furby19 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 There is a new guy at work that I like. I thought he was cute when I first saw him but decided I would not say anything to him unless he spoke to me first. He finally spoke to me and I started speaking to him back. We had a few conversations but it is hard for me to tell if he is just a nice guy or if he is interested in me. One day he was placed on an assignment that he did not want to work. I went to him and volunteered to switch assignments with him. After switching with him, he stuck around for a while to tell me about his previous job and other little things about him. I told him how I felt about the job and some things about my previous job as well. When he was leaving, he told me he was going to get some coffee and offered to buy me some but I declined. I sat there for the rest of the time trying to figure out if he was showing interest or if he was just being nice. A few days later, we were working across from one another and he didn't say anything to me most of the day. So, I wrote him offering to buy me coffee the other day off as him being nice to me for switching assignments with him. However, when we were about to leave work I asked him a question and he came over to talk to me. While we were talking he asked me where my locker room was. I told him that it all the way on the other side of the building and that he did not have to wait for me. I have no idea why I answered him with that response. It left me wondering if he had intentions on asking me if he could walk with me over there. What do you think? Do you think he likes me? If so, what should I do to let him know I am interested? Am I reading too much into this because I like him? Any responses will be greatly appreciated.
preraph Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Gosh, I don't know if he likes you or is just being polite, but I do know you think you don't deserve him because you have a pattern of quickly turning down his little polite suggestions like coffee or your locker. It's hard to come back from that if he IS interested. Which you cannot know without taking some risk. It's doubtful he will keep offering coffee or anything after two rejections. Your actions are like "Oh, you shouldn't bother being nice to me." You have self-esteem issues that need to be worked on. You can't accept a nice small gesture. Forget about whether he like-likes you. He doesn't know that yet because he doesn't know you. All he knows is some woman offered to get him out of something he didn't want to do. If you do manage to get to know him some, please don't get ahead of yourself. He's not thinking "Does she like me as a future husband," I can guarantee you that, but you are already trying to pin down how much he likes you before you even make the slightest move to get to know him! Stop jumping steps to make yourself feel more comfortable because it's only paralyzing you. No man is going to say "Okay, I don't know you but I know I love you so now can we go for coffee?"
smackie9 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 The only way to find out is to stop turning down his offers to buy you coffee or walk with you. If you keep shutting a man down you will never get a date. Go by this rule of thumb. If a man goes out of his way to talk with you, the possibility is there. Take it and run with it!
Author furby19 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 Thanks for responding to my post. I will just spark a random conversation with him to see how he responds. And you are right, I do have self esteem issues I need to work on. I always worry that if I come on to a guy that he will get turned off easily considering the fact that they like to do most of the chasing.
smackie9 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 you don't need to "come onto" a guy. You just have to accept his invitations and be receptive by being pleasant and friendly.
preraph Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Thanks for responding to my post. I will just spark a random conversation with him to see how he responds. And you are right, I do have self esteem issues I need to work on. I always worry that if I come on to a guy that he will get turned off easily considering the fact that they like to do most of the chasing. Don't come on to him. Get to know him. Tell him, Hey, how about that coffee now?
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