Do guys consider that my mom is overweight?

[JanenotPlain]

This is a really shallow question. I feel terrible for asking it. I love my mom, of course. She's been pretty overweight my whole life, and I wonder if guys who date me look at her- or pictures of her on my Facebook, etc., and think- wow this is what she'll look like in 20 years. Do guys do that?

 

I'm pretty much dead-set on not ending up like her. I exercise, eat healthy, take good care of myself. Essentially all the things she doesn't do and never did. Clearly I can't stay 30 forever, and surely I'll gain some weight as I get older. But just wondering if a girl with an overweight mom is a big turnoff for guys.

 

Thanks for responses.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I'm going to be honest. Of course it is not pre-ordained that you WILL be like your mother, but genetics certainly plays a big part. You are doing all the right things. The likelihood is that your mother was not into health, staying fit. That is a more recent frame of mind. I have seen ladies on online dating put up pictures with their mothers and I have thought to myself, hmmm, I wonder if she's going to look like that when she gets older??? Of course, this is for better or for worse.

 

To answer your question. Yes, people do make comparisons to a mother or father to gauge how one may become at a later age.

[Namasteppl]

The way the mother looks is a fairly accurate measurement for how the daughter will look as she gets older.

 

Unless you stick to a strict exercise plan even after you have kids, you'll most likely end up like your mom.

[CryForNoOne]

I'm pretty much dead-set on not ending up like her. I exercise, eat healthy, take good care of myself. Essentially all the things she doesn't do and never did.

 

Ignore the other response. Keep this up and you'll be fine.

[PogoStick]

It is something I will look at and take into consideration. You're going to have some similar genetics, and you learn habits from your parents. However, I would never reject an attractive girl because of how her parents look. That's just silly.

 

There are signs of where your body is headed, just by looking at you and not your mom. If you seem to be trending in her direction I'd consider it a bad sign.

[Blanco]

You're a few steps ahead of the curve by being aware of your mother's poor lifestyle choices and being proactive yourself to avoid following a similar path.

 

Someone's mom isn't a guaranteed look at how the daughter will eventually look, though it can be a reliable indicator for reasons already covered (i.e. learned habits).

 

I once dated a beautiful young woman who wasn't fat, but a little thick. Her mom, on the other hand, was quite large. Old photos show that hadn't always been the case, but years of binging on junk food and avoiding physical activity had left her in poor health. The daughter seemed put off by it... to a small extent. I noticed she too wasn't much for physical activity and also made poor food choices on a fairly regular basis. That was about 10 years ago. I recently saw photos of her and while she's not huge, she's definitely on track to follow in her mother's footsteps.

[longjohn]

I'll be honest as s guy. I do look at ladies and their mothers and think this might be her in 20 years time. My ex wife, her mother looked good for her age kept a healthy weight exercised and so on. My ex was obsessed with being skinny to the point of it being unhealthy. My last gf exactly like her mother too, her mother was big and she started small and quickly got big, then bigger then I left her. I can't do obese or enable an addition that'll eventually kill someone.

 

The fact your aware in my mind sets you by far apart from the two ladies I've known above who went too very different ways with their weight. Enjoy food, exercise be healthy and happy. Most guys realize that not all ladies end up exactly like their parents. I didn't end up exactly like my parents.

[mortensorchid]

You don't realize how much you take after your parents either in their attitudes or dispositions. My mom is overweight, and a lot of guys look at their gfs and their gf's mothers and think "this is what my gf will look like in twenty years". They are not wrong. It's shallow, of course, but ... Facts are facts here.

 

I used to be 40 lbs heavier than I was. I woke up one day and realized that my mom started gaining weight when she was my age ten years ago. I lost it. I am very much in touch with my masculine side - I like lifting weights, karate - and not my mother. I'm tomboyish and strait. I am not my mother. And I work hard not to be like my mother in this light. You have to determine if you want to be overweight or not.

[JewelD]

Anybody looking at your parents to determine if they'd want to get hitched to you at some point is shallow anyway, so I wouldn't be worried about men looking at photos of your mom and not wanting to date you because of it.

 

and the way a parent looks is not always representative of what the child will look like at their age.

 

My mom and I look alike in the face but she is overweight. However, she's also 6 inches shorter than me. Our bodies will never look the same.

 

But eating habits tend to run in families, so if a parent eats out all the time, the kids eat out all the time and that's how they end up having the same body type. But if your eating/exercise habits are different than your mom's, there's no scientific reason that you would end up being overweight as well.

 

Although I don't think any of this matters as far as attracting men to date.

[todreaminblue]

my poor gorgeous kind hearted daughters....having a mother look like me if that is the case they should not be judged on how i look...and i guess in most ways they arent because peopel fibd it hard to believe i am their mum....just like my mum ....who also gets surprised look from people when she says i am her daughter...i really hop ethat the way i look ...doesnt affect my daughters chances.....maybe chances with the wrong types of guys though would actually be a blessing.........deb

[JanenotPlain]

It's true if a guy does judge me for that, he's maybe not the guy for me. Idk my mom's mom is and always was small and petite. My mom was tiny when she was young. She really just let herself go because of an abusive marriage and eating was her comfort system. And she never exercised or ate healthy. Some people don't need to put much effort at all into maintaining weight and some people do. I definitely do need to put effort into it, but I will do that.

[SoThatHappened]

I had a long-term girlfriend who's mom was always on the heavier side.

 

I was shallow enough to worry how my girlfriend would look at that age.

 

Then her mom decided to exercise and drop the weight. And she looked much better (and healthier) doing so.

 

As shallow as I was before, I was more impressed that my possible future mother-in-law had the desire and ambition to drop the weight. That impressed me more, and I think showed my ex how to handle losing weight if she ever wanted to in the future.

 

Now, a few extra pounds doesn't bother me. It's the fear that they end up unhealthy for lack of exercise.