Kirsty_83 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Hey guys, Okay. long story short - have been in contact with my ex for the last 3 months after I reached out, in some sort of attempt for closure, but since we have remained in touch since March, that didn't happen. Anyway, we were together for almost 3 years until he cheated on me with his now wife. His wife knows nothing about our contact and for that reason I can only contact him on his work email. The contact has been generally friendly and chatty, he has talked about his wife - moaned about her quite a bit to me. We have exchanged photos (not those sorts of photos), but general photos of what's we've been up to and such. He has been complimentary in some of his emails, last week said I was adorable and he thought my body was looking "real good". It made me feel good, boosted my confidence a bit of course. I started to feel a little something for him again and that made me obsess and become consumed by him which wasn't good. I feel he played on that for sure. He wastes no time in telling me about who's hitting on him and his flirtations with his work colleague, going as far to say they are touchy feely with one another and they share lots of innuendos etc. He has mentioned this to me on more than one occasion which I think is going a bit far. I stupidly sent him a birthday card (it's his birthday tomorrow). He got it, acknowledged it and thanked me as he thought it was very sweet of me. The last email I had was on Tuesday, I since emailed him back, asked him what he's up to on his birthday, told him when I was going away to Thailand (which he previously knew about), but no reply. He's off work tomorrow for his birthday and he knows I leave on Tuesday. Stupidly I thought he'd reply to me before he finished up work but he hasn't. I've been told he is playing games with me, which is definitely what it's beginning to feel like now. I feel like sending an email telling him what an arse he is but that will just show him that he's getting to me. Thoughts please?
Zahara Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 What?! So he cheated on you with his now wife. Now he's cheating on his wife with god knows who else and flirting with you. And you want to tell him what an arse he is? Where is your self-respect? 4
Lobe Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 I've been told he is playing games with me, which is definitely what it's beginning to feel like now. I feel like sending an email telling him what an arse he is but that will just show him that he's getting to me. Thoughts please? He's using you for ego kibbles. Possibly grooming you for an affair and thinking you might be game because you have a score to settle or something. You already know he isn't loyal. Don't believe a word he says about his wife and don't let your heart engage in a relationship with a married man - it just spells disaster. The fact you're already "hidden" from his wife is great cause for concern. Let him fade away while you're in Thailand and be nothing but a distant memory when you get back. Haul ass outta there. My two bitz. 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 My goodness what a hot mess that dude is. And you are enjoying his phoney balogny lines why? He's clearly out to get some and you are putty in his hands., you know it's lead g to that whether you allow it or not. Look not gonna sugar coat it, it will do you no good, yes he is playing with you. Why in the world would you even want to be in contact with someone like that!?!
stillafool Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 To answer your question yes he's using you for valadation and to boost his ego. He and his wife may be having problems so he''s talking to other women, not just you. When they make up you won't hear from him again until they fight. Why would you get back involved with a guy who would treat you this way?
Author Kirsty_83 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 (edited) Hi, Posted on here not too long ago about my communications with my ex during the last 4 months. He cheated on me with his now wife, I was broken hearted and left in a bad way after the break up but I decided to reach it to him back in March to clear the slate. Anyway, can only email him at work, doesn't take a genius to work out why. Last 3-4 weeks his emails have been few and far between, usually won't get any reply to my message until a week or so later. i have slowly reduced my contact as a result. Received this earlier from him: Hey, I’m writing this to you really quickly just to let you know that you haven’t been forgotten about you. Had a bit of a mishap this week and my emails have now been compromised. Supervisor has been back and forth to my desk to “investigate” something. It’s all strictly work related but until the buzz dies down, I can’t and don’t want my personal emails popping up. I’ve already deleted all of our exchanges unfortunately BUT I promise I’ll get back to you hopefully by next week. I’m just a little on edge until then and have to lay low with everything. But I am okay and I’m so sorry I haven’t been in touch. I will be soon. Have yourself a fantastic weekend if I do not speak to you before then! The fact that he has deleted all my emails and says he's on edge and needs to lay low, says it all really. What are your thoughts on this message? Edited July 21, 2016 by Kirsty_83
Redhead14 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Hi, Posted on here not too long ago about my communications with my ex during the last 4 months. He cheated on me with his now wife, I was broken hearted and left in a bad way after the break up but I decided to reach it to him back in March to clear the slate. Anyway, can only email him at work, doesn't take a genius to work out why. Last 3-4 weeks his emails have been few and far between, usually won't get any reply to my message until a week or so later. i have slowly reduced my contact as a result. Received this earlier from him: Hey, I’m writing this to you really quickly just to let you know that you haven’t been forgotten about you. Had a bit of a mishap this week and my emails have now been compromised. Supervisor has been back and forth to my desk to “investigate” something. It’s all strictly work related but until the buzz dies down, I can’t and don’t want my personal emails popping up. I’ve already deleted all of our exchanges unfortunately BUT I promise I’ll get back to you hopefully by next week. I’m just a little on edge until then and have to lay low with everything. But I am okay and I’m so sorry I haven’t been in touch. I will be soon. Have yourself a fantastic weekend if I do not speak to you before then! The fact that he has deleted all my emails and says he's on edge and needs to lay low, says it all really. What are your thoughts on this message? Had a bit of a mishap this week -- what about the 3 weeks prior? He's just "testing the waters" to see if you're still "there" so that when he doesn't have any other options, he can come to you and still get what he "needs". He's married and a douche. Find yourself a real man who can be there for you all the time. You don't have to be anyone's side-dish. 1
Toodaloo Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Oh blimey. He is trying to be "nice" and keep you sweet while at the same time saying buggar off and no I don't want to keep in touch so I am not unblocking you. Leave him be and do not bother replying. He is married to someone else now so just get on with your own life. 1
Zahara Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 (edited) So, this is the guy that cheated on you with now wife. And in your previous thread, you mentioned that he now flirts with you and has no issues telling you that he flirts with other work colleagues and that he's even touchy feely with one -- he's being watched because he's doing this quite a lot of this at work. He's being monitored now and who knows, he's probably talking to women outside of work. Maybe the wife is also aware. He's married. He's a cheater. In your past thread you also said he makes you feel good with his compliments -- focus on seeking internal validation rather than settling for this. You deserve better. Edited July 21, 2016 by Zahara 1
PinkSunset Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Why is it that you feel the need to continue to communicate with someone who previously cheated on you, who is married and flirting behind his wife's back, who is flirting with coworkers and being inappropriate? Are you looking for some kind of validity here? I'm no saint and have no business being a hypocrite when it comes to married men but honestly just walk away and find someone who is single. This guy is a douche.
Traceycprc Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Have some self respect and a backbone and just don't contact him again. What do you hope to achieve? That ship has sailed, he is married, move on concentrate on someone that is interested in you.
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