thecrucible Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 26 F Meeting men who don't want to get serious but aren't up front about it so you can part ways without drama. Instead they try a pseudo relationship and try to string you along. Men who message me on online dating sites "up for some fun?" when clearly my profile suggests I want something serious (I don't have any sexy pictures or anything either). When you meet an awesome guy and you would love to see him romantically because he ticks every box but it is virtually impossible for your brain to see him as more than a friend. I don't mind breaking the ice with guys but it's awkward when people my age sometimes aren't single and when I was younger the likelihood of someone being single was higher. So it can be really difficult not only to find someone who's actually single but to find a guy who you have something in common with a the same time. Trying to meet new guys when all your friends have partners so you can't find someone to drag along man-hunting with you. For some reason older men are often interested in me but I'd much rather date someone my own age.
GemmaUK Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 47. female. My biggest issue is men being way too full on always. Too much contact required, future talking, lock down stuff. If I could find a man I could just get to know a little bit, go on a few dates with over say 2 or 3 months that would be great. I dip my toe into and out of dating and just end up having the same scenario - date #1 or 2 and they want lock down. I don't even ,multi-date and they know that so why the rush??!! 1
Shining One Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 My biggest issue is men being way too full on always. Too much contact required, future talking, lock down stuff. If I could find a man I could just get to know a little bit, go on a few dates with over say 2 or 3 months that would be great. I dip my toe into and out of dating and just end up having the same scenario - date #1 or 2 and they want lock down. I don't even ,multi-date and they know that so why the rush??!!Do you require exclusivity before sex? If so, that would explain the rush.
GemmaUK Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 Do you require exclusivity before sex? If so, that would explain the rush. I've never ever had an exclusivity talk - at least never questioned any man on it. I'm open to saying I am not seeing anyone else though - always have been. From your response to mine it sounds like the ILY, let's move in together, I am looking at work in yoru area so I can move to be closer to you, marriage etc talks are normal around date '1/#2?? Seriously?? I run a mile!! Lol! That's all waaay too much for me that early on!! 2
compulsivedancer Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 (edited) Uncertainty. That need to hold back and not say exactly what I'm feeling. Having to figure out whether he means what he's saying. This creates a shyness in me that makes me feel less than confident. Female, 32, in a LTR. Edited August 4, 2016 by compulsivedancer
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 I lowered my standards recently and yet I didn't get a second date
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Best way to get a 2nd date is to make the first date fun. Most people go on first dates to get to know the other person, which leads to those awkward job interview type dates that no one really enjoys. Show a girl a good time and you have a much better chance at date 2. Ya I went for coffee for the first date, is going for coffee not a good idea for a first date?
normal person Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Ya I went for coffee for the first date, is going for coffee not a good idea for a first date? I'd say coffee is a bad first date idea. Coffee isn't "sexy." Same with lunch or anything like that. Women want to be desired; they want to dress up and look hot. They'll look out of place if they do that in a Starbucks, plus you'll seem kind of cheap. Just put in the effort, put on some decent clothes and take her to whatever fun/hip restaurant/bar in your city is marketed towards people your age. Have a good time and don't be stingy. Go in with an open mind, make a few a jokes, follow your natural curiosity about her. That's pretty much all you can do. That being said, if she really likes you, she won't care what you're doing, but it's important to make a good first impression.
Larryville Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Been seeing more of these first date ideas in threads and I’ve moved to the camp that coffee first dates are not cool. Boring… yes that person MUST BE a coffee snob for it to be worth it. I’ve thought about my first dates and it usually has to do with how much I want to see or are interested in the person I’m meeting. No one size fits all… these are what I remember... Evening drinks then dinner, outing (I’ve only done twice, my suggestion, two other times their suggestion AND they paid) Drinks, relaxed music venue An attraction (based on their interest or obvious common interest) Museum, (my work, which is an attraction) Show Theater (not movie) a play and/or outdoor performance Nice outdoor area, area lake, nice scenic park to walk Entertainment area where I live we have a beautiful plaza area, lots of stores, lounges, restaurants, scenic walking areas. Breakfast, brunch, late lunch Dog walk (I don’t have a dog but like walking) Drinks then played pool, bowling something similar Country, scenic drive (I have a nice convertible) have let a few drive, taught one how to drive a stick was a interesting and fun. Farmers market, early morning flea market (mostly for walking) Coffee ONLY if I’m just going thru motions low interest in meeting but just said what the heck, I’ll meet, I will add those only semi interested in seeing me, would suggest coffee dates/meets.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 6, 2016 Posted August 6, 2016 Alright, so no more coffee for a first date
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