Pharoh Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 EX girlfriend of 2.5 years sent me the "happy birthday!!! hope it was a good one and hope all is well" text the other day which led to me breaking NC I was good to her, she was good to me, it was great. Talked about marriage, children, it was genuine on both sides. She eventually lost feelings and left, got back together a couple months later for short run of a few months, again nothing bad in the relationship but she left again. We've been apart for about a year and a half now. It took me a while but I went NC, blocked her social media accounts, been that way for the last 6 months and continued to work on myself. So I got the birthday text and answered it basically in the same way, wishing her well and stuff too. This led to us catching up on the basic stuff, joking around a bit, and how family and friends were doing. She said she missed them and was kinda sad. Nothing crazy and it only spanned over maybe 20 text messages. However it ended with me saying that "we shouldnt wait until birthdays to catch up like this" she agreed and smiled. And I told her not to be such a stranger anymore. She said ":) i wont be. promise." That was the end of it. Not sure why I said those things, just cause the conversation was going well. Since I had already gone that far I looked at her FB. She doesnt seem to have a BF but she does spend a lot of time with some guy friend that she may have had a fling with in the past? Both FB pages say single so idk whats going on there, its like trying to piece together a puzzle and cant get the full picture. But it did hurt when the possibility crossed my mind. I thought I was ready to be friends but obviously I'm still not over her. I'm in a much better spot than I was before NC and I'm now okay with the idea of finding a girl and dating again, whether its a new girl or somehow what my ex and I had before. I'd be okay with both scenarios i guess... Weird? The whole ordeal was short and very friendly from both sides, but so many mixed signals that i dont know how to interpret. Good? Bad? Indifferent? Inch it along a little further, what is there to lose? Let it go? So yeah I guess at this point I'm kind of in a whirlwind and need to just vent it all out.
Blanco Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 In my experience, it needs to be indifference before any real friendship is possible. I tried to be friends with one ex on and off for two years after we split. It always ended the same: Me wanting the relationship back and her having to reiterate that it just wasn't going to happen. Only when I finally let go, dropped contact for a while, and began dating again was I able to be friends with her. I'll add that my ex had, by that time, moved to another state, so being friends was way easier and it didn't complicate my new relationship. Here was my test to know I was finally over my ex and not just lying to myself: I saw a photo of her with her new boyfriend and I didn't feel anything. Not sadness. Not anger. Not even happiness. I was just looking at a picture of two people; one who I knew pretty well and the other who was a total stranger. I looked at it, felt nothing, and kept scrolling on. It was incredible. 1
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