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CryForNoOne

By CryForNoOne
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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

Posted
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I played a gig last night and met this couple from the audience afterwards. I wound up talking to the lady for about 15 minutes. She just moved back into the area and is looking for work and making new connections. Turns out we have mutual friends and she's really keen on live music so we friended each other on Facebook. At that point, I think her date got annoyed and pulled her away. They left a few minutes later. This morning she likes my cover photo on my Facebook page. Ladies, is this a not so subtle way to indicate interest?

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted (edited)

Nope it's not.

 

 

If she really wanted to show interest in you she would have messaged you saying "I enjoyed our conversation, it was nice meeting you ;)"

Edited by smackie9
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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

I "like" all sorts of stuff on FB, I am not indicating "interest".

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

Posted
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Posted
I "like" all sorts of stuff on FB, I am not indicating "interest".

 

Well DUH. I know that. This is not something I posted recently on my timeline. You'd have to browse my Facebook photos to find the pic as it's over a year old.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
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looking through someones photos out of curiosity is a common behavior, we are all guilty of it...doesn't mean anything.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
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OP I have a few questions for you. Are you typically cautious because you get friend zoned a lot? Do you lack confidence that in order to ask someone on a date, you have to be totally reassured that they do have an interest in you? Do you fear rejection that much that you have to ask if someone is interested? Do you find yourself reading into things too much?

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

Posted
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OP I have a few questions for you. Are you typically cautious because you get friend zoned a lot? Do you lack confidence that in order to ask someone on a date, you have to be totally reassured that they do have an interest in you? Do you fear rejection that much that you have to ask if someone is interested? Do you find yourself reading into things too much?

 

I have a very high IQ and that can be a curse at times. I over-analyze and read too much into everything. My ex told me I'm MUCH more fun when I'm drunk. I'm very intense and somewhat uptight when I'm sober. I get a couple drinks in me and I relax, become fearless, and the life of the party. So I meet lots and lots of women when I play gigs or go to bars. Then the next day I start to over-analyze everything. Come the actual date and I'm fine again.

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Bialy Established Member

Bialy

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't read too much into the FB like. When I'm interested in someone and I connect with them on FB, I may or may not like anything. I will browse through the photos, of course to get a feel for his personality.

 

If she reached out via messenger and said something like, "it was really great seeing you that night" --- that would be a sign of wanting to establish communication, absolutely, though.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

Facebook is a zero calorie representation of the real world.

 

You list people you don't know as friends.

 

You like things, because you think you should, because they are posted by friends you don't know.

 

Zero calories.

 

 

Take care.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted
I have a very high IQ and that can be a curse at times. I over-analyze and read too much into everything. My ex told me I'm MUCH more fun when I'm drunk. I'm very intense and somewhat uptight when I'm sober. I get a couple drinks in me and I relax, become fearless, and the life of the party. So I meet lots and lots of women when I play gigs or go to bars. Then the next day I start to over-analyze everything. Come the actual date and I'm fine again.

 

I'm a bit of a ball buster but I'm going to say it anyways. A high IQ has nothing to do with it your lack of ability to have game or be in the moment. Einstein himself was quite the ladies man. He was gettin it with the ladies np even before he was famous. He had more affairs than you can shake a stick at. You have anxiety which kills your confidence....anxiety is what makes you second guess, wonder what they think of you, fear of rejection, over analyze, etc. Anxiety is the reason why about 80% of the posters are here posting threads.

 

Here's a tip, do not care if they give you signals/signs of interest or not. That should not be a concern to you. If you are attracted to them, you just go for it and get their number. That kind of confidence gets you dates. Women want that from a guy. If they reject you so what, at least they feel flattered, and you leave them with a little ego boost.....is that really so bad?

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

Posted
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I'm a bit of a ball buster but I'm going to say it anyways. A high IQ has nothing to do with it your lack of ability to have game or be in the moment. Einstein himself was quite the ladies man. He was gettin it with the ladies np even before he was famous. He had more affairs than you can shake a stick at. You have anxiety which kills your confidence....anxiety is what makes you second guess, wonder what they think of you, fear of rejection, over analyze, etc. Anxiety is the reason why about 80% of the posters are here posting threads.

 

Here's a tip, do not care if they give you signals/signs of interest or not. That should not be a concern to you. If you are attracted to them, you just go for it and get their number. That kind of confidence gets you dates. Women want that from a guy. If they reject you so what, at least they feel flattered, and you leave them with a little ego boost.....is that really so bad?

 

I'm not sure if you really read my response but my issue is not the same as that 80% you're referring to. I over-analyze everything but I'm not lacking confidence. I'll research for an hour and read 20 reviews on Amazon.com before I order a non-stick frying pan. I refuse to see a movie unless I read great reviews first. That's why my ex-GF said I'm intense, not because I'm shy. How do you know Einstein wasn't exactly like me despite being a ladies man? Sometimes ignorance is bliss...

 

So I ask these questions because I like to have as close to perfect information as I can before I proceed... Yes I hate rejection as much as the next guy, but it doesn't stop me from asking women out. I mean c'mon I hit on a girl and got her contact info right in front of her date...

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

Posted
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Posted (edited)
I wouldn't read too much into the FB like. When I'm interested in someone and I connect with them on FB, I may or may not like anything. I will browse through the photos, of course to get a feel for his personality.

 

Well that hasn't been my experience given the circumstances. Let's turn the tables. You meet a guy at a bar and he asks to friend your on Facebook. The next day, he starts liking some random photos that are not recent. The thought doesn't cross your mind that he's creeping all over your Facebook page???

 

I accept a lot of random friend requests from groupies (male and female) so that I can invite them to future gigs. Invariably, about 1 in 10 become creepers. They start by liking all kinds of photos and videos. Then they start messaging me about when the next gig is, song requests, can I get guitar lessons (guys), or can I give you my number (girls). A few turned out to be total psychos but most harmlessly just go away once I start ignoring them. So sorry, from experience, I read a lot into random Facebook likes.

 

As it turned out, a band mate knows her, and wrote on her FB wall the next day thanking her for coming out. I'm pretty sure he has the hots for her also. I replied to the thread inviting her to our next gig. She then replied 3 times, posting some links about karma and serendipity, then deleted them all, and replaced them with a simple "Lovely, I'll be there.:)" Someone else is overthinking too. LOL. Then last night, she messaged me, thanking me for helping her get back in touch with a mutual friend (it came up in our convo). I haven't replied yet but am fairly certain she is interested.

Edited by CryForNoOne
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