confused4awhile Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I've read a few different threads and I've got a question for all the men and women here.... My story is this- long term affair with a man who had a girlfriend. They finally break up and now he and I are "offically" together as a couple. Anymore than that said...you should read some of my posts... I was wondering this... I have yet after all this time to meet any family or friends. His family lives far away - so I understand that. But he has a grown daughter and I've NEVER met her. Well I did once for about 5 minuites but it was a few years back during a visit to his job, and she just happened to be there. And that was before the romantic stuff started or in the VERY early stages.... The daughter is from his marriage (not the girlfriend he was involved with when we met) and she is grown (21) I'm 31. He has said in the past when I've asked about meeting her that she may have issues b/c of the age thing and this is why...but I've never met any of his friends either. I've asked over and over. He talks to me on the phone around all of them- so they know I exist but outside of that .....I'm just wondering what is all of yours take on this and to ask the question.... How segregated do they keep you?
Debster Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I hate to break it to you, but generally when people are officially in a couple, they want their partner to meet their friends and family. The fact that he isn't speaks volumes IMO about his seriousness or commitment to your relationship.
Author confused4awhile Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 Thats exactally what I've been thinking and have said - which his reply is that he doesn't understand why it's such a big deal and he will introduce me ----- but after 6 months I'm still waiting
joodee Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 THAT'S MY BIG ISSUE!!!! HE KEEPS ME AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY!!! And all my friends say if they were really separated, he should have had me around his kids by now. It's total B.S. BIG red flag.........
whichwayisup Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 He isn't ready yet, he probably is too concerned what everybody (friends/family) will think. He doesn't want to be judged, or made to feel uncomfortable. Don't push the issue, the more you do, the more he'll resent it and not want to introduce you to these people. Also, you never know if some family/friends aren't interested in getting to know you. If they grew a bond with his girlfriend, they may not be ready yet, and could feel a sense of obligation to her...Who knows. Hopefully in time things will improve. You just want to make sure this doesn't go on and on and on, because if it does, his actions will show that he prefers everybody separate, and that's not fair, especially if you two are an item now.
Author confused4awhile Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup He isn't ready yet, he probably is too concerned what everybody (friends/family) will think. He doesn't want to be judged, or made to feel uncomfortable. Don't push the issue, the more you do, the more he'll resent it and not want to introduce you to these people. Also, you never know if some family/friends aren't interested in getting to know you. If they grew a bond with his girlfriend, they may not be ready yet, and could feel a sense of obligation to her...Who knows. Hopefully in time things will improve. You just want to make sure this doesn't go on and on and on, because if it does, his actions will show that he prefers everybody separate, and that's not fair, especially if you two are an item now. I've thought the same thing and I've also tried to think well since this is supposed to be a real relationship why the hell is he so concerned about what everyone else thinks. He should be more concerned about how I feel- and if his family and friends felt that way he could tell me that. I would understand. But from what I understand his friends weren't all that close to her and his family lives far away.
BoatingBabe Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by Debster I hate to break it to you, but generally when people are officially in a couple, they want their partner to meet their friends and family. The fact that he isn't speaks volumes IMO about his seriousness or commitment to your relationship. I agree.
joodee Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Westernxr, That was the most intelligent thing you've ever posted. I like that one. Very good. Straight and to the point.
Author confused4awhile Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 I wonder what really makes us feel any differently....westerner ur right
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