UFOUREAH Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 My g/f left me almost 3 months ago mostly because it was my fault.. since our break-up I have been diagnosed with AD/HD which is helping ,me with impulse control and staying calmer and focussing. I have lost 25 lbs, made new friends and I look and feel great. We are going for lunch today.. she said in the past she wanted to be friends and maybe we could have more later. but she wanted to work on trust.. What in G'd's name do we talk about.. I have never done this before and have never attempted to go back with an ex as friends.. please help.. the date is in 3 hours.. Iam on Ritalin and better. Thank you. Iam a woman too. D...
westernxer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Who knows what you should talk about... just be yourself, that's all. If it flows, it flows.
Merin Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Well unless I'm missing something here, is this really a *Date* or having lunch with a FRIEND? You said your EX was wanting to remain Friends right? So did she give you the indication this was a date to rekindle something between the 2 of you OR was this set up so the 2 of you can catch up and attempt to salvage a friendship IMO If it wasn't made clear that this is a *Date* and not just friends getting together for lunch I would say this could hurt a lil... you seem like you're still hung up on her and if she hasn't expressed an interest in trying again.. well it could hurt. Keep the conversation light.. don't start talking about the past relationship, or asking a bunch of questions regarding who she's seeing... Good Luck
Author UFOUREAH Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 well we had a whirlwind relationship (1.5 years) and we were committed to be together forever. she had planned on that too, but I did something in a rage that made her run away. she did say a couple of weeks ago that if she knew I was going to make so many changes, she probably would not have made such a drastic decision, but she has a 14 year old and she had to do it.. She wants to work on a fiendship, since we never really had one. Nothing was aid about getting back together. My question is now.. I am not expecting anything. she was made aware of my AD/HD status and her son has it so she knows the impulse control issues etc. I know I made a mistake and meds are not a cure all, Iam doing behaviour management, anger management and Iam learning to cope with all aspects of life. It is amazing how well I feel and how good I look. Iam so lucky she is still speaking to me. So what do we talk about? I am going in with no expectations, but yes she is the love of my life and I wish in time we can continue to do more stuff and learn about each other the right way. we never did that. I have never been on a date that was not sexually motivated or interested. Iam 41 and now that I have been on meds, Iam less anxious, Iam calm and I can wait for what is to come. Thank you..so give me some ideas... She wanted to go kayaking last weekend but was sick, can I ask her if she wants to go this Sunday or is that too much? D
Merin Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Again I would try to keep this light and fun.. not to serious or deep. I can't see why you couldn't ask her to go Kayaking this Sunday.. seems okay to me.. Ask her about her Son.. how he is, what he's up to this summer.. Ask her about her job.. how that's going for her.. Things that aren't threatening or would make her feel pressured.
Author UFOUREAH Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 went to lunch.. she wAS CHECking me out told me how good I looked. I looked her in the eyes she looked away. she was breathing vreally weird, like she was uncomfortable.. very weird. I kept it together.. I said at one point.. shouldn't we get you back and she said.. oh not yet, I have time.. and then I finally after 10 minutesd saud.. I have got to go. At her job I gave her a hug and she hugged me but kindbacked away and she walked into her work like she had it together but I know she was dying.. Iam a changed person.. Iam so glad I went she has not done a thing for herself and that makes me sad, But Iam doing for me and she looks different now. Now that iam on meds, iam not so scattered and Iam in control.. It feels good. the ball is in my court now, she is stuck in avoidance. why do I want to be with anyone who doesn't think they are wortyh taking care of themselstuff. I knowves. She is hanging out with this girl from work and she is trying really hard to get me to be jealous. unfortunately she is not succeeding. Oh well. she has a few friends who are telling her all kinds of stuff. I know how she feels. she'll just have to live with it forever. D...
Recommended Posts