jahall05 Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Long story as short as I can make it: Me and my ex-bf dated for 4 years. Everything was good until he got a job in Pittsburgh and got a taste of the city life and gay scene down there. It seemed as if he got bored with me. He would lie and tell me he was home or sick and I would later on find out he was in Pittsburgh. Then I found him on Grindr using fake profiles to attract him. He assured me it was for masturbation, but I told him it still wasn't right and to delete it. He wouldn't delete it. Fast forward...He tells me he deleted it for me. I said OK great, its been almost a year, but ok. Fast forward a month. I see a photo on his Facebook of him and a guy at his friends wedding. I question him as to who it is...he says a straight guy friend who was there, no big deal. I said OK and moved on. A few days later my gay friend sees it and informs me no he is not straight, he is 100% gay and shows me the guys Facebook. I confront the ex and he responds with a "so what?" and then admits he had been seeing the guy for a month. So I concluded: 1. They were dating while he was dating me and both knew it. 2. He actually deleted Grindr for this new guy, not me like he originally told me. 3. He immediately blocked me from Facebook after I figured all of this out. He would do this temporarily before if we got in an argument. Now to present...it has been almost a month since we ended all contact. The weird thing is this was our last exchange via text: June 26th, 2016 Him: Happy bday! Me: it isn't my bday.... Me: What the hell. I am drunk and it is not my bday Him: Oh *laughing face* what is June 26th then? Me: I don't know. not my bday. bday is in August Him: *monkey covering mouth emoji* Me: SO why did you text me anyways? That was it. Now this morning I hopped on Facebook like I always do. And I am very proud to say I don't actively search for him on there or anything. The only way I figured it out was he started showing up on my suggested friends section. I click it and low and behold I am not blocked anymore. Why though? My friends think this is the beginning of him trying to rekindle...maybe the new guy didn't work out...maybe he realized the city life wasn't making him as happy as he originally thought...who knows. Anyways, it just...bothers me. IDK why, but it does.
Zahara Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 It's pointless trying to figure out the motives of one that is deceitful. It would be best for you to block him. Regardless of what he's trying to do, you need to stay away. Hold on to your self-respect. It's bothering you because it's stirred up some negative emotions. He cheated on you. It's natural to feel distressed. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 The better question is why you haven't blocked him? You already know he's a player, and this is what players do. They toy with people and see if those people still want them. Don't make the mistake of thinking this is about you, per se; this is all about his ego. It makes him feel good to know you still want him, even after he was a total jerk to you. This guy doesn't give a rat's behind about you or your feelings. 1
Author jahall05 Posted July 25, 2016 Author Posted July 25, 2016 Sorry I haven't responded, but I did actually last evening go in and block him on Facebook. I hate to make anything else of mine private though (Twitter, Instagram) because I do enjoy allowing people on dating websites to openly follow or view my photos there. And I know he creeps there because when we dated I would come home from class and he would ask about stuff I posted on Twitter or tell me the pic I posted on Instagram was cute - he only has a Facebook. Anyways, I blocked him. It still makes me curious as to why he unblocked me *for sure* ...I mean you have to click like 3-4 things to unblock someone so its not like he accidentally did it.
Zahara Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Sorry I haven't responded, but I did actually last evening go in and block him on Facebook. I hate to make anything else of mine private though (Twitter, Instagram) because I do enjoy allowing people on dating websites to openly follow or view my photos there. And I know he creeps there because when we dated I would come home from class and he would ask about stuff I posted on Twitter or tell me the pic I posted on Instagram was cute - he only has a Facebook. Anyways, I blocked him. It still makes me curious as to why he unblocked me *for sure* ...I mean you have to click like 3-4 things to unblock someone so its not like he accidentally did it. His relationship has probably tanked so he's looking for what options are available to him. Or maybe he wants to rekindle -- wouldn't make a difference because it would be to your detriment. 1
Author jahall05 Posted July 25, 2016 Author Posted July 25, 2016 His relationship has probably tanked so he's looking for what options are available to him. Or maybe he wants to rekindle -- wouldn't make a difference because it would be to your detriment. You're right. The day I found out he had been dating behind my back...I NEVER want to experience that feeling again. I like to describe it as that moment when someone you love dies and you realize they're gone for good. I sat on the bedroom floor dry heaving and crying for a couple of days. I haven't cried as much since...not that intensely at least. I still get that pit feeling in my stomach though, which absolutely sucks. I am sure I am giving myself an ulcer, haha.
Zahara Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 You're right. The day I found out he had been dating behind my back...I NEVER want to experience that feeling again. I like to describe it as that moment when someone you love dies and you realize they're gone for good. I sat on the bedroom floor dry heaving and crying for a couple of days. I haven't cried as much since...not that intensely at least. I still get that pit feeling in my stomach though, which absolutely sucks. I am sure I am giving myself an ulcer, haha. Been there and done that. The pain was intense. And having seen my ex and the woman in bed together, that image was burned in my mind. I literally couldn't walk upright for days. I felt like jello. I was either crawling from bedroom/bathroom/kitchen or balled up on the floor crying.
Toodaloo Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Oh blimey the guy is an idiot and trying it on. Probably looking for a booty call or to "get one up on you" with the whole oh when is your birthday thing... Sod that. Find someone who has your birthday etched into their heart and will never get it wrong. Find a guy who will not play these sick mind games. But no matter what you do ditch this one he is just not worth your time or thoughts.
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