lostintranslation89 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 My ex and I dated for a year. Things were great in the beginning--he was 27 and I was his first serious girlfriend whereas I had already been in a couple of relationships so he was super head over heels. Moved in together a couple months later. That's when things went to **** i.e. had to pick up after him all the time (would leave underwear and nail clippings everywhere), make his bed, put his dishes away, etc, etc. From time to time, I would call him out on it and he wouldn't listen or respond, so I would lose my temper and on occasion, yell and break the nearest thing in sight. His other issues included addiction to work. When he wasn't taking work calls around me, he was playing WoW. When he wasn't playing video games, he was jerking off since he was addicted to porn. He would give me **** about rarely sleeping with him (we would do it 1-3 times max a week) but how could I be about it if he had erectile dysfunction and would only last a few minutes if he finally did manage to get it up? Also, for someone who was in to work, video games, and porn, he was awfully curious about my phone. He would always want to go through it and he would facetime me when I was out to see where I was. He also started giving me **** about my job search. I was a recent grad and was working 2 jobs until I found something better/related to my field. He said he was losing hair and gaining weight because of me and that I was stressing him out. I was not financially dependent on him, I paid for my car, insurance, my food on outings/dates, groceries, and my necessities. On my birthday, I had to plan my own outing for us as he did not plan anything whereas I spent nearly a grand on him on things he needed as a token of my appreciation. This was upsetting--especially since he gave me more **** during my own birthday lunch about how I need to work harder at my job search, I need to work out more, I need to tan (fyi, I am 120lbs and 5ft9 and olive complexion...but he liked the bodybuilder look). Also, my mom extended an invite to us to a really fancy restaurant which he turned down yet he has always forced me to come along to all of his family outings despite them being at meh places. This upset me and led me to finally break up with him, and eventually, move out. For the last couple of months, I reached out to him to make plans. We have hung out a couple of times and there have been some heartfelt moments. He says he misses me and loves me and no one comes near me but doesn't do anything about it. I told him to delete our iMessage thread with all our pics and convos and he had to fight for me to not make him do that because of "memories". He doesn't see us getting back together because he thinks I "killed" the chemistry and that I didn't enjoy sex. There are moments when he says he sees me as the mother of his children and then moments where he goes back on what he says and says he needs to see more people. Problem is, he is always home, never steps out. When he does, he is not social. He says he needs to focus on himself but is becoming a recluse. He is completely closed off to the idea of communicating and working on us but I think things are now better since I just landed an amazing job and he just bought a place. Thoughts? Long story short: Girlfriend breaks up with boyfriend after one year of dating and living together because boyfriend has porn and video game addiction, doesn't pay her attention or take her out, boyfriend sees her lack of interest in sex and her temper due to lack of communication in the relationship as grounds for the relationship not working, doesn't want to work on fixing things, claims he is moving on but clings to the past at times and is not making an effort to meet someone new.
phineas Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 You lose your chit and break random objects and he's the crazy one? Neither one of you wants to take responsibility for your actions and instead blames the other for "making you do it" Perhaps you should not of moved in with him so soon. Then you would of learned he was man-child that needs his mother to pick up after him.
Lois_Griffin Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Thoughts?He sounds like a complete loser. Yet ANOTHER one who demands a 50/50 financial split down the middle yet thinks the woman should do all the housework. Selfish a*ssholes like this don't deserve to be coupled up. This emotionally abusive, socially stunted fool doesn't need a girlfriend. He needs a mommy to pick up after him. I completely understand why he hasn't had any serious girlfriends up until now - he probably scared them off. I find it amusing that the guy isn't even capable of normal sex, yet expects you to groom yourself into a bodybuilder for him because 'that's what he likes.' And yet, God's gift to women is 'balding and gaining weight.' How attractive. I don't honestly know how you even had the stomach to deal with this cretin as long as you did. I thought this post was just a story about how you managed to dump a loser but when I got to the part where you actually reached out to him and wanted to get back together, my jaw dropped. Literally. I'm sorry, but I don't get it. I don't. 1
Zahara Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 (edited) Things are better because he bought a new place and you found a job? That's it? You think that changes the mental and emotional dynamic of who he is as a person? And you with your need to break and smash things out of anger? Best you two move on because a house and a job isn't going to make all those issues go away. He's still going to watch porn, play video games and focus on his work. He's still going to be a slob. He's still going to have problems in the bedroom. I had to go back and read the last part because I thought you were broken up/venting but then realized you're trying to reconcile. Maybe you need to remind yourself again as to what you truly have for a partner and relationship. Edited July 24, 2016 by Zahara 1
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