Totallyconfusedfla Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 So, I dated a man for 6 months. We were both divorced for about 2 years when we met. The relationship went great, he said I made him incredibly happy, best sex he ever had, called every night, and initiated exclusivity and being my boyfriend. He also told me his friends loved me etc. He took me on a trip for a week to the bahamas with two other couples. We have a fabulous time. He paid for the whole thing. This guy would kiss me like crazy. Was always happy to see me. And we always had a blast together. Not even one fight. We get home. Boom, he says he's not ready. And acts like the relationship was no big deal, like he never cared. I was devestated. He did tell me that I was a real woman, taught him to trust and mended his heart. I find out two months later he is fb official with a girl who is 25 (he is 40, I'm 33). She has a kid and lives with her parents. He doesn't want kids at all. This girl is very pretty, but so am I. She seems to be everything he was not wanting, or so he told me. So what the hell. Why would a man go to all that for one woman, claim to be happy, and seemed to be. And then out of nowhere drop her for the opposite? Also last week I saw he still has an online dating profile he checks every once in a while? Plus, a successful 40 year old who doesn't want kids dating a 25 year old single mom living with her parents?
Sunkissedpatio Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Sounds like mid life crisis. He hit the jackpot when he met you, 8 years younger but hit the big win when he meets the 25 year old. In his 18 year old head of course... He did tell me that I was a real woman, taught him to trust and mended his heart. This stood out for me. Mended his heart from what? Gee thanks "for telling me I was good enough to get you back on your feet and then you can get rid of me when you can stand tall again" Sounds like he told you are lot of lies. I'm sorry. 3
Author Totallyconfusedfla Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 Mended his heart from the divorce I think. But broke mine and now I'm afraid to trust. Plus he put so much effort into me. And I always showed him appreciation and reciprocated. And yes, gee thanks, dump the girl that teaches you to trust and mends your heart. And makes you happy. ..grrr
Sunkissedpatio Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 So many questions Totallyconfused, that without knowing more it's hard to tell what drove him. did he have other rels in those two years prior? Why did he divorce? You found out about the younger woman through FB, did he FB official your rel too when you became exclusive? How long was he married for? He sound like he might still be rebounding even after 2 years. 1
Author Totallyconfusedfla Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 The divorce he said because she was very controlling and he was miserable. 10 years together. No no fb official for us. But I never put that on my fb because I just never thought about it, I'm sure he would have. But I met all his friends. And often and he called me his gf, and so did they. His family knew about me. He had one short relationship, 2 months after his divorce, he said he wasnt ready then and ended it and she was very upset...so there is that. He was single for about a year before me, but dating women all the time. We became exclusive pretty fast, maybe a month, and then at about three he dropped the relationship girlfriend thing. I never pressured him. There was no warning.
Author Totallyconfusedfla Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 What kills me is how he said in the end maybe I'm making a mistake but I know I just can't give you my all. Then you're a real woman etc. Plus the girl being 25 and with a kid, that he doesn't want nor does he really do well with.
Sunkissedpatio Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 What kills me is how he said in the end maybe I'm making a mistake but I know I just can't give you my all. This ^ you need to heed those words. I'm so sorry to say this but it does sound like he was totally infatuated with you and rushed to make it official and then realized he really wasn't as emotionally invested as he thought he was. It sounds like he wasn't honest with you. I'm sorry...
Author Totallyconfusedfla Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 Yes very true. Thank you. Plus he still checks a dating site from time to time. Even having a pro file up is a heck no for me. So in the end, she can have him. A guy that doesn't know what the hell he wants.
Redhead14 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 So, I dated a man for 6 months. We were both divorced for about 2 years when we met. The relationship went great, he said I made him incredibly happy, best sex he ever had, called every night, and initiated exclusivity and being my boyfriend. He also told me his friends loved me etc. He took me on a trip for a week to the bahamas with two other couples. We have a fabulous time. He paid for the whole thing. This guy would kiss me like crazy. Was always happy to see me. And we always had a blast together. Not even one fight. We get home. Boom, he says he's not ready. And acts like the relationship was no big deal, like he never cared. I was devestated. He did tell me that I was a real woman, taught him to trust and mended his heart. I find out two months later he is fb official with a girl who is 25 (he is 40, I'm 33). She has a kid and lives with her parents. He doesn't want kids at all. This girl is very pretty, but so am I. She seems to be everything he was not wanting, or so he told me. So what the hell. Why would a man go to all that for one woman, claim to be happy, and seemed to be. And then out of nowhere drop her for the opposite? Also last week I saw he still has an online dating profile he checks every once in a while? Plus, a successful 40 year old who doesn't want kids dating a 25 year old single mom living with her parents? Sometimes a guy just wants to date casually, goes through a "dry" spell, has a woman that they do really like and will ride it out until another one comes along, plain and simple. Some guys can do that for quite some time. She's good enough for now . . . There is a guy that I call "The Quality Casual Guy". They really like a woman, will treat her like a girlfriend, do all the right things, say all the right things, but really doesn't want a life long relationship. When it starts getting too serious, he bails. He'll probably do this with this "new" girl -- assuming he wasn't seeing her before he ended things with you . . . They like the test drive, but they never buy the car . . .
BenDamage Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 God, do I know how this feels. Kind of in reverse though. I'm a 26 year old male who dated a 37 year old female. At first she was head over heels for me. Couldn't get enough of me. Doted on me, helped me get my license, we went to Disney World together for my first time, took several vacations together, the sex was amazing and non-stop on both ends and we just couldn't stand being away from one another for 4 years. All of a sudden one day she just said she wasn't emotionally invested in our relationship any more and that she just couldn't handle my issues and moved on. She started dating a 36 year old man she used to go high school with 2 weeks later and apparently she's all about him because I hardly hear from her and she won't let me see her. It's been very rough for me, being seduced and coddled by an older woman with more experience in life. I'm gonna say the best advice at this point that everyone keeps giving me is just go ahead and pick up the pieces and move on with your life. If they truly cared about you and loved you, they'd be with you right now. I guess both your guy and my girl have a bad case of GIGS and think they can do better elsewhere, and that's something you need. If they'll do it once, they'll do it again.
Bialy Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 He left you for a 25 year old mom who lives with her parents? He needs help.
DKT3 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Here is what could have happened. The guy was into you, really enjoyed having you around and during the trip realized that it maybe a real relationship. He panicked, and ran. With a 25 year old living with her parents and having a kid that he says he never wanted makes her safe. No real risk of getting a deeper connection.
Author Totallyconfusedfla Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 Thank you all. The scary thing was he wanted the relationship, it was zero preassure from my side. And we were really happy, he always told me, you make me so happy. So I don't know what else anybody wants. But it happened it's done, and someone else is surely on the way.
SevenCity Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Here is what could have happened. The guy was into you, really enjoyed having you around and during the trip realized that it maybe a real relationship. He panicked, and ran. With a 25 year old living with her parents and having a kid that he says he never wanted makes her safe. No real risk of getting a deeper connection. I could see this. I've never run from a girl I liked but have gotten into many dead end RLs because I knew I would not get hurt.
SoThatHappened Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 He may be the type of guy who needs to "save" a girl and be her white knight. You are probably not needy enough for him or rely enough on him. Those are his shortcomings. 1
stillafool Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 I think this guy just likes the fact that he can get a 25 year old and is still looking for probably someone younger.
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