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Broke up with my GF of 1 year three months ago. Now she has a new man, its killing me

AmericanIdiots

By AmericanIdiots
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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AmericanIdiots New Member

AmericanIdiots

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I broke up with my ex Amanda 3 months ago because I couldn't stand the long distance relationship and I wanted to explore my options. We were together for a year. She was an amazing, beautiful woman & treated my 3 year old son like he was her own. The sex was amazing too but I was losing interest.

 

She was heartbroken about the break up and kept begging me to take her back. 4 days after the break up, I got with my ex GF Jen. Amanda was pissed and hurt. She told me I was making a mistake and that Jen didnt have any real feelings for me/ that she was just playing me. Amanda would text me nonstop saying that she loves me, misses me and can't stand that we're not together anymore. It was annoying. Then she tried to get my attention by sending me sexy pictures. The pics turned me on so bad so I asked her to hook up with me as long as she promised to not tell Jen. We fooled around 1 night (oral sex) but we didn't have sex. After that she started getting even more clingy and acted like we were still together. Jen broke up with me for another guy, turns out Amanda was right about her.

 

A few weeks after Jen broke up with me, I got with another girl Ann. I unfriended Amanda from facebook, because I wanted my new girlfriend to trust me and I didn't want her to be jealous. Amanda was hurt, but she told me she was happy for me and wished the best for me. A week later, my father informed me that Amanda had a new boyfriend (they're friends on facebook and my dad saw Amanda change her relationship status). It was like a punch to the stomach.

 

She has pics of her with her new man on his motorcycle all over her fb page. She looks sexier now and she looks so happy with him. It's killing me. She was mine once and I can't stand the thought of her being touched by another man. It just makes me so sick to my stomach.

 

I messaged her on facebook and told her I was happy for her. She thanked me and told me she was happy for me too. I had a profile pic of me with my arms around my new girl and I was hoping it would make Amanda jealous. The next day I changed my profile pic to a pic of me making out with my new girlfriend. I messaged amanda again so she would notice my new profile pic. She's usually a very jealous person and she didn't seem bothered at all! She said my new girlfriend was pretty and that I better treat her good. How do I get her attention again? My tactics to make her jealous don't seem to be working at all. I'm starting to realize what I lost and I miss her now.

 

I can't get her out of my mind

My current GF is a great woman but ever since I found out my ex has a new man I can't stop thinking about her! I'm confused and I don't know why I'm feeling so jealous?

 

1. Is it just jealousy? I heard from my friend that my ex told one of our mutual friends that her new man is "a god in bed". that was like a huge slap in the face

2. Or do I regret letting her go and maybe deep down I still love her?

 

I'm having a lot of mixed feelings right now, my new gf noticed that I seemed "off" and asked me why I was being so distant. I'm feeling a lot of hurt, anger, jealousy, and regret.

 

For anyone wondering, I'm 23 (M) and she's 25 going on 26.

Edited by AmericanIdiots
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getsmartie Established Member

getsmartie

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From what you've described you are both behaving like 16 year olds! And you have a kid? Seriously you need to grow up and start being a positive role model for your kid. From one girl to another to another.....

 

News flash!! You initiated the break up. I think you need to be alone and sort yourself out.

 

It's crazy how many people jump into the next relationship so quickly that they haven't processed what happened with their last!

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AmericanIdiots New Member

AmericanIdiots

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From what you've described you are both behaving like 16 year olds! And you have a kid? Seriously you need to grow up and start being a positive role model for your kid. From one girl to another to another.....

 

News flash!! You initiated the break up. I think you need to be alone and sort yourself out.

 

It's crazy how many people jump into the next relationship so quickly that they haven't processed what happened with their last!

 

You're right. I just can't get her out of my mind, maybe I do still love her.

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AmericanIdiots New Member

AmericanIdiots

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Do i break up with my current ex girlfriend and try to get her back? I think i still love her, and I will be good to her this time. How do i get her new man out of the picture so she can be mine again?

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AmericanIdiots New Member

AmericanIdiots

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I am serious i need her back and I will do anything to make her the happiest woman on planet. I will prove her that I will be the man she deserves. Im dying inside I just told my new girlfriend i couldn't do this. Please help me, tell me what to do to get her back.

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Ijustdon'tgetit Established Member

Ijustdon'tgetit

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I feel like I'm going to vomit after reading this thread. :mad::sick: You are selfish. Go find another person to hook up with and leave the girl you "think" you love alone. You are so self-absorbed that you allow your ego to disrespect other people's feelings. Just because you fall in and out of interest with someone does not mean you love them. :mad::sick::sick:

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LostOnes05 Established Member

LostOnes05

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Gotta agree that what you are doing is incredibly selfish. Since you don't seem to care about her, let's make it what it's about...YOU

 

1. YOU broke up with her

2. YOU initiated hookups with 2 other women

3. YOU had the opportunity to get her back before she was with someone else.

4. YOU now have a girlfriend

5. YOU want her back now because she found someone else and is happy

 

You seem to have a destructive personality. You slept with someone within the week that you broke up with her. Now you're hurt that she is happy with someone new. And you want to step back in and ruin that relationship, instead of nurturing your own.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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You are not a good prospect for any woman at the moment.

 

A person best avoided, in fact.

 

Spend some time as a single person; not dating, to sort yourself out.

 

Get some therapy and dig yourself out of the emotional chaos.

 

 

Take care.

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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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I am serious i need her back and I will do anything to make her the happiest woman on planet. I will prove her that I will be the man she deserves. Im dying inside I just told my new girlfriend i couldn't do this. Please help me, tell me what to do to get her back.

 

Funny, you had more than enough chances to do so but dumped her each and every time for someone else. All along you were doing whatever made you the happiest, at the expense of each and every woman that was around you.

 

You don't love Amanda. It's your ego. You've been deflated. You're not in control. You just can't stand the fact that she's not kissing your behind anymore.

 

Stay away from Amanda or any sort of relationship. Sort yourself out because you clearly have no concept of what genuinely loving someone means at this moment.

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GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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You don't love Amanda. It's your ego. You've been deflated. You're not in control. You just can't stand the fact that she's not kissing your behind anymore.

 

You don't want Amanda, AI. You just don't want anybody else to want her.

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AmericanIdiots New Member

AmericanIdiots

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You don't want Amanda, AI. You just don't want anybody else to want her.

 

Not true I do love her. I realized I made a mistake and I regret it very much. She was so good to my kid, spoiled him rotten, gave him love when his biological mother couldn't because she was too busy screwing around and doing drugs, and looked out for him. She's a good women and women like her aren't easy to find, and I threw that away. I will forever hate myself for that

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GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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Not true I do love her. I realized I made a mistake and I regret it very much. She was so good to my kid, spoiled him rotten, gave him love when his biological mother couldn't because she was too busy screwing around and doing drugs, and looked out for him. She's a good women and women like her aren't easy to find, and I threw that away. I will forever hate myself for that

 

 

And you came to that conclusion about the same time that you saw that Amanda found another man, right? You think there might be a connection?

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AmericanIdiots New Member

AmericanIdiots

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I will admit that I don't know how to love a woman the right way, I think this is due to the lack of attention and affection from my mother growing up. I also didn't have a good childhood, my parents were always violent and fighting

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SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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I will admit that I don't know how to love a woman the right way, I think this is due to the lack of attention and affection from my mother growing up. I also didn't have a good childhood, my parents were always violent and fighting

 

You don't and you are acting like a child (even though you have one).

 

The only reason you want her back is because she is with another guy and you can't have her. Trust me, you had plenty of opportunities to get her back and you did nothing.

 

What do you think will happen if you get her back? Do you really think you'll want her to stay? The only change is that she met someone and is happy. It wasn't until this you realized you "love" her.

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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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I will admit that I don't know how to love a woman the right way, I think this is due to the lack of attention and affection from my mother growing up. I also didn't have a good childhood, my parents were always violent and fighting

 

Then you can't trust what you're feeling right now for Amanda, can you? If you don't know how to love a woman, then what you're feeling right now isn't love -- it's your ego and the fact that you have lost control over someone that chased you with attention and affection. And now you don't have that attention and affection, you are confusing that with being in love with her. You had more than once chance and each time you blew it -- nothing much has changed.

 

Time to figure out your issues rather than rope someone back into your games.

Edited by Zahara
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LD1990 Established Member

LD1990

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You don't love her, you just loved having an admirer. If you truly loved her, you wouldn't have left her to go nail other women.

 

Leave the poor girl alone. Stop trying to interfere with her new relationship. And stop with the Facebook games to "make her jealous," that's beyond childish.

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Itspointless Established Member

Itspointless

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So you are one of those who wants what he does not have at that particular moment. Amanda now is interesting again, because she really is gone.

 

Please be alone for a while, you are hurting people doing these things.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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You're not boyfriend material whatsoever, OP.

 

You need to grow up and stop behaving like an entitled child.

 

And forget your ex - she's seen you for who you really are and she is wise to stay away. You blew this, big-time.

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sandylee1 Established Member

sandylee1

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Time for you to grow up.

Time to leave your Ex to be happy.

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Latino4Lyfe Established Member

Latino4Lyfe

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So I just read your thread and dude all I gotta say is, your actions are the reason why a lot of us are on these forums and why relationships are so messed up nowadays. I'm with everybody else here, leave Amanda alone. You had PLENTY of opportunities some of which you probably didn't even deserve and you kept saying no and leaving her behind for less.

 

Now that she finally moved on and is happy with someone that will actually treasure her, you want her back? Not happening man. Take a long hard look at your life and start stepping up. No time for all this nonsense.

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