Yyes Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Hey guys I will try to be as detailed as possible. There's this girl I have been crushing on and we hung out three times. All in a group setting. This has been going on in a span of two months roughly. The way we got in contact is because she told her cousin hey tell ecpr to add me on snapchat. So I don't have her phone but we chat through snapchat. Things had been going well and I told her I thought she was awesome and that I wanted to hang out. And she was like yes. Later on she asks when you said hang out you meant as friends right I then told her Yea but if I was being honest I thought she was pretty and that eventually if possible and if she was up for it then maybe it could develop into something more. She said she was flattered but that she wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship at the moment that she was scared and didn't want to get hurt but she was up for the idea of getting to know each other. She said she would be lying if she said she wasn't attracted to me as well and that she was. So the following two days we spent our time texting about our goals what we like what we look for in a partner etc. After that we haven't talked since Thursday where I messaged her about a dance that I was invited to. She was invited to same party too along with her friends. One of her guy friends went and I asked where she was and he said she didn't feel like coming. To me it's a clear sign she didn't care to hang out with me although some would argue she's playing hard to get. However I wasn't going to beg so I only told her once about it and let it go so it's not like I insisted she go. Just a side note I talked to her friend yesterday and once we got done talking I told her well nice talking to you and the she says likewise and FYI lily is over there. Maybe I'm reading into it too much but I'm assuming she spoke to her friends about me and if she wasn't interested her friends would know and wouldn't direct me towards her and bring her up randomly. Bottom line is she interested? Should I constantly initiate convo or should I wait for her to initiate convo? Should I do no contact even though we never dated considering I told her I was interested?
kolleamm Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 She said she was flattered but that she wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship at the moment that she was scared and didn't want to get hurt I hate to crush your dreams but she is not interested.
Author Yyes Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 I hate to crush your dreams but she is not interested. Can that ever change? I have a friend that didn't get initial interest from his wife. They hung out twice she wasnt interested and they hung out seven months later. And they got married. So how does that happen? And she's the one that initiated contact,nor me.
kolleamm Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 People could initiate contact for a million reasons. As for changing it, improving your physical appearance, muscle, grooming..etc is the only way
Author Yyes Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 People could initiate contact for a million reasons. As for changing it, improving your physical appearance, muscle, grooming..etc is the only way Holy ****. They are all superficial reasons lol. And the issue is that I'm already at ten percent body fat and do my best to look my best.
kolleamm Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 (edited) I don't want to give you any change your personality bs. Do you look like Arnold? By that I mean if you don't have a lot of muscle mass, you've got good room for improvement Edited July 24, 2016 by kolleamm
Author Yyes Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 I don't want to give you any change your personality bs. Do you look like Arnold? By that I mean if you don't have a lot of muscle mass, you've got good room for improvement I legit appreciate your honesty. And no I don't. But she's also not a supermodel either. She's cute though and I know for a fact she had a big crush on me in the past. Shall I let you judge my looks for yourself? Maybe I can pm you some pics
PogoStick Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 You voluntarily friend-zoned yourself. Why would you do that? Why lie and tell a girl you're not interested when you are? Your best bet from the beginning would have been to tell her, not as friend, "I want to take you out on a date". Your best bet now is to do the same thing. If she's not interested then it's better to find out now. Waiting and playing the friend game will NOT make her like you more. 2
kolleamm Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Feel free I don't mind. The past doesn't really matter. I've known women who had big crushes on me in high school, and now wouldn't even talk to me. This usually happens when someone's social circle expands.
Author Yyes Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 Feel free I don't mind. The past doesn't really matter. I've known women who had big crushes on me in high school, and now wouldn't even talk to me. This usually happens when someone's social circle expands. Do you have an email address?
Author Yyes Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 Feel free I don't mind. The past doesn't really matter. I've known women who had big crushes on me in high school, and now wouldn't even talk to me. This usually happens when someone's social circle expands. You voluntarily friend-zoned yourself. Why would you do that? Why lie and tell a girl you're not interested when you are? Your best bet from the beginning would have been to tell her, not as friend, "I want to take you out on a date". Your best bet now is to do the same thing. If she's not interested then it's better to find out now. Waiting and playing the friend game will NOT make her like you more. How though? I told her that I did want to initially be friends and get to know her with the intention of developing into something else. Would no contact help?
Author Yyes Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 Feel free I don't mind. The past doesn't really matter. I've known women who had big crushes on me in high school, and now wouldn't even talk to me. This usually happens when someone's social circle expands. How can I send you the pics?
katiegrl Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 I don't want to give you any change your personality bs. Do you look like Arnold? By that I mean if you don't have a lot of muscle mass, you've got good room for improvement Arnold Schwarzenegger? Are you kidding? Dude, he's gross... And I am not alone in thinking that..
kolleamm Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Arnold Schwarzenegger? Are you kidding? Dude, he's gross... And I am not alone in thinking that.. It's how I motivate guys lol
Erik30 Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 She's not interested. First she made clear that hanging out with you would be as friends, and then she also gave you the "not looking for a relationship right now" excuse. Going no contact might trigger something, but I wouldn't count on it. That really depends on how close you guys are, and if she would miss talking to you. (And if she's actually attracted to you)
Author Yyes Posted July 25, 2016 Author Posted July 25, 2016 She's not interested. First she made clear that hanging out with you would be as friends, and then she also gave you the "not looking for a relationship right now" excuse. Going no contact might trigger something, but I wouldn't count on it. That really depends on how close you guys are, and if she would miss talking to you. (And if she's actually attracted to you) So the fact that she actually tells her friends I'm attractive or that she finds me attractive doesn't necessarily mean that she does?
joseb Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 How though? I told her that I did want to initially be friends When she asked if you meant as friends, the correct answer was "no, i mean on a date" That's why this whole 'hang out' phrase should be banned from anyones vocabulary who is interested in going out with people in a non platonic way. I've had similar 'test' questions before, sometimes it means the end of anything, but I had a 5 year relationship that started like this because I didn't pretend I just wanted to be friends.
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