elaine567 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 But do you think its necessarily a bad sign that she posted that? Nothing good from that at all? Well, she is not posting about the possibility of a new love with those words is she?
Marc878 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 She's young people have breakups. Who knows. If it were me once she left I'd ask her out. You are way over analyzing this. So what if nothing comes of it. Better to have tried than to set back and wonder if you should have. It's a date. People go out all the time. Ask yourself this. What is there to lose? Answer: nothing
Author brianls Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 I'm just worried that all these signs or good vibes i've been getting from her has been genuine or not.
elaine567 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Maybe in one of your chats bring up the ex nonchalantly and if she goes into raptures about him you will have your answer, and if she tells you he is out of the picture you can then just ask her out.
Author brianls Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 Maybe in one of your chats bring up the ex nonchalantly and if she goes into raptures about him you will have your answer, and if she tells you he is out of the picture you can then just ask her out. The day she told me he reached out she also told me she's done with him and agreed with me that it's in the past and should stay there.
elaine567 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 The day she told me he reached out she also told me she's done with him and agreed with me that it's in the past and should stay there. But that I presume was before the romantic prose on FB.
Author brianls Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 Yeah this was her first romantic fb post. She went to universal studios this weekend and she has old pictures of her and her ex when they went to universal studios together before they broke up. But she has always told me shes gone to universal with her friends when telling me about her experiences there. Never has she said "with my ex" or anything.
Author brianls Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 I asked her out for this weekend to the movies and today I added to the date and asked her if she'd want to get dinner too. she said she's always down for food. So now i'm thinking about if I should pull moves on her? Movie first, then dinner, then by then I would have hoped to have warmed her up for at least a kiss. SO TWO THINGS: 1) What are the best ways to sway a date into that direction? i'm usually good at this but I just want some extra pointers. 2) I feel like she has an eye for a fellow co-worker. I could be paranoid. but she stares at him a lot and asks him questions for conversation when he's around. Should I be worried? or am I stressing over nothing since she already is going to go out with me this weekend.
Marc878 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Look good, smell good (don't overuse cologne - one spray to the chest and one for face/neck) Be yourself and listen to her. Ask some light questions about her. I wouldn't put a move on her on a first date. Just see how she responds.
Marc878 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 It's a date quit over analyzing it and just be cool and calm.
Author brianls Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 my coworker also has a girlfriend* and she knows that. I forgot to add that to the above post. I agree to pulling a move. Is it really a rule of thumb to ALWAYS try for a kiss on the first date? To break any chance of "friend zone" stigma. I have a couple settings for our date. 1st theres a theatre that offers food while you watch a movie. very unique and cool. but that would be it. The date would be over after the movie. 2nd scenario would be a movie at a really fancy theatre with amazing reclining chairs at a mall. Then dinner at the mall after. But it's far away from where we live and would be a decent drive (30 minutes each way) but could make for good conversation time? 3rd scenario would be at the theatre down the road from my condo (5 minutes walk) Which is also right next to all the bars and restaurants and if things go well I can possibly show her my place after? too soon for a first date to do that?
mortensorchid Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I went there briefly. As some may or may not recall, and not to be redundant, but I sent the hot math teacher a text a few days after I was no longer working at the same school and asked "Want to hang out?". He texted back "I am not interested in you romantically." I straitened my cuffs and texted back "Well love makes you fat, doesn't it?". Erased his number / thread and there has been no contact since. I felt foolish. I said NEVER AGAIN and thus far has stood. But onto yours ... I have this to say ... 1) You like her - This is obvious. And if you don't reciprocate it, you will loose her. 2) Temp job - You said that she will not be working at your office after a certain point. This is THE BEST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN, once she is no longer working there you're good to go. 3) Permanent job - If she was a permanent employee, I would say "No way." Not just of the fear of rejection, but you will see each other everyday and there will be no mystery about anyone or anything about you. But remember this fact - you will remain there so don't talk about it with others in the same office. The last thing you want is a coworker as a friend who knows things about you and your outside life. That's another set of my rules/codes I won't bore you with. Once she's gone - GO FOR IT. 1
thecrucible Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I forgot to add that to the above post. I agree to pulling a move. Is it really a rule of thumb to ALWAYS try for a kiss on the first date? To break any chance of "friend zone" stigma. Just basing this on my own subjective experience, but I don't think it's good to have blanket rules about dates. You know when it feels right and when it does feel right, I would not hesitate to make a move. That's all I'd say. I've definitely been on dates with men who seemed to have a set plan and it felt somewhat disconnected (the guy would make a move when there wasn't the right vibe and it didn't feel like he was really 'there'). It's hard to describe. Try not to overthink it and focus more on creating a connection between the two of you than worrying about whether you are doing things right. I have a couple settings for our date. 1st theres a theatre that offers food while you watch a movie. very unique and cool. but that would be it. The date would be over after the movie. 2nd scenario would be a movie at a really fancy theatre with amazing reclining chairs at a mall. Then dinner at the mall after. But it's far away from where we live and would be a decent drive (30 minutes each way) but could make for good conversation time? 3rd scenario would be at the theatre down the road from my condo (5 minutes walk) Which is also right next to all the bars and restaurants and if things go well I can possibly show her my place after? too soon for a first date to do that? The first venue sounds good though - I assume if food is served, there's a fairly laid back atmosphere and some opportunity to talk? I would hold off on showing your apartment too quickly unless the right kind of vibe. If a guy said that to me, even if I didn't think he was the type, I'd wonder why he'd want me in his place so quickly. You might consider getting food and then theatre?
thecrucible Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I went there briefly. As some may or may not recall, and not to be redundant, but I sent the hot math teacher a text a few days after I was no longer working at the same school and asked "Want to hang out?". He texted back "I am not interested in you romantically." I straitened my cuffs and texted back "Well love makes you fat, doesn't it?". Erased his number / thread and there has been no contact since. I felt foolish. I said NEVER AGAIN and thus far has stood. Aw I know how you feel. I tried this recently and kind of fell flat on my face. I don't work at the same venue as him but we work for the same charity so I still come into contact with him. haha oh dear! I have the same mindset as you now but I think it's good that I tried because I learned something from it. Like you, probably never again. Temp job - You said that she will not be working at your office after a certain point. This is THE BEST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN, once she is no longer working there you're good to go. Yes! A much less likely chance of something embarrassing happening like having to see them everyday and feeling awkward. This happened to my friend. She has a bf now so it doesn't matter to her anymore.
Author brianls Posted August 10, 2016 Author Posted August 10, 2016 Ok so it's supposed to be a crap show this weekend (thunderstorms). I was thinking of switching my date setting from a movie to something else. The reason why is because I feel like a movie there's no time to really talk or get close or build any kind of "chemistry". But since its going to rain I guess there's no other options. I know she is a home body and so am I. I honestly wouldn't mind lounging in my apartment watching tv or playing video games (which is something she loves doing) but idk if that's too soon for a first date. Any other pointers or date ideas I can think of that will give the perfect opportunity to build chemistry?
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