Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 My last date turned out to be one of the worst people I've ever met. She was an acquaintance who I met at the local gym, 34. She found me on some dating profile I forgot I even had and we arranged a date. I hadn't seen her at that gym in a year, and I heard through the grapevine that she had had some kind of a falling out with some of the other regulars there who Im also acquainted with. On the date, I realized why. I think she has some really deep emotional problems related to anger. She actually teared up a few times over drinks, and then later accused me of being negative. There was a point at which she excused herself for what seemed like 30 minutes. When she finally returned, I was like, "Uh, You okay?" She never apologized. I texted her a few days later just asking how she was doing. She replied with a verse terse text saying she was leaving the state within a few weeks and would not be pursuing any sort of a relationship with me. She added that she didn't think we had anything in common and didn't like my attitude. That part was borderline hateful. I thought to myself, "Don't argue with her. Don't insult her. Don't point out that she had the manners of a farm animal. Take the high road. Just wish her well and move on." I just said, "I'm sorry you didn't enjoy my company. But I hope you are able to find some kind of happiness wherever you go from here." I've met a lot of people online who were not well balanced, but she was the worst. I made a decision recently not to date anymore, largely because of my experience with her. I really do hope she gets the help she needs. 3
Art_Critic Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Get back on that horse, stop dating because you met a basket case who was mean to you.. pfttt.. Dating is full of stumbles, don't take them so personally and next the ones who you don't match with... 2
SevenCity Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Get back on that horse, stop dating because you met a basket case who was mean to you.. pfttt.. Dating is full of stumbles, don't take them so personally and next the ones who you don't match with... Agree. Why let this nut have any impact on your life? I think you were over nice in your reply to her. Next time don't respond or say "Ok". 1
leogirl876 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Yeah dating and meeting people, especially on OLD makes you realize there's a lot of cray cray out there! There's crazy guys out there too. This guy on a second date brought up his ex and was telling me she was bipolar and then played a recording for me of her screaming at her. When I asked how he got that recording, he said he has video cameras all over his house! What the what!!! So, you're not alone, just be glad you found out early instead of months later! 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 I think you were over nice in your reply to her. Next time don't respond or say "Ok". Probably. What she said did make me angry, but I chose to take the high road. I truly believe she can't help her behavior. She may not even realize that her mind is not functioning well.
elaine567 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I think she has some really deep emotional problems related to anger. She actually teared up a few times over drinks, and then later accused me of being negative. There was a point at which she excused herself for what seemed like 30 minutes. When she finally returned, I was like, "Uh, You okay?" She never apologized. My guess is that she is tearing up as she is not over her ex, but feels she should be out there dating but is just not ready. Or she is bereaved or she is going through some other life drama. The fact she is leaving the State may be significant too. Whatever it is, she is no place to date anyone and she did the right thing by blowing you off, as the last thing YOU, or any other stable individual needs, is to get involved with her right now.
Toodaloo Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Welcome to the world we women live in when it comes to dating! This is surprisingly common. I had a chap jump up and run out once. He literally just jumped up, said "I can't do this" and ran out of the door... Guess I will pick up the bill then... There are some really weird people out there. 1
GorillaTheater Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 This is the kind of stuff to laugh about with your friends over a couple of beers, not the sort of thing to put you off dating forever or any other sort of over-reaction. And given this over-reaction, and despite her shortcomings, you may need to ask yourself whether she had a point regarding your negativity. We all have stuff that could use some work. 3
Author Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 I forgot to mention that she cursed like a sailor throughout the evening, audibly enough for people at other tables to notice. I'm not a prude, but come on.
SevenCity Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I forgot to mention that she cursed like a sailor throughout the evening, audibly enough for people at other tables to notice. I'm not a prude, but come on. And you are going to let this classless pig prevent you from getting laid? No sir! Trust me - this will make a great story for you and your friends - or even the next girl you click with.
smackie9 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I forgot to mention that she cursed like a sailor throughout the evening, audibly enough for people at other tables to notice. I'm not a prude, but come on. Ya that has mental illness written all over it....surprised she didn't stab your leg with a fork lol.
Author Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 This is the kind of stuff to laugh about with your friends over a couple of beers, not the sort of thing to put you off dating forever or any other sort of over-reaction. I'm just not meeting single people who have their sh*t together, and it bothers me. What happened with this woman was just kind of the last straw for me.
Toodaloo Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I'm just not meeting single people who have their sh*t together, and it bothers me. What happened with this woman was just kind of the last straw for me. You think its any easier for us? Trust me its not! But you do sound like you need a break before you get back on the horse so take a break then get back out there again! Just remember while we sane women are not meeting you we are meeting many crazies too!
Redhead14 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 You think its any easier for us? Trust me its not! But you do sound like you need a break before you get back on the horse so take a break then get back out there again! Just remember while we sane women are not meeting you we are meeting many crazies too! Yeah, and sometimes we are meeting men like this guy who is now turned off on all women but will go on dates just to get laid once in a while and attempt to treat us "healthy" women like crap instead of being objective and leaving the past in the past . . . the dating pool is contaminated. You're gonna find a floater once in a while :0
AMJ Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 She sounds horrible! I've had some pretty terrible OLD experiences and totally empathize. All the more reason to be highly selective when picking who to go out with...but sometimes you just never know. Don't give up. Maybe pay more attention to things like- she had a falling out with your other gym friends. If she's moving out of the state, why did she contact you for a date anyway? That's kinda weird.
Author Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 She was very beautiful physically, but just thinking about her now makes my flesh crawl. Just goes to show that looks can deceive, and it's what's inside that counts in the end.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I have come to the conclusion that so many people who OLD do so b/c they cannot relate appropriately in person. It is difficult for them to make or initiate contact, so resort to using online to help them. I met, truly, the most selfish, insensitive human being a while back. Her profile made her sound like Mother Teresa, but in person, yikes! Don't give up. Most women I have met online were quite sane.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 She was very beautiful physically, but just thinking about her now makes my flesh crawl. Just goes to show that looks can deceive, and it's what's inside that counts in the end. Familiar. That woman I dated was HOT and a nurse. She didn't have a compassionate bone in her body. Critical and shockingly didn't have her crap together, but was incredibly materialistic. I found this out during our second date... she hid things well during the first.
Imported Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) Sounds like more was riding on this than you're admitting even to yourself. Bad first date, you just move on. Who cares. You really wanted to have sex with her, but now know that is not happening and you're going through rationalizing how she is beneath you anyway. You feeling the need to swear off dating, make a post about her and dwell on it says more about you than her. Just be like, 'damn she was stupid' and move on. Out of mind, not even thinking about it, not even affected by it. And find another girl. Edited July 22, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed language
Author Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 You feeling the need to swear off dating, make a post about her and dwell on it says more about you than her. :rolleyes: Let me give you her number and let you take her out, then. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Author Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 She sounds horrible! I've had some pretty terrible OLD experiences and totally empathize. All the more reason to be highly selective when picking who to go out with...but sometimes you just never know. Don't give up. Maybe pay more attention to things like- she had a falling out with your other gym friends. If she's moving out of the state, why did she contact you for a date anyway? That's kinda weird. That's true, alienating her previous acquaintes was a red flag in retrospect. Their side of the story was that she just excommunicated them one day without explanation. It sounded odd to me, but I didn't look deeper into it.
phineas Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I'm just not meeting single people who have their sh*t together, and it bothers me. What happened with this woman was just kind of the last straw for me. Same here and I stopped dating for a bit after my last nut-job but now they don't even phase me.
Author Redguitar35 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 Trust me - this will make a great story for you and your friends - or even the next girl you click with. I actually did tell one of my close friends about it, and she was like, "What the hell?! Was she wasted??"
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