letsdoitman Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Me and my last girlfriend broke up 2 years ago. We had a two year relationship, 1,5 from this living together. It was really intense and very close. In the end I got a bit complacent and he got bitchy about it. I then tried to fix it, but becoming needy totally flipped things around and so she dumped me for a mutual friend. We also played "cat and mouse" for 5-6 months after. Meaning me chasing after her (BIG mistake I know), then trying to move on with someone new after she rejects me, and then as soon as she saw me with someone else, she pulled me back in. That went on with 2-3 times. That's all in the past now. But when I sometimes hear **** about her boyfriend (former mutual friend) or their relationship, it still makes me sick. It's not about them, it just reminds me of me loosing myself and letting to be walked over and played around. I've only had hookups during this 2 years of being single. Not sleeping with the same woman more than twice. Recently I met a girl, who I've hanged out now for for a few weeks and we've slept together already 7 times or something. I was at first slow to move forward and that made her almost to reject me but after sleeping together, she has changed her mind. Seems she really enjoys our intimate times together and she invites me to places etc. The only thing that seems a bit of a RED flag to me, is that she doesn't really asks too many personal questions. I am not sure if that makes us just **** buddies. But she totally seems to be more and more into me otherwise. Likes to eye gaze, hug, spoon, make stuff for me and take care of me. I really dig her, but I'm trying to not get too into her, don't want to get hurt again. Anyway, after my last breakup I almost lost myself. Having a relationship completely dissolve with someone, who you considered spending the rest of your life with was hard. So I also immersed myself into the manosphere and took the RED pill, so to speak. While I've learned a lot from this, it also has made me incredibly suspicious and to almost give up in relationships. I have a feeling it's sooner or later, a girl would leave me, or (me her) and I am careful not to commit, or reveal any real romantic feelings etc. It has also made me incredibly needy sometimes. I have to force myself to back off and lay low. I often feel I'm not enough. Not enough to be loved (long-term), not interesting enough, funny enough, rich enough, talented enough, adventurous enough, healthy enough... I know in logical way, that most of it is not true, but I cannot help to think like that. I also know if I think like that, that could be self-proclaiming prophecy and could become true. I'm thinking what to do. I definitely having problems with self love. I feel I'm probably not ready for a relationship, when to thik that one has to love himself first. Too often do I look for assurance from outside sources. I'm thinking to get therapy and also thinking that even though I really like this, girl, I should asap get some other semi-relationship going, so I would be less needy. Thoughts? Things are good right now I guess between me and her. We last spent the night together on Tuesday and I've been traveling afterwards.
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