bdarling Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 I will try to be brief. Me and my ex dated for a year and a half. She has a 4 year old son, and the father is a dead beat dad. She broke up with me 3 months ago and her reason was that she wanted to dedicate more time to her son. She lived at home with her parents, and wanted to move out but said she was afraid of being on her own. About 3 weeks after she ended it I ran into her at a thrift store. Her son told me they lived a block away. So, she moved out almost right after dumping me-and moved less than a mile from me. There have been so many holes in her stories, and because she did not tell me she was moving out and so close to me, I figured she could have been lying about more stuff. I have not been able to let this go. She was still saying she loved me very much and missed me but needed to do this. None of it makes sense and she refuses to answer any of my questions so naturally I think she is guilty of something. I tel myself I am looking for closure but I do not know what I am looking for anymore. I send her emails with questions or accusations, then I will stop for a week until another idea comes into my head 1
Nowty V Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Sure it hurts but suck it up and leave her alone. If you want to find guilt you will, whether it's True or your insecurity/need. The Woman is a Mother with her Child, show some respect. Go completely NC and find something to do that will make you happier. I would suggest some 'Compassion Meditation' if things get too tough for you. She has told you it is something she NEEDS to do, be told. 1
LD1990 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 You're not going to get the truth from your ex, and even if you did, you wouldn't know it from all the lies. You have to accept that it's impossible to know everything. At this point, it doesn't matter anyway. This is your ex, she's no longer part of your life. Whatever is or was going on with her, it's no longer relevant to your life. Go NC and give up the idea of getting the truth. It's a waste of time and energy. 1
Satu Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 She doesn't have to answer your questions, or respond to your accusations. She doesn't owe you anything. Because: The relationship is over. Stop pestering her, and get on with your life. Take care. 2
elaine567 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Whatever the reason she had for breaking up with you, truth is, she did not see a future with you in it. You now have to leave her alone, stop sending her questions and ACCUSATIONS???? and start getting on with your own life. I guess the Accusations may be the reason she did not tell you where she was moving to. Let it go. 1
lolablue17 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 I've been more than once in similar situations. You of course made many mistakes. The best thing is of course to let it go. Not only for forgetting her, but more for yourself, and for being a better man in the future. Inability to let go is a bad attribute, If you can't, you must look ONLY towards the future, never the past. You were busy asking her questions, and making accusations, instead of being nice. When you heard about her moving out, you could have said "congratulations, How great it is for you". You could have bought her a nice gift for her new place. After some gestures, you also could have invited her to a coffe. But now if you invite her she will refuse, because she's convinced she will only get investigations and accusations from you. It will help if you treat the whole thing as a test, a game, a practice for you to become a better person. For yourself. 2
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