kolleamm Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I met this woman on okcupid. We had three dates. 1st at a Starbucks, 2nd around the city and a movie, 3rd a restaurant. (We even used the word dates) Anyways the last date ended with her rejecting my kiss. She said she didn't want to get my hopes up about a relationship. Haven't talked to her in weeks. Can someone please explain why someone would go on 3 dates with someone if they are not interested. Thanks in advance.
mortensorchid Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Not enough information to go on. What were other communications between these dates? How long did you go before you contacted each other?
Author kolleamm Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 The dates were around the weekends, one date per week, 3 weeks. We texted each other back and forth daily during that time. She would send me pics of herself and good night messages etc... She would sometimes take longer to text me, 20 min to 4 hours. Not really sure why though if she wasn't interested.
JewelD Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 She may have been bored. She may have met someone else. She may already have an SO and decided to work things out with him. She was on the fence about you at first and after the 3rd date realized she didn't have romantic feelings for you. Probably something along those lines. 5
LoveIsMyReligion Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Nobody knows except her. Move on, she has.
leogirl876 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Next time, don't wait until the 3rd date to try to kiss her. Guy's that have done that to me, I've then put in the friend zone. If you treat her like a friend, she'll see you like a friend. If you treat her like a lover, she'll see you like a lover. I'd say to move on with this one, the attraction was lost.
phineas Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 I met this woman on okcupid. We had three dates. 1st at a Starbucks, 2nd around the city and a movie, 3rd a restaurant. (We even used the word dates) Anyways the last date ended with her rejecting my kiss. She said she didn't want to get my hopes up about a relationship. Haven't talked to her in weeks. Can someone please explain why someone would go on 3 dates with someone if they are not interested. Thanks in advance. You didn't escalate. At all. I always go for the kiss on the first date. most women kiss back to show interest because they can tell i'm not going to waste my time on a woman not interested in me. 1
Redhead14 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 I met this woman on okcupid. We had three dates. 1st at a Starbucks, 2nd around the city and a movie, 3rd a restaurant. (We even used the word dates) Anyways the last date ended with her rejecting my kiss. She said she didn't want to get my hopes up about a relationship. Haven't talked to her in weeks. Can someone please explain why someone would go on 3 dates with someone if they are not interested. Thanks in advance. Dating is a process of evaluation and a person will end that evaluation process when they have enough information/sense of whether it's working for them. She was interested enough to go on at least 2 dates, but by the third date, she just wasn't feeling it enough to keep going. It's not like she strung you a long for a long time. She may simply have just given it at a good chance. Beyond that, we don't really know what's in her head or how you came off to her, etc. She may have had at least a nice time with you on the first date, gave it a second try, wasn't quite sure and by the third date felt it just wasn't going to work for her. I'd say she was trying to at least be objective and willing to explore it a little more. Are you telling us that any time you went on a date, and there was just some doubt or apprehension but you did like them enough to have another date and see if that got better? She just happened to have gone one beyond. So what? Unless you think she was just doing it for free meals and you would have gotten that vibe, I think, just say, "hey, I had 3 nice evenings out with a nice person". 2
Author kolleamm Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 I guess your right, she just had some doubts. Well at least I learned going on dates with someone doesn't necessarily mean anything. Not to brag but I made her laugh a lot. Probably why I made it to the third date.
Redhead14 Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 I guess your right, she just had some doubts. Well at least I learned going on dates with someone doesn't necessarily mean anything. Not to brag but I made her laugh a lot. Probably why I made it to the third date. Well at least I learned going on dates with someone doesn't necessarily mean anything. -- Well, you can't get to know a person or decide if that person is someone you'd want to keep seeing if you didn't go on dates. But, no one is obligated to keep dating a person just because they went out on a few dates and they aren't obligated to end it after the first date if it don't go quite right for them. They sometimes just need a little more time. Nothing wrong with that. You may find yourself in that position too at some point. Sure, you did do somethings right apparently And, it's not that you did anything wrong either. It's too intangible to identify sometimes. If I were her though, I would have paid for the 3rd date knowing I didn't want to continue. I would pay for a second date if I'd decided I didn't want to see him anymore by then too. 2
Grapesofwrath Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 I agree that dating is a process of getting to know someone and seeing if feelings develop. Especially with OLD, it may take a while for the feelings to show. She gave it a shot. I think she did you a kindness by not stringing you along further and kissing you. Sounds like this was one of those times when there just wasn't really a spark. Keep looking. You'll find her.
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