friendlygiant Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 (edited) Hey everyone, I'm new here and looking for some guidance. I had a bf in college, we fell in love immediately and I won't lie we were the couple from the notebook for our grade. Before going abroad junior year we fought brokeup but when he was abroad told me he wanted to marry me and begged for me back. took him back and he left me again when he returned home. we fought too much and i was always suspicious of another girl. Fast forward end of senior year, I left the country for a year to do service. before leaving he said maybe a future for us but not at the time. We didn't speak after I left, until the end he reconnected and said he was thinking of me, how was I? I never got the message because my phone was stolen. He reached out again when i was home, saying he tried to reach out and wanted to say what's up. I don't think things in his life were great, he moved back to our college town about 3 hours from me but we both would be able to see eachother when he comes to the place we both live on the summer during the weekends. told him he had me at hello and he said the same. I thought we might have a chance at getting back together. Fast forward to this summer, he never made the attempt to reach out to see me even though he came to our summer place every weekend. I was upset and felt rejected. He moved back in with his friends and things at work seem to be better. The only time he reached out was when he saw me at a sporting event with another guy on snapchat, and messaged me a few days later saying "guess what.. i was at that game." frustrated.. i kind of shut him down like is he really trying to talk now when he hasnt made an effort to see me? Fast forward a month later... I reached out one last time saying i thought about him a lot and he said thanks for the text, was pretty short with me. no other girl in his life. I told him i had dated a few others here and there but no one like him and needed to know if he saw a future between us. He responded with "im not sure were on the same page. I'm alright with where i'm at right now and haven't thought about down the road yet, but I have a hard time seeing a future for us." I feel so confused with his up and down behavior. I honestly thought he was the one, and hoped we could make it work now that I returned. He is very smart, captain of his teams, responsible and things ended without much closure. He was always pretty good to me. Is it over for good? Why would he reconnect to shut me down? Thanks. Edited July 23, 2016 by friendlygiant
JewelD Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 Because you're available. Just bc he said there's no other girl in his life doesn't mean he was being honest with you. When people get dumped or they feel bored or lonely, they hit up past partners to feel that emotional connection. But it's just a fix. He's not serious about you or he wouldn't be playing these games. He just wants to make sure he has you in case he should need you in the future. I doubt the up and down behavior will end unless you end it. Let him go or he will keep getting your hopes up and then letting you down. 1
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