kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 It's only been about 4 days and I just keep thinking about his betrayal. I already know the truth. But I want him to look me in the eyes and admit it all. I want to know the reason why which is yes, one, that he didn't love me and that I realized that and that's why I'm no longer with him. I just want some explanations. Also... I admit.. I kind of want to talk to him again because the woman he's been withs BF, and are talking and he told me a few more things and provided me some of text conversations... I will be doing a lot of yelling. these are the other things I needed before to throw in his face so I want to do it now.
Zahara Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 This guy was cheating on you 2 years out of your 6 years together and talking ill about you to all his friends. It's a waste of time. He has no care for you therefore no care to explain and even if he did, do you even think that the words of someone who lies and cheats easily bears value? Admit it all? That's like trying to draw blood from stone. It's futile. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 You're not going to get the answers you're seeking from him. He's not going to admit it all. I know how much you want a full confession, but speaking from experience, that is extremely unlikely to happen. 1
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Author Posted July 23, 2016 You're not going to get the answers you're seeking from him. He's not going to admit it all. I know how much you want a full confession, but speaking from experience, that is extremely unlikely to happen. I just want to ask him a question and when he denies it, I want to throw proof in his face.' It's just to actually see him one last time and slap him.
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Author Posted July 23, 2016 This guy was cheating on you 2 years out of your 6 years together and talking ill about you to all his friends. It's a waste of time. He has no care for you therefore no care to explain and even if he did, do you even think that the words of someone who lies and cheats easily bears value? Admit it all? That's like trying to draw blood from stone. It's futile. you're right. But I can't.. I can't stand being bi polar angry and sad. Mixed emotions ever since.
Zahara Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 you're right. But I can't.. I can't stand being bi polar angry and sad. Mixed emotions ever since. But it's absolutely natural to feel the way you do. There's nothing wrong with feeling angry, sad or wanting to scream like a lunatic -- you were betrayed and you are in pain. I've been cheated on before too and even had to see them in the act but what you need to understand is that the emotions you feel are going to catapult you all over the place. It's normal. You don't go to the cheater for answers because if they could not extend decency to you then, they won't do it now. And even if you yelled at him, he'd probably laugh and go share with his friends about how psychotic you are -- he still walks away without a care while you still have to go back to the hole of mixed emotions. Stay NC. Don't respond to him. Block his number. Push forward. You're looking for answers in the wrong places. 2
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Author Posted July 23, 2016 But it's absolutely natural to feel the way you do. There's nothing wrong with feeling angry, sad or wanting to scream like a lunatic -- you were betrayed and you are in pain. I've been cheated on before too and even had to see them in the act but what you need to understand is that the emotions you feel are going to catapult you all over the place. It's normal. You don't go to the cheater for answers because if they could not extend decency to you then, they won't do it now. And even if you yelled at him, he'd probably laugh and go share with his friends about how psychotic you are -- he still walks away without a care while you still have to go back to the hole of mixed emotions. Stay NC. Don't respond to him. Block his number. Push forward. You're looking for answers in the wrong places. He already did all the smack talking he wanted to. So I don't care what else he really has to say about me. I already got my revenge lol.... But we'll save that for another day.. Now that he's calmed down i know he will have a little more to say then I'll end the conversation with pic his ** bfs provided me with AND.. man I wish I caught my ex and the woman in the act.'both parties would be dead and it'll be worth being in prison. I cannot stand women who get with men knowing they're taken. She herself was in one. She's never put herself in my situation!? Hopefully that'll happen to her so she'll know how much it hurts
Giggles666 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 //AND.. man I wish I caught my ex and the woman in the act.'both parties would be dead and it'll be worth being in prison. I cannot stand women who get with men knowing they're taken. She herself was in one. She's never put herself in my situation!? Hopefully that'll happen to her so she'll know how much it hurts// You're angry, many of us have been there. Emotions run high and will for a while, they will subside. The best "revenge" is success = a good, happy life and you need to realize you will get there. This relationship was not the right path. Try to relax and not want to push proof or get answers into someone's face who does not need it. I have confronted people with proof, and frankly I felt far worse afterward. Some things are out of our control. 1
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Author Posted July 23, 2016 //AND.. man I wish I caught my ex and the woman in the act.'both parties would be dead and it'll be worth being in prison. I cannot stand women who get with men knowing they're taken. She herself was in one. She's never put herself in my situation!? Hopefully that'll happen to her so she'll know how much it hurts// You're angry, many of us have been there. Emotions run high and will for a while, they will subside. The best "revenge" is success = a good, happy life and you need to realize you will get there. This relationship was not the right path. Try to relax and not want to push proof or get answers into someone's face who does not need it. I have confronted people with proof, and frankly I felt far worse afterward. Some things are out of our control. Yeah.. I'm actually re thinking now if I want to see him now. He gets off work in an hour. I know deep down inside, he knows we're done. Nothing can be salvaged.. So what's there to lose? He wasn't afraid to lose me while doin all this backstabbing, why should he care now.. He will get back with thst troll sooner or later.
Zahara Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 AND.. man I wish I caught my ex and the woman in the act.'both parties would be dead and it'll be worth being in prison. I cannot stand women who get with men knowing they're taken. She herself was in one. She's never put herself in my situation!? Hopefully that'll happen to her so she'll know how much it hurts The best revenge is living well. It wouldn't be worth spending my life or yours in prison at the expense of a cheater. That kind of thinking is limiting. I'd have better things to do for the upcoming decades of my life. You can't project your values on others. You just have to accept that others may have a far different moral compass from yours and move on from it. I know you're angry. Try to refrain from doing anything irrational. What may seem like a good idea now won't when emotions have subsided or when a situation has gotten out of hand. 2
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Author Posted July 23, 2016 The best revenge is living well. It wouldn't be worth spending my life or yours in prison at the expense of a cheater. That kind of thinking is limiting. I'd have better things to do for the upcoming decades of my life. You can't project your values on others. You just have to accept that others may have a far different moral compass from yours and move on from it. I know you're angry. Try to refrain from doing anything irrational. What may seem like a good idea now won't when emotions have subsided or when a situation has gotten out of hand. Exactly why I haven't done more damage. I was going to do something further worst. But I did not want to get in trouble. She called the cops on me. They couldn't do anything because I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't even speak to her at all! I just wrote to her BF and sent a few pics! I made no contact what so ever because I know it would be bad. She's the one who texted me a bunch of crazy stuff. Cursing me out to stay away from her man etc , and that I abandoned mine and she was the only one there for him. She was getting manipulating hard from him. I know she liked him as a friend but not in a relationship way. But he was obsessed with her. What lead me to leave him was the fact that I could forgive the fact that he had sex with her.. But it was multiple times and the proof in pics and videos said it all. He was sprung. I would just like him to look my in the eye and admit it. Yes I know he's in love with her. Yes I know he doesn't love me. Yes I know I deserve more. But I want to hear it from him. Even tho he doesn't mean it, I want to hear him admit everything.
SevenCity Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Exactly why I haven't done more damage. I was going to do something further worst. But I did not want to get in trouble. She called the cops on me. They couldn't do anything because I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't even speak to her at all! I just wrote to her BF and sent a few pics! I made no contact what so ever because I know it would be bad. She's the one who texted me a bunch of crazy stuff. Cursing me out to stay away from her man etc , and that I abandoned mine and she was the only one there for him. She was getting manipulating hard from him. I know she liked him as a friend but not in a relationship way. But he was obsessed with her. What lead me to leave him was the fact that I could forgive the fact that he had sex with her.. But it was multiple times and the proof in pics and videos said it all. He was sprung. I would just like him to look my in the eye and admit it. Yes I know he's in love with her. Yes I know he doesn't love me. Yes I know I deserve more. But I want to hear it from him. Even tho he doesn't mean it, I want to hear him admit everything. The only thing you can do is move on. A friend of mine at work said something interesting to me. "No one sitting in prison thinks "that was worth it"". Emotions can make you do stupid stuff. I make a point (as best I can) to only base my actions on logical thought. Especially when I'm angry. 1
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 The only thing you can do is move on. A friend of mine at work said something interesting to me. "No one sitting in prison thinks "that was worth it"". Emotions can make you do stupid stuff. I make a point (as best I can) to only base my actions on logical thought. Especially when I'm angry. I am still more angry then I am sad. I need to forgive but not forget.... I need to stop being angry. It's just hurting me in the end. That's why I want to talk to him. Lay everything out! Then once I am done with being angry, I can get on with the healing process with my emotion of sadness. I had a song on repeat today and cried a good 30 mins. Everyday , I do an15-30 min burst of crying while listening to my break up playlist. It helps.
bubbaganoosh Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 I've been there and done that and I found out the hard way by thinking that asking for reasons will put it to rest. Ask your question to your ex and get an answer. It might be the gospel truth you get in return and I promise you that it will lead to another question, then another and will continue until your blue in the face. My advice to you is let your wounds heal. By trying to find answers to fit your questions is a pipe dream please believe me on this. Leave it go and move on. If you don't then all your doing is reopening old wounds and you'll never heal. I know, I went through it, trust me on this please. Best of luck to you. 1
AT15 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 I've been there and done that and I found out the hard way by thinking that asking for reasons will put it to rest. Ask your question to your ex and get an answer. It might be the gospel truth you get in return and I promise you that it will lead to another question, then another and will continue until your blue in the face. My advice to you is let your wounds heal. By trying to find answers to fit your questions is a pipe dream please believe me on this. Leave it go and move on. If you don't then all your doing is reopening old wounds and you'll never heal. I know, I went through it, trust me on this please. Best of luck to you. Really good advice. She is on that emotional bender. I understand. It hurts. It's confusing. But, you have to ride these emotional waves out. It will get better. 1
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 I've been there and done that and I found out the hard way by thinking that asking for reasons will put it to rest. Ask your question to your ex and get an answer. It might be the gospel truth you get in return and I promise you that it will lead to another question, then another and will continue until your blue in the face. My advice to you is let your wounds heal. By trying to find answers to fit your questions is a pipe dream please believe me on this. Leave it go and move on. If you don't then all your doing is reopening old wounds and you'll never heal. I know, I went through it, trust me on this please. Best of luck to you. Yup. Already met up with him and still with him. Mistake. Already arguing and now the silent treatment
BC1980 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Yup. Already met up with him and still with him. Mistake. Already arguing and now the silent treatment You met up with him?
Giggles666 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 I been there and done that, it never helps. All you end up doing is losing control and allowing him to now gain control. I feel for you, but just cut him loose and no more meetings or trying to show him how angry you are...if you show him how angry you are, he knows he has control. If you go no contact and just become a ghost it will help you much more, and also perhaps throw him out of this control.He's not worth anything you are doing, he's an assclown who lost you. When you react, you are the "crazy ex". 1
Sunnymae Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 You can ask, but more then likely he won't answer. Which will in turn make you even more angry and frustrated. Anger is understandable since you were betrayed, but for your well being you need to start thinking with your head, and not your emotions, this can get you in trouble. Some people are just wired to be with many women, it's in their DNA. You can't physically hurt someone because they cheated on you, or fell in love with someone, and not expect some legal repercussions. I'm not saying that what he did was right, but it's not your place to punish him. Google Jodi Arias, she felt compelled to punish her boyfriend, see what that got her. 1
Zahara Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Yup. Already met up with him and still with him. Mistake. Already arguing and now the silent treatment I'm not sure what you were hoping for but as I said, it's like drawing blood from stone. It's just futile and in the grand scheme of things doesn't change anything. You live and learn. Hopefully after this you focus on blocking him and healing rather than forcing your need to be validated by him. 2
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 You met up with him? Yes.. Argued. Talked. Argued. Talk. Argued. Mutual agreement on certain things . Bed. But I must say I am less sad and angry now. We didn't make up and I already established that we will ever. It was good to see eachother for a bit after we calmed down. We both got to say things we didn't get to or forgot to out of our anger before I left home but atleast some progress was done
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 You can ask, but more then likely he won't answer. Which will in turn make you even more angry and frustrated. Anger is understandable since you were betrayed, but for your well being you need to start thinking with your head, and not your emotions, this can get you in trouble. Some people are just wired to be with many women, it's in their DNA. You can't physically hurt someone because they cheated on you, or fell in love with someone, and not expect some legal repercussions. I'm not saying that what he did was right, but it's not your place to punish him. Google Jodi Arias, she felt compelled to punish her boyfriend, see what that got her. True, I was thinking w/ my emotions. I spoke with my emotions, I spoke with my actions and I stood firm. No taking eachother back! Nothing can be salvaged out of everything we have done to e/o. An UHHHH yeah.. Even though I been saying I would do this and that etc. noooope I wouldn't be able to kill anyone over someone who didn't love me back. They aren't worth it therefore I don't need to be miserable over it
Zahara Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Yes.. Argued. Talked. Argued. Talk. Argued. Mutual agreement on certain things . Bed. But I must say I am less sad and angry now. We didn't make up and I already established that we will ever. It was good to see eachother for a bit after we calmed down. We both got to say things we didn't get to or forgot to out of our anger before I left home but atleast some progress was done I don't understand the need for this -- the guy disrespected you and treated you poorly. The thought of making up? The need for progress? Good to see each other? He was cheating for 2 years. Bad mouthing you to his friends. You don't make amends with these types because the need to do so only shows them that you're desperate to be validated by them. Self-respect would mean finding your closure from within and validating from inward -- not seeking the words of a cheater and liar to make you feel better. 1
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 I don't understand the need for this -- the guy disrespected you and treated you poorly. The thought of making up? The need for progress? Good to see each other? He was cheating for 2 years. Bad mouthing you to his friends. You don't make amends with these types because the need to do so only shows them that you're desperate to be validated by them. Self-respect would mean finding your closure from within and validating from inward -- not seeking the words of a cheater and liar to make you feel better. ;( you're so right. I know I am weak minded. I caved in and I regretted it last minute. But I missed him. I'm only human. He clearly used me and knew he could get away with it and he still is using me and has control as long as he is talking to me.. I get it , I understand. Thanks for being so honest. My sister has been saying the same thing for the longest time. Maybe it takes a complete stranger to slap some sense into me...And I didn't mean make ''make progress" like we're going to get back together. I meant make progress like it's helping me move on. Even though he screwed me over, I can't stay mad forever. I got it off my chest and I'm less angry now but still very hurt . But yes I don't need validation from him. I need validation from myself that I am better then this.
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