urmysong Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Is it cheating if you are separated and your flirting with someone online? Or in person?
kgcolonel Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 You'll likely get several differing opinions here but in my book, what is the purpose of the separation and is divorce pending and the goal? That being said, Why not just wait until things are finalized or at least communicated with the other party that either you're going to see others or you're not....communication and no hiding or misleading activities.
Lady Hamilton Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 As long as everybody in the relationship knows it's a seperation, then no. Unless it was specifically outlined "no dating," then flirting while seperated is not cheating. Though generally flirting isn't cheating anyway, IMHO, just potentially disrespectful to your partner. 3
Art_Critic Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 If the separation is because there is a pending divorce then no but if you are separated for space and are continuing to try and work it out then yes, and also counterproductive to fixing the marriage. 2
PegNosePete Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 ... why does it matter? You should live your life with good morals and values, not dictionary definitions. If you're happy that you're not causing anyone harm or distress, then go ahead. 1
Cephalopod Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 If you are separated informally for the sake of giving each other space with the intent to work on the marriage, then yes it is cheating. If you are legally separated and filing for divorce and the marriage is over in all ways except for the official paperwork to be processed, then I would say no... unless you and your spouse made an agreement not to date before the divorce decree goes through. If such an agreement twas made, and you violate that or ignore it, then yes it is cheating.
Author urmysong Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 At first, he said "yes indeed seems like our conflicts is unsolvable but please let's just give sometimes for the emotions to get out of the game". But after 1 week, he emailed "that we will separate and that please don't ask me to change his mind cause it is his final decision. That he will keep supporting his supporting his son. That hopefully we can still be good friends in the future and respect each other than living as a couple. That please understand that we are not lovers anymore and never will be again. I will never love You again, it's just doesn't simply work like that." That's all what he said. So am I cheating? what should I do? Move on Cause he meant all that? Or is there still any chance to reconcile? I don't know what to think. This is my first relationship...
elaine567 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 At first, he said "yes indeed seems like our conflicts is unsolvable but please let's just give sometimes for the emotions to get out of the game". But after 1 week, he emailed "that we will separate and that please don't ask me to change his mind cause it is his final decision. That he will keep supporting his supporting his son. That hopefully we can still be good friends in the future and respect each other than living as a couple. That please understand that we are not lovers anymore and never will be again. I will never love You again, it's just doesn't simply work like that." Sounds like he is making it clear to you that he is done. However, if he has a habit of saying such things, then changing his mind, you could ask for clarity and ask if that means you are both free to see other people. In any separation situation it is always best to sort that out, as it can prevent a lot of heart ache later, if one thinks they are a free agent and the other thinks they are merely taking a break with the goal of fixing their relationship.
Author urmysong Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 This is the second time he tell me that. When he said to me to go for labiaplasty and I did not want to cause I am afraid of any operations. He said then we will separate. I was very afraid that he will do that so I did went for labiaplasty. I asked him, You will really separate from me if I did not go? He said no, of course. I just want You to realize what I want.
elaine567 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 This is the second time he tell me that. When he said to me to go for labiaplasty and I did not want to cause I am afraid of any operations. He said then we will separate. I was very afraid that he will do that so I did went for labiaplasty. I asked him, You will really separate from me if I did not go? He said no, of course. I just want You to realize what I want. Pardon!!! He told you to get a Labiaplasty, and you got it done???? RUN fast and don't look back.
Author urmysong Posted July 24, 2016 Author Posted July 24, 2016 Yes I got it done cause I was afraid he will leave me. That was after a baby. After a year. So that was red flag?
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