not her. To get past it, block him every way possible so you are never reminded of him ever again, face reality that he is NOT the one because he has made that clear. Try to stop falling in love with who you hope a person is and take it slow and get to know someone to see if you can love who they really are. Because you can't change them to suit. Pay attention to the guys who seem to be interested in coming around you instead of focusing and obsessing on one certain guy you don't know. Look up long enough to see the ones who are seeing you and wanting to get to know you. Good luck.
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