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Wife needs space

daveG

By daveG
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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daveG New Member

daveG

Posted
Posted

Hello all,

 

My wife of 6 years told me last week that she's been unhappy for the past couple years, doesn't want to have kids anymore, and needs some space to think things through and decide if she wants to work on our marriage or get divorced. Depression and anxiety run in her family and I've noticed that she's been suffering from these symptoms for a long time and hasn't been getting help. I've definitely hurt the situation by constantly thinking and talking about the future, making plans and not living in the moment. I left the house to give her space and it's extremely difficult living without her. I know I need to give her time but I know nothing will change if she doesn't get help. I feel like she thinks that if she's on her own and leaves me that it will fix her pain. She says she loves me but isn't in love with me anymore and needs time apart.

 

how long should i giver her without calling? can I text non marriage related things? I know I probably should leave her be but in this situation where I think she's depressed I'm not sure what to do

 

any help would be greatly appreciated

kgcolonel Established Member

kgcolonel

Posted
Posted

I don't know if there's any absolute rule of thumb here however only you can determine if your good with the M or not as well. All that being said, I have seen so many times this situation is coupled with a change in life such as new job, new friends etc. Has your W had any significant lifestyle changes that you can pin point that might suggest a third party influence? Many times this is a catalyst on the "I need space" comment.

sandylee1 Established Member

sandylee1

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't contact her if I was you. She wanted space so give it to her.

 

If my husband said he wasn't in love with me anymore, I see no need for space ... as far as I'm concerned it is over. I don't take that kind of rejection well and I'm much too proud a person to hang around while my husband decides if he wants me.

 

I see you're not of that mindset so .... in your shoes if I hadn't had a response after a month, then I'd be ending it for good.

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bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

Posted
Posted

When they say the need space in my opinion it's the end. Reason being that it's the easy way to get out of the marriage.

 

What I don't understand is if she needed space then you should have told her she can have it and she move out. Why should you move and go through the hassle of uprooting so she could have space.

 

If it's me, I go back, let her know that your not going anywhere and she needs to pack a bag and go.

  • Like 1
Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

Posted
Posted (edited)

Usually separation is asked for to try out another man or prep for divorce.

 

You should never leave your home. EVER!!!!!

 

Youd better check your phone bill. Like yesterday.

 

From what you've posted there's a good chance she's in an affair.

 

Better see a lawyer pronto.

Edited by Marc878
Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

Posted
Posted

-bubbaganoosh is right if she wants space let her move out.

 

You're being played here. Better wake up

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Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
Hello all,

 

My wife of 6 years told me last week that she's been unhappy for the past couple years, doesn't want to have kids anymore, and needs some space to think things through and decide if she wants to work on our marriage or get divorced. Depression and anxiety run in her family and I've noticed that she's been suffering from these symptoms for a long time and hasn't been getting help. I've definitely hurt the situation by constantly thinking and talking about the future, making plans and not living in the moment. I left the house to give her space and it's extremely difficult living without her. I know I need to give her time but I know nothing will change if she doesn't get help. I feel like she thinks that if she's on her own and leaves me that it will fix her pain. She says she loves me but isn't in love with me anymore and needs time apart.

 

how long should i giver her without calling? can I text non marriage related things? I know I probably should leave her be but in this situation where I think she's depressed I'm not sure what to do

 

any help would be greatly appreciated

 

In these cases, there needs to be a set period of "space". 1 month is the maximum I would tolerate. You both agree to meet again on X day, at X time, at X place and prepared to talk. While you are "waiting", you evaluate for yourself whether or not this has been working for you and "where"you are on the situation.

 

However, I will say this, when someone tells me they want space, I become NASA. They can contact Houston when they figure out what their problem is and if it takes too long, they may find that they have another problem . . . I might not want them anymore. It's OK if she needs space . . . but . . .

Friskyone4u Established Member

Friskyone4u

Posted
Posted

When she gets done with her space, tell her you need her to take a polygraph to determine if "space" involved another man.

 

Most of the time this space crap means she has a guy she is having sex with that she wants you out of the way for for a while.

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