goldbond Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Hi all! I am having a fair amount of anxiety over a new dating relationship I am in. I am a fairly anxious, reserved person and recently started 'exclusively dating' a person within my larger friend group. He has stated that he wants kids one day (not necessarily with me-it's just been brought up). I am pretty sure I don't. I am 28 he is 26. We have been dating/'hanging out' for maybe 5 months. I sort of feel that if we want two different things then this is likely going to end and it's not worth risking any friendships over, or that we at least need to be aware that this is likely. I am most concerned about the friends, it is hard for me to make 'real friends' or feel that I am valued in a group. I know my personality well and I tend to resort to the negative and I would take myself out of that group and probably be very avoidant if we ever split. I also just haven't been feeling it in general lately. It's been difficult for me to open up, sexually I am not just really 'there' and I don't know if it's something I should try and work through or if it's just always going to be this way for me. (Sex was great in the beginning though when we weren't exclusive) Honestly I am just not sure I am ready/healthy enough to even be a good partner for someone. Sometimes I find it hard to retain my sense of self. But he is honestly been the best person I've ever been with, he's very good to me and sweet, genuine, etc. I just don't know if these feelings are normal or not. And I feel that if I want to have a relationship one day I should get over it and learn to cope with my anxiety. I should also mention that my last relationship was super terrible/manipulative so those adapting patterns might be sneaking in a bit. Any advice appreciated
kolleamm Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Sounds like your looking for an excuse to break up with him.
Author goldbond Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 Sounds like your looking for an excuse to break up with him. I think that is what is confusing me, I don't know why I would be. He has so many qualities I want in a man and haven't found in anyone else. So why would I want to leave? I do in general prefer being alone but I imagine I would want a long, healthy relationship one day. So I just don't know. I was SO happy a few weeks ago and I'm not sure what has changed so suddenly for me.
kolleamm Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 He's attractive but not attractive enough to keep you hanging around much longer. I remember putting up a really attractive poster of a female on my wall. I couldn't take my eyes off it for weeks until one day I suddenly got bored of it. Same thing with relationships. People get bored and want variety, unless the person is super attractive.
stillafool Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 You're not feeling him anymore so break up. It's only been 5 months so don't prolong it any longer.
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