brokenburnette Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Hello. This is my first time using one of these so I apologies in advance if I ramble. But here is my story. I dated this guy, long distance for almost two years. We starting having issues a few months in but I was in love. The issue that started it all was that he lied to me, I found out that he could possibly be a father.. I was heart broken when I found out but he assured me that he didn't think it was his. I found out a few days before I was going to spend the summer down where he lived, which happens to be where my family lived. So after not speaking to him a few days, I ended up telling him we'd figure it out when I got down there. I cared that he could be a dad, I didn't want the drama, and I didn't want to take him away from his child. But the way he made his ex sound, she was terrible.. she'd hit him and cheat on him. I wanted to be there for him and his child.. But it was still an issue with me.. I didn't know how'd I'd tell me friends and family... Back to the story. I was down there a few weeks and he ended up getting in a horrible car accident, the day before my birthday.. He was in a coma for over a month, and I was devastated.. I swore to God that if he could make it through, I would take care of him the rest of his life. I prayed every single second of everyday. And I waited until I absolutely had to fly back to go back to school. I ended up meeting his mother and step father in that hospital. His grandma I already met and she was the one who informed me. When he got out of the hospital and I spoke to him every single day for hours and I flew down there as soon as he got out. I was so happy and so grateful. He was able to fly up a few months later, and we flew back in forth all year. But, during that time we had so many issues. I couldn't trust him. He'd lie about stupid things, and big things. I'd find out he spoke to him ex, or she wanted him back. We ended up breaking up almost a year ago. He found out he was the father and he wanted to be the man his step father was. He wanted to try to make it work with his ex and try to have a family.. i'm assuming. He says he was trying to do that but also trying to do the right thing. The reason I am writing here is because he won't let me go and I guess I won't either. I realize the problems in the relationship were both mine and his. He drove me crazy because I couldn't trust him and I drove him crazy with my craziness. I've done well moving on. I am working on myself, setting goals, looking toward the future. The problem is that he contacts me every so often. At first, it was every 2 weeks, then a few months went by, then he'd call me crying. Then another month, and he contact me again, then a couple weeks. I know I should ignore it.. and I try, and I beg him to let me be and to let me move on but he always knows what to say. He tells me he will be different this time and that he will prove it to me, he just needs a chance and then something will happen with his ex and he will say I am turning off my phone for two weeks. I mainly think he calls me and texts me because he is so unhappy and frustrated with his situation that he wants to keep me around to boost his ego and feel good about himself since the mother of his child treats him like ****. I guess I just need some people to tell me to block him and forget him... and maybe some advice on how. I know I deserve better.. a lot better. But he just knows me and knows what to say and somehow he got my loyalty and I'm just struggling every time I see him name or hear his voice. But it seems like a mind game because if he really did care about me, he would stick around and put in the work.. right? thanks for reading.. if you made it this far. I appreciate any words you have to say. Sincerely, Broken Brunette.
Bichunmoo Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Well yes the man is using you for something. Either for his own ego, someone to talk to when his ex treats him badly, or for comfort. Either way. Stop talking to him. Trust me. Plenty of fish in the sea. Cut contact from him completely then eventually it'll fade away. He's with his ex. Let him try work it out with her. He's already stated he doesn't want to be with you so just let him go. The man is using you. Get over it. Plenty of things to look forward to in life.
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