Timshel Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 What truth? I don't intend to come out soon. Respect has nothing to do with sexual preference/marital status, I guess. Plus, I harm nobody; on the contrary, I may be too tolerant, which is bad, too. I have told my family I may never get married if I don't find te right woman. Luckily, I live alone and am independent in all regards. You have been given a plethora of excellent advice to handle your sister in law. Patience....if you feel that she is tactless or worse...with malice, turn and walk away. This would make you the one with tact. If you continue to feel the need to put her 'in her place,' for her ignorant comments about bringing a woman or friend to the beach; smile, laugh and walk away as all well heeled are taught. I hope you are able to find a place of cohesion/mutual respect with her. She is family. Humour her long enough to know more about her, you may be surprised or perhaps you are right. There is really only something to learn.....figure out what you can contribute/give, make a difficult situation into growth. I have never been more certain of my own principles than in the company of those who differ. 1
SpiralOut Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 (edited) You're right but then she acts the victim, as if her "harmless suggestions" were misunderstood by others. However, she can't help being nosy and tactless - it's her force of habit, I guess. In that case, you can still say it, but not out loud. Say it to yourself inside your head. Try to see her as a silly person who is acting ridiculous, and you're just not going to say anything because you feel sorry for her. After all, nobody else in your family likes her very much either. She has no power. If you look at her that way, she won't be able to get under you skin quite so much. Another way to deal with unsolicited advice is to say (with a completely straight face and no sarcasm) "thanks for the advice," or "that's a good idea. I'll think about that." Then you can either walk away, or change the subject. Edited July 27, 2016 by SpiralOut 1
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