friendlygiant Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 Hey everyone, I'm new here and looking for some guidance. I had a bf in college, we fell in love immediately and I won't lie we were the couple from the notebook for our grade. Before going abroad junior year we fought brokeup but when he was abroad told me he wanted to marry me and begged for me back. took him back and he left me again when he returned home. we fought too much and i was always suspicious of another girl. Fast forward end of senior year, I left the country for a year to do service. before leaving he said maybe a future for us but not at the time. We didn't speak after I left, until the end he reconnected and said he was thinking of me, how was I? I never got the message because my phone was stolen. He reached out again when i was home, saying he tried to reach out and wanted to say what's up. I don't think things in his life were great, he moved back to our college town about 3 hours from me but we both would be able to see eachother when he comes to the place we both live on the summer during the weekends. told him he had me at hello and he said the same. I thought we might have a chance at getting back together. Fast forward to this summer, he never made the attempt to reach out to see me even though he came to our summer place every weekend. I was upset and felt rejected. He moved back in with his friends and things at work seem to be better. I reached out one last time saying i thought about him a lot and he said thanks for the text, was pretty short with me. no other girl in his life. I told him i had dated a few others here and there but no one like him and needed to know if he saw a future between us. He responded with "im not sure were on the same page. I'm alright with where i'm at right now and haven't thought about down the road yet, but I have a hard time seeing a future for us." I feel so confused with his up and down behavior. I honestly thought he was the one, and hoped we could make it work now that I returned. He is very smart, captain of his teams, responsible and things ended without much closure. He was always pretty good to me. Is it over for good? Why would he reconnect to shut me down? Thanks.
kolleamm Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 When people have nobody else to talk to they will message anyone. Don't waste your time. 2
preraph Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 He is simply not interested in you as anything more than a person to say hi to once in awhile. He has had ample time to get to know you and knows you are not the woman he wants to marry. I know it's hard not to take it personal, but it's more about him than you. You just need to give up on this and stop wasting time. Maybe you should just block him to show you don't need him as a casual friend and to help yourself move on. I mean, haven't there been guys you've thought are nice as friends but you know already you'd never want to be with? You need to stop hanging on to the ancient history of when you guy were young and in school and in young love. Your brains didn't even fully mature until you were in your mid-twenties. Those are the years people change and explore and move forward and away from the past. You need to do the same and stop hoping it will change. No one says those words to someone about not seeing a future unless they're forced into a corner and they're hard words to say, so you better understand he means them.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 It sounds like he's just moved on. At one time, you two worked as a couple. That's not the case anymore. This isn't uncommon with young love. People grow and change so much at your age.
elaine567 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 Hey everyone, I'm new here and looking for some guidance. I had a bf in college, we fell in love immediately and I won't lie we were the couple from the notebook for our grade. Before going abroad junior year we fought brokeup but when he was abroad told me he wanted to marry me and begged for me back. took him back and he left me again when he returned home. we fought too much and i was always suspicious of another girl. Fast forward end of senior year, I left the country for a year to do service. before leaving he said maybe a future for us but not at the time. YOU took that at face value, when in fact so many dumpers say it, as it seems to soften the blow. "We will be together again in the future", sounds romantic and lovely and is something to hold onto, but they don't really mean it. He obviously likes to keep in touch, many dumpers do, they want to be friends, but you mistakenly took that for wanting to get back together and that was most likely the last thing on his mind and when you pushed him, he had to tell you that. Sorry, but it IS over
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