secretglider Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 This girl started working at my company about six months ago. We're both working on the same project, so interact on a daily basis (whether face to face or by instant message when one of us aren't in the office). We've done a few social things as a wider group (part of our office) and also been away to a conference together (again, as part of our larger group). Whenever we're in a social situation, she always comes to sit near me and always starts chatting to me over anyone else. I can't really figure out whether this is just because we interact more regularly at work, so already have more in common, or whether she is interested. At a social event last week, she was touching my shoulder at various points during the conversation and basically invited herself round to my new house (I'm in the process of buying a house at the moment). She's cute, very intelligent (a trait I really like) and we have a few common interests. Now the big issue: when she first started with us, she mentioned a long distance relationship with someone in another country (not the country she's from either). She never saw him much and hasn't mentioned him for at least three months, so I've no idea whether they are still together or not. I don't want to ask her out then find myself looking like a fool if she isn't interested or is still in this LDR. We have to work together closely each day so I don't things to become awkward in the office. Equally, I've had feelings towards her for quite a while now, so don't want to keep these locked away for too long. Any suggestions how I should approach this?
kolleamm Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 The fact that she isn't mentioning being with someone could mean she likes you and wants you to think she is single. You should definitely ask her out. If you have trouble asking her out, humor always helps get things started. 1
Author secretglider Posted July 30, 2016 Author Posted July 30, 2016 So, I'm definitely going to ask her our. Problem is, how I go about it. We go to lunch and coffee as a group every day, so it'd be a little odd asking her to do this on our own. I'd like to suggest an out of work activity, but worry this could come across as being a bit creepy.
Author secretglider Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 Arrrggghh. More mixed signs. Last week I saw some foodie event (she's a foodie) nearby and suggested to her we should go to this (did not suggest as a date or anything). She came out with a really lame excuse. But today, back in work, she suggested we go for coffee. Just the two of us. Normally "getting coffee" at our office means just chatting in the queue, buying a coffee and going back to your desk to drink it. But today she was keen on sitting down at a table, where we just chatted for about 30 minutes. Really can't read her.
Teddius Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Have you flirted with her or given her any indication that you are interested in dating her? I mean, from what I've read thus far, it seems as if, in terms of flirting, she's put herself out there(touching you, taking the initiative to seek you and sit with and talk to you, and, not to mention, inviting herself to your pad), if indeed she's interested in dating you. And then there's you. You're tentative. That's right, tentative. Tentative about asking her about the relationship she previously mentioned, and, oh-yes, tentative about asking her out. As such, it should be of little surprise that she seems inconsistent in expressing her interest. Ask her out or, at a minimum, flirt with her and ask questions. Either way, you'll eventually get an answer.
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