lily999 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 I have had casual relationship with a guy for half a year. I think he just used me for sex and we weren't dating. We talked about entering into a relationship but it never happened. He blew me off twice for another woman( He never admitted he has another agirl but I found out he has one). I got pissed off and refused to see him again. He insisted on meeting me again and I met him eventually last weekend. we hadn't met for a month by that time. When he saw me, he held me so tight and kissed me passionately and kept saying sorry to me. He said he liked me a lot better because he had butterflies when he saw me Was it sign that he really liked me or just wanted to have sex with me again?
gorf Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 casual relationship with a guy for half a year I think he just used me for sex and we weren't dating. We talked about entering into a relationship but it never happened. He blew me off twice for another woman He said he liked me a lot better because he had butterflies when he saw me The writing is on the wall darling. You said it yourself. You knew from the start it was casual. He did to.. believe me. You went with your gut on that cause you suspected him possibly only using you for sex. You even confirmed that when talking about furthering the relationship but it never happened. He fooled around twice (that you know of) and showed what respect he has or what you mean to him. Then when he got bored he came crawing back cause you were a better sex option. Its really sad that some people treat others this way, but you are better off knowing. I would say run for the wind, this guy has made it clear what he is after, unless you want an elaborate fwb kinda deal. To me, it really sounds like that is his game. I know its harsh to hear, but I hope I help at least give you some ideas 3
longjohn Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Sounds like he either left or was dumped by another lady and he's back to you. He isn't interested in a relationship otherwise he'd have shown it long ago. He's using you for sex and the minute he's got another prospect in the pipeline you won't hear from him again until that's over with.Why take yourself off the market like that. There's plenty of other guys out there actually interested in a relationship. 1
stillafool Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 I don't understand this "he used me for sex" thing when in fact you wanted to have sex with him as much as he wanted sex with you. So basically you both used each other for sex except you want a relationship and he's already taken. You know this now so why are you still agreeing to meet up with someone else's boyfriend? Please take responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming the man. 2
joseb Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Was it sign that he really liked me or just wanted to have sex with me again? Por que no los dos?!
Author lily999 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 Before I didn't know he had a girlfriend and he always denied it. After I went to his place I found it out and I dumped him already. This guy is a liar and cheater. He kept leading me on and lying.
Redhead14 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 (edited) I have had casual relationship with a guy for half a year. I think he just used me for sex and we weren't dating. We talked about entering into a relationship but it never happened. He blew me off twice for another woman( He never admitted he has another agirl but I found out he has one). I got pissed off and refused to see him again. He insisted on meeting me again and I met him eventually last weekend. we hadn't met for a month by that time. When he saw me, he held me so tight and kissed me passionately and kept saying sorry to me. He said he liked me a lot better because he had butterflies when he saw me Was it sign that he really liked me or just wanted to have sex with me again? Your opening post here is confusing. You allowed yourself to be in a confusing situation anyway. You weren't dating, it was casual for 6 months and you were having sex with him. You were an FWB relationship and in those situations, neither party owes the other anything, except respect and some time with each other and to use protection because they are likely having sex with other people too.. You don't go out with someone, casually and have sex with them for six months that then turn around and say that they used you for sex. You were having it too. And, guess what, people like FWB situations because they don't have to report to the other person about what's going on their lives, they can see other people, the can do whatever the hell they want. It's just sex PERIOD. Yeah, he lied, but technically it was none of your business. You shouldn't even be asking those kinds of questions or any questions except light conversational things just to make the time around the actual sex a little less -- boring. Was it sign that he really liked me or just wanted to have sex with me again? -- It's a sign that he liked you AND wanted to have sex with you. Most people don't bother having sex with someone they can't stand. It also doesn't mean they've decided to have a relationship with you either. He blew me off twice for another woman( He never admitted he has another agirl but I found out he has one). I got pissed off and refused to see him again. -- Yet, you just saw him again. All you are doing is showing him that you are confused about what you want, confused about how things work in the dating world and that he can actually manipulate you into having sex with him again. Edited July 21, 2016 by Redhead14 3
Zahara Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Before I didn't know he had a girlfriend and he always denied it. After I went to his place I found it out and I dumped him already. This guy is a liar and cheater. He kept leading me on and lying. The best line he could give you was that he knew he liked you a lot better was because he had butterflies? Full of s@@@. Likely has no prospects so he's tracing his steps back to you and you've made yourself available so he knows that no matter how badly he behaves, you'll tolerate. Why would you want to do this to yourself? 2
leogirl876 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Used you for sex and you fell for it. Listen to your gut and if you're not looking for a casual relationship, then don't have sex first then try to get a relationship. Get the relationship, then have sex. 2
joseb Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Your opening post here is confusing. You allowed yourself to be in a confusing situation anyway. You weren't dating, it was casual for 6 months and you were having sex with him. You were an FWB relationship and in those situations, neither party owes the other anything, except respect and some time with each other and to use protection because they are likely having sex with other people too.. You don't go out with someone, casually and have sex with them for six months that then turn around and say that they used you for sex. You were having it too. And, guess what, people like FWB situations because they don't have to report to the other person about what's going on their lives, they can see other people, the can do whatever the hell they want. It's just sex PERIOD. Yeah, he lied, but technically it was none of your business. You shouldn't even be asking those kinds of questions or any questions except light conversational things just to make the time around the actual sex a little less -- boring. Was it sign that he really liked me or just wanted to have sex with me again? -- It's a sign that he liked you AND wanted to have sex with you. Most people don't bother having sex with someone they can't stand. It also doesn't mean they've decided to have a relationship with you either. He blew me off twice for another woman( He never admitted he has another agirl but I found out he has one). I got pissed off and refused to see him again. -- Yet, you just saw him again. All you are doing is showing him that you are confused about what you want, confused about how things work in the dating world and that he can actually manipulate you into having sex with him again. Agree. It's getting tiring reading all the "used me for sex" posts from people here after they were just as happy to engage in it as well. 5
Redhead14 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Agree. It's getting tiring reading all the "used me for sex" posts from people here after they were just as happy to engage in it as well. Unfortunately, there are women who refuse to accept, or simply do not understand their role in contributing to the situations they find themselves in and shift the blame to the men and become bitter, distrustful, man-bashers. 2
Author lily999 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 Your opening post here is confusing. You allowed yourself to be in a confusing situation anyway. You weren't dating, it was casual for 6 months and you were having sex with him. You were an FWB relationship and in those situations, neither party owes the other anything, except respect and some time with each other and to use protection because they are likely having sex with other people too.. You don't go out with someone, casually and have sex with them for six months that then turn around and say that they used you for sex. You were having it too. And, guess what, people like FWB situations because they don't have to report to the other person about what's going on their lives, they can see other people, the can do whatever the hell they want. It's just sex PERIOD. Yeah, he lied, but technically it was none of your business. You shouldn't even be asking those kinds of questions or any questions except light conversational things just to make the time around the actual sex a little less -- boring. Was it sign that he really liked me or just wanted to have sex with me again? -- It's a sign that he liked you AND wanted to have sex with you. Most people don't bother having sex with someone they can't stand. It also doesn't mean they've decided to have a relationship with you either. He blew me off twice for another woman( He never admitted he has another agirl but I found out he has one). I got pissed off and refused to see him again. -- Yet, you just saw him again. All you are doing is showing him that you are confused about what you want, confused about how things work in the dating world and that he can actually manipulate you into having sex with him again. Yes I used him for sex too. But at least I was always honest to him. He is the liar and always tried to manipulate me. I just wanted some fun at the beginning and didn't have any feelings for him. Later I developed some feelings and wanted to cut things off because we were not on the same page as I wanted a relationship. Then he started to play his games with me and keep lying to me. I like him so I made things easy for him. He always told me how much he loved me, he wanted me to have his baby, etc... I know he was manipulating me again. I questioned if he had a girlfriend, and he always said he was single until the day I went to his place and found out girl's things. He kept lying to me saying that he had one girl but broke up with her already after he realized he liked me lots...Last weekend when I saw him I asked him about the girl, he said she is not his gf, just the girl he is seeing... Again, he lied to me. I don't mind FWB relationship, but at least he needs to be honest and has some respect.
Author lily999 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 The best line he could give you was that he knew he liked you a lot better was because he had butterflies? Full of s@@@. Likely has no prospects so he's tracing his steps back to you and you've made yourself available so he knows that no matter how badly he behaves, you'll tolerate. Why would you want to do this to yourself? Yes he did have no respect for me and I had no respect for him either. I blew him off too. I blew him first and then he started to revenge. He has someone he liked much better and I agree his butterflies thing is totally a bull****. At least he let that girl sleep at his place and spending more time with her. I am just his side woman when that girl isn't available. I told him off many times and even insulted him when he treated me bad, but he was the one keep coming back and begging me to forgive. We talked every day but only a few messages.
Redhead14 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) Yes I used him for sex too. But at least I was always honest to him. He is the liar and always tried to manipulate me. I just wanted some fun at the beginning and didn't have any feelings for him. Later I developed some feelings and wanted to cut things off because we were not on the same page as I wanted a relationship. Then he started to play his games with me and keep lying to me. I like him so I made things easy for him. He always told me how much he loved me, he wanted me to have his baby, etc... I know he was manipulating me again. I questioned if he had a girlfriend, and he always said he was single until the day I went to his place and found out girl's things. He kept lying to me saying that he had one girl but broke up with her already after he realized he liked me lots...Last weekend when I saw him I asked him about the girl, he said she is not his gf, just the girl he is seeing... Again, he lied to me. I don't mind FWB relationship, but at least he needs to be honest and has some respect. Ugh . . . c'mon now. Come back and read this thread a few years from now. If you want a man to respect you, you have to give him something to respect. And, he didn't have a woman that he respected enough to be his girlfriend, he just had another you or a few of them. Edited July 22, 2016 by Redhead14
Author lily999 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 Ugh . . . c'mon now. Come back and read this thread a few years from now. If you want a man to respect you, you have to give him something to respect. You are right... If he did not respect me he could find someone else to have that casual relationship with. He is cute and it shouldn't be hard for him to find girls. I asked him to **** off many times and wanted to end things always but he still saying bull**** like how much he loves me and wants to have a baby with me...
Author lily999 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 Sounds like he either left or was dumped by another lady and he's back to you. He isn't interested in a relationship otherwise he'd have shown it long ago. He's using you for sex and the minute he's got another prospect in the pipeline you won't hear from him again until that's over with.Why take yourself off the market like that. There's plenty of other guys out there actually interested in a relationship. He kept contacting me during this sex months, like non-stop. But I am sure he has some other girl he really likes
Redhead14 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 He kept contacting me during this sex months, like non-stop. But I am sure he has some other girl he really likes NO, he doesn't or he wouldn't be doing what he's doing! I asked him to **** off many times -- The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results . . . draw the line for yourself and block and delete. And, don't keep saying he used you or start bashing men. You own some of this too. Good luck with your dating future. 2
Author lily999 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Posted July 22, 2016 NO, he doesn't or he wouldn't be doing what he's doing! I asked him to **** off many times -- The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results . . . draw the line for yourself and block and delete. And, don't keep saying he used you or start bashing men. You own some of this too. Good luck with your dating future. Lol you don't think he has some woman he likes better? We had a serious talk last time, and I guess it is seriously done this time.
Redhead14 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Lol you don't think he has some woman he likes better? We had a serious talk last time, and I guess it is seriously done this time. Sure, he may like them better, but he doesn't consider them a "girlfriend" and, he sure as hell isn't treating them with respect ... by f ing around with other women he doesn't like as much. YOU GUESS it's seriously done? There shouldn't be any guessing . . . YOU should just be done. 3
stillafool Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Lol you don't think he has some woman he likes better? We had a serious talk last time, and I guess it is seriously done this time. For your sake, I hope so.
Redhead14 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 He kept contacting me during this sex months, like non-stop. But I am sure he has some other girl he really likes He kept contacting me during this sex months -- Freudian slip . . .
Author lily999 Posted July 23, 2016 Author Posted July 23, 2016 Sure, he may like them better, but he doesn't consider them a "girlfriend" and, he sure as hell isn't treating them with respect ... by f ing around with other women he doesn't like as much. YOU GUESS it's seriously done? There shouldn't be any guessing . . . YOU should just be done. I think there is someone he really likes. He blew me off twice for that girl I am sure. I never had the chance to go to his place until last month, then I found out there must be a girl living with him. He never admitted it, saying that he has a male roommate and "his roommate" never allowed female visitors. What a ****ing liar he is! Last weekend he told me that 22 years old girl is not really his girlfriend, but is a girl he is seeing and she stays overnight at his place" a few nights every week". He never asked me to stay overnight at his place. Every time I see him it must be after 11pm, even though I said I wanted to meet in the evening but he never made it, so I assume he is with that girl every night during that time lol. He never asked me out for a date even though I complained about it many times but he still didn't do it. I went to his apartment twice, but he asked me to go first, yes he didn't want people to see us in public. This ****ing liar had given me so many sweet talks and made me fall for it again and again. For the "sex month" thing, it was a typo and I was supposed to say "six months"
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