nancyha Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 So I am in a weird situation with a guy. We met through Tinder, we have gone out 6 times in the lapse of a month. I don’t really think we have that much of a connection, we haven’t had any deep or meaningful conversations, we’re basically still in the what are your hobbies kind of phase. I’m attracted to him but not crazy about him. We make out, haven’t had sex, I told him I didn’t want to on the first date and he hasn’t really tried to take it further, we just make out as if we were teenagers but we’re in our 30's. I find it a little weird that he hasn’t tried to take it further these last few dates, since some time has passed. So of course since we haven’t had any meaningful conversations, we haven’t had any talk about “us”, past relationships or anything in that area. He is almost always the one looking for me and suggesting we meet up. So, I think he’s a nice person, like to hang out and make out with him but I’m not sure I’d like anything else, so that’s why I don’t bring up any kind of “What are we doing here?” conversation because I don’t know what I’m expecting nor what I would like. And I must say he doesn’t seem like a very pro-active guy, when we go out it takes a while to decide where to and that sort of thing. Him being 36 and the guy, and me being 31, I would expect for him to more pro-active. I know he’s still active on Tinder, and that’s fine with me because I don’t even know what I want out of this. However it is getting a little weird that time passes and the “relationship” or whatever you can call it seems to be stuck and doesn’t evolve, but somehow still continues. So what are your thoughts? Should I bring up some kind of conversation, should I stop seeing him or just continue like this?
SevenCity Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 It sounds like you made up your mind but your ego is suffering because he hasn't tried again to get in your pants.
SwordofFlame Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I've been through a couple of these situations where I've been on 6-8 dates and it feels like things never progress. And well things never progressed. Either me or her decided to stop seeing each other.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Some guys are just lazy, but the lack of planning indicates his tepid interest. I think he's waiting for something else, but wanting your company until he finds that other person. Well, since he's still on Tinder, he is looking for something else. The lack of progress, even of conversation, suggests to me that he was probably not all that interested. Someone who shows genuine interest will delve deeper, he hasn't...
biker23 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Yeah. I'd say mutual tepid interest waiting for a better connection. 6 dates you should have a great idea how you want to proceed. Doesn't sound too great.
Author nancyha Posted July 25, 2016 Author Posted July 25, 2016 Thank you for your replies. I guess it it obvious there is not much interest from either way. I’m just wondering if I should let it continue this way, talk with him or end it. I think probably ending it seems like the best choice, since in the end I’m looking for something serious. I just thought in the meanwhile I could hang out with him but maybe that way I’m closing other options and losing my time.
Author nancyha Posted July 27, 2016 Author Posted July 27, 2016 Update: So after our 6th date which was the same as all the other dates, we have both stopped texting each other. Nothing bad happened on the date, we even made out and kissed good bye, but nothing special is there between us. So the day after the date I texted him, we talked for a bit and after that none of us has looked for each other again. It’s been 4 days and we had never stopped texting for this long so I’m guessing this is it. I had never been in this position where we both stop texting, it’s clear that it’s not working for either of us. Even though it’s easy to end things this way, I just feel it’s a little sad there’s no good-bye of any kind. I’m pretty sure that if I text him he’d reply. Do you think it would be out of line just to text him a sort of good-bye and say I was happy to meet him and wish him the best? After all I think he’s a nice guy and he was nice with me, so I'd like to end in friendly terms, it just didn’t work out.
joyful Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 i don't think you should text him. it would be like trying to create an emotional connection when the reason you both stopped contact and dating is because there isn't one. there is no need to say goodbye to someone you don't have the interest to say much else to...
Toodaloo Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 I don't think you should bother... Just leave it. Neither of you is all that bothered so why waste your phone bill and time? No one is hurt here.
Zahara Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 Granted you feel a little sad but that's because something/someone that you've gotten yourself familiar and comfortable with isn't there anymore. Chances are you won't be friends and in time he'll be in your distant past. Maybe you're trying to break the ice and get a reaction but best to stay quiet if you're not that interested to begin with. Just let it die a peaceful death. 1
Author nancyha Posted July 28, 2016 Author Posted July 28, 2016 Thank you for your replies, I appreciate the advice and I didn't send the text, it was a bit too much I think. Anyways, he texted me again.. I can be so dramatic Anyways, it doesn't seem like it's leading anywhere so it'll probably be over soon.
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