Poetical88 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Hi, I'm gonna keep this as short as possible, but i'm not promising There is this girl i love, i'm 20 she is 24, we met through a class in college, she's graduated now, we've known each other for 7 months now, first couple of months we weren't so close after some time we started getting closer and closer. Back in march she proposed me to go to another country(Italy) with her for holiday in summer, i was thrilled by the idea not just because of her but i really love travelling and since we get along really well it was set up. Now here's the problem, back in May, i couldn't take it anymore and decided to tell her my feelings, since i'm a poet, one time when we were at a coffee shop i brought up the subject that i was about to publish a book and that moment i told her "i wrote you a poem, too." she was shocked i could see it in her eyes but it wasn't a "really happy" shock, she didn't know what to say, i was bummed up too, all she asked was, for how long was i writing poems, after that she said we should go, then we left. She just left me hangin', she didn't give me the " let's just be friends" speech or anything she just let it hang in the air. I took that as a rejection and swallowed it. 1 week of no contact she contacted me, we meet up again and we didn't make a deal out of it, and i'm a mature person i wouldn't do that to her anyways. In June for 2 weeks we travelled had fun, we stayed in different rooms btw. There were times where she would ****-test me about other guys which i passed like a boss, in 2 weeks she only did that twice, so i don't think it's a huge deal. that 2 weeks was amazing for both of us. After we get back we became even closer, we meet up alot, btw i must say since we known each other, she never brought a third wheel to our dates, not even once. It's always just the two of us. She doesn't act like i'm her gay friend, when she touches me it's like flirting, she doesn't go "extremely" touchy, so i guess that's a good sign. she doesn't talk about other guys, she invited me to her house twice and said she enjoys my company, she tells things like "live with me and see the world" "stick with me, we can travel the world" she asks my opinions on some matters. Now you can say, dude you've been to her house and nothing happened you're friendzoned, but i must say she isn't that type of a girl, i know. cuz she didn't even dated anyone since i've known her. The way i see it is, i think at first, she was worried about the age gap, since things got serious and i'm in the eve of publishing a book at the age of 20, i will no longer rely on my dad, i will be making my own money etc. so she started changing, she used to tease me like hey you're still young etc, she doesn't do them anymore, what bothers me is that why did she left me hanging when i told her i've written her a love poem which she read and knows really well, is she saving me or is she just "immature" or is she trying to get to know me better? or am i dead in the friendzone? if i'm friendzoned why was she scared of giving me the "we're friends speech" i mean i love being friends with her too, i wouldn't want to lose her but it's getting a bit harder for me. what do you guys think i should do? find another girl or tell her again about my feelings and demand an answer? thank you for reading.
smudge21 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 It sounds like you stepped up to try and take things further but then backed down and agreed to this 'relationship' running at her terms. Why tell her how you feel if you're not going to see it through. Basically you were after a proper relationship but didn't force it that way. I would imagine she's now thinking you're happy with the way things are. If you still want more than you have to honest with yourself and be prepared to lose her forever. It's a jump in feet first situation, all or nothing.
salparadise Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 what bothers me is that why did she left me hanging when i told her i've written her a love poem which she read and knows really well, is she saving me or is she just "immature" or is she trying to get to know me better? or am i dead in the friendzone? So what do you expect her to do... throw you on the bed and jump on top? Dude, you have to man up and take the lead! Based on what you've said, it seems like she's green lighted you but you've been waiting and hoping for her to do or say something explicit. Maybe it's because she's older or maybe you just don't know how, but for some reason you're looking to her to make a decision about you and express it in no uncertain terms before you can do anything. You have to take a chance and turn this into a romance. What should you do... get in touch with your dominant side, back her up against a wall and kiss her like you mean it! I can't believe that you've been in love with her all this time, gone traveling and all of that and still haven't even kissed her! She's 24, and my guess is that she's more than ripe for the picking, and probably more confounded than you are as to why it isn't happening. Have you ever put the moves on a woman before? It's time.
Author Poetical88 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 It sounds like you stepped up to try and take things further but then backed down and agreed to this 'relationship' running at her terms. Why tell her how you feel if you're not going to see it through. Basically you were after a proper relationship but didn't force it that way. I would imagine she's now thinking you're happy with the way things are. If you still want more than you have to honest with yourself and be prepared to lose her forever. It's a jump in feet first situation, all or nothing. You're right and the only problem that i can't solve in my head is "do i want to lose her" because i know if i find another girl i can move on from this girl emotionally and just be firends at "my terms" but losing her right now is not something i would want because we get along really really well and i mean it when i say it. all i need to do is to figure out how to move on without completely losing her and like i said i don't even know if i'm friendzoned or not. i don't know man, i really don't know and this situation is messed up maybe one day i will have the courage to ask her again. So what do you expect her to do... throw you on the bed and jump on top? Dude, you have to man up and take the lead! Based on what you've said, it seems like she's green lighted you but you've been waiting and hoping for her to do or say something explicit. Maybe it's because she's older or maybe you just don't know how, but for some reason you're looking to her to make a decision about you and express it in no uncertain terms before you can do anything. You have to take a chance and turn this into a romance. What should you do... get in touch with your dominant side, back her up against a wall and kiss her like you mean it! I can't believe that you've been in love with her all this time, gone traveling and all of that and still haven't even kissed her! She's 24, and my guess is that she's more than ripe for the picking, and probably more confounded than you are as to why it isn't happening. Have you ever put the moves on a woman before? It's time. I think you misunderstand what i said, this wasn't about taking the lead, i've been taking the lead this whole time but just put yourself in my shoes you tell a girl you like her and she doesn't even say anything about it. Now kiss her and what? she'd just slap me and show me the frickin way out the door, i wouldn't want things to end like this, it's just degrading for me. i like her yes, hell i love this girl, but i'm not the type of guy who would crush his dignity for some girl, girls come and go i know that, if i would meet another girl right now that i can get along well, i would date her in a heartbeat. i don't have one-itis for this one, it's just the situation that i am in makes me wanna punch myself, i just can't figure this girl, maybe she was just immature or scared to hurt me when she didn't say anything about my confession to her. i don't know, i guess time is the answer.
preraph Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 This is just one more reason why instead of talking or passing notes or poems, you SHOW a woman you want to be romantic by trying to kiss her. If she slaps you, at least you won't be wasting any more time. Whatever will be will be. If she's going to reject you, it's coming at some point because you're just going to let it eek out until she has to shoot you down. But you have NO CHANCE of getting romantic with her if you don't man up and at least work in a kiss after the hug at the end of the night. No woman is attracted to fear.
IslandDude Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Kiss her. Really that's all you have to do. Kiss her and you will get your answer. It could make your whole life or it could show you that you need to move on. Waiting longer and longer isn't helping you either way.
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