nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Hi everyone! Hope everything is well with you. Please excuse my english as it's not my first language, I'll try to do my best to put things into perspective. So I just recently got dumped because of this stupid "confessions" game. We were at her apt, drinking vodka with one of her closest friends. Then all of a sudden they start playing this thing called "never never" (never have I ever I think it's called in the US) and she openly states that she's been in a threesome with a couple of guys and that she dated a guy who would only want to do her in the ass. I'm like ok whatever, I mean I've done some of that **** too. So it's my turn and I say that on Burning Man 2012 I was kindly invited to different sex tents over the weekend and that I probably kissed, made out or had sex with at least 9 different gals. We went to bed that night, had sex, everything was good. But in the morning her friend knocks on her door, and all of a sudden she's all cold and distant. I asked her what's going on, but she's all silent about it. I obviously left her house saying, "I guess you probably need your space". Later that night I receive a text from her stating that "Your comment last night was very out of place, I think it's the best for us to part ways". Of course I feel bad about all this. And I feel like a monster. I've respected her decision and we haven't talked for three weeks (she's probably over this already), but damn everything was going so well. And of course I'm hurting. I know there are things that I shouldn't have mentioned. But she also opened up and... well I was drunk too. What do you guys think? Thanks in advance.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Ahh yes, those games, especially whilst drunk are so very dangerous. It's a classic case of willing to dish it but not willing to take it. I'm sorry OP. She sounds very insecure. I don't have any words of wisdom in terms of how to get her back but I will caution you to NEVER play that game again with anyone you're dating unless you've revealed all to them already. 1
Zahara Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I don't think there is much you can do since she could not handle the truth. I think information like that should be best shared between partners first rather than throwing all that out in the open in some game. You know better next time. Are you seeking advice to reconcile? 1
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 Ahh yes, those games, especially whilst drunk are so very dangerous. It's a classic case of willing to dish it but not willing to take it. I'm sorry OP. She sounds very insecure. I don't have any words of wisdom in terms of how to get her back but I will caution you to NEVER play that game again with anyone you're dating unless you've revealed all to them already. Hi Michelle! Thanks a lot for your reply! Totally agree with you, and honestly, I didn't want to play it. Felt like I was 16 y/o all over again. They also replied to my first confession something like: "too normal, c'mon say something crazier". And well, I also ended up telling her that things we've done in the past are irrelevant for me in the present. You do things, you learn your lessons, you grow up and become a better person. Thanks again! 1
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 I don't think there is much you can do since she could not handle the truth. I think information like that should be best shared between partners first rather than throwing all that out in the open in some game. You know better next time. Are you seeking advice to reconcile? Hi Zahara! Thanks a lot for your reply! It'd be nice to have her back, but I really don't know what to do, or If I'm really responsible for this? I mean I don't care if she's done this or that, but looks like she's playing double standards here?
Art_Critic Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Well drunk of not the last thing I would've blurted out was sleeping with 9 women in a couple of days and at the burning man gathering as well. I think that was what got her, it was just too much raw honesty and you took her threesome and tripled it way past a normal fantasy. There is nothing wrong with what you did, she just wasn't able to handle it.. Chalk this one up to a learning experience that speaking about your past sexual exploits never ends well...
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 Well drunk of not the last thing I would've blurted out was sleeping with 9 women in a couple of days and at the burning man gathering as well. I think that was what got her, it was just too much raw honesty and you took her threesome and tripled it way past a normal fantasy. There is nothing wrong with what you did, she just wasn't able to handle it.. Chalk this one up to a learning experience that speaking about your past sexual exploits never ends well... Thanks a lot for the reply! Definitely agree. And lesson learned I guess!
bubbaganoosh Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Next time, excuse yourself and keep your personal life to yourself until your sure your girlfriend can handle it. Why she got pissed off is crazy. Her confession was nothing to brag about either. 2
Toodaloo Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Ahhh the Never never game... Always get into trouble with that one... Don't worry OP. If she can't differentiate between past and future there really is not point.
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 Next time, excuse yourself and keep your personal life to yourself until your sure your girlfriend can handle it. Why she got pissed off is crazy. Her confession was nothing to brag about either. Hi! Thanks a lot for your reply! I excused myself, told her was not proud of it. Better luck next time I guess. And yes, I really didn't need to know that about her either!
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 Ahhh the Never never game... Always get into trouble with that one... Don't worry OP. If she can't differentiate between past and future there really is not point. Thanks a lot for your reply! And yes, I mean we all make mistakes in the past. That's what makes us grow and become better human beings.
Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Oh LOL. Talk about double standards! So she feels okay okay divulging that sher has engaged in threesomes, more than once.. and yet no, you are not allowed to admit that you slept around one weekend; with 1 girl at a time may I add? What a loser. You a better off without her and her judgmental, disguisting attitude!
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 Oh LOL. Talk about double standards! So she feels okay okay divulging that sher has engaged in threesomes, more than once.. and yet no, you are not allowed to admit that you slept around one weekend; with 1 girl at a time may I add? What a loser. You a better off without her and her judgmental, disguisting attitude! Hi! Thanks a lot for your reply! Exactly! I get this double standards feeling as well. Dunno how many times she did that. TBH. And yes in between making out, kisses and actual sex it was always with one woman at a time. At a famous event she even said "Was interested in going".
Alamo657 Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I'm like ok whatever, I mean I've done some of that **** too. So it's my turn and I say that on Burning Man 2012 I was kindly invited to different sex tents over the weekend and that I probably kissed, made out or had sex with at least 9 different gals. I asked her what's going on, but she's all silent about it. I obviously left her house saying, "I guess you probably need your space". Later that night I receive a text from her stating that "Your comment last night was very out of place, I think it's the best for us to part ways". What do you guys think? She felt threatened by your sexual potential in a party environment, and preferred to find a less "dangerous" (in her mind) person to date. Or she lost the sexual powerplay between men/women since you totally outdid her generic threesome. Who knows ? She just couldn't handle it one way or another.
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 She felt threatened by your sexual potential in a party environment, and preferred to find a less "dangerous" (in her mind) person to date. Or she lost the sexual powerplay between men/women since you totally outdid her generic threesome. Who knows ? She just couldn't handle it one way or another. Hey there! Thanks! Interesting point of view. It was never my intention for this to be a powerplay, but maybe something triggered inside me when she talked about her thing. For me it was all irrelevant the morning after. Definitely not for her (or her friend, who BTW was praising Pansexuality the night before).
LostOnes05 Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Yea, she is definitely a hypocrite. One of those do as I say, not as I do types. It's ok for her to brag about sex with multiple men, multiple times but not you. Hard to deal with people like that because they will look for anything to be upset about...even if they just did it. Did you address what she said? Or did you just accept the breakup?
Author nfumbi Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 Yea, she is definitely a hypocrite. One of those do as I say, not as I do types. It's ok for her to brag about sex with multiple men, multiple times but not you. Hard to deal with people like that because they will look for anything to be upset about...even if they just did it. Did you address what she said? Or did you just accept the breakup? Hey! Thanks for the words! Yes, I addressed the issue the night after, when she sent that text. Basically I told her that I wasn't the only one who revealed things that night and of course not the one asking for "crazier stuff" (whatever that means). I also told her that I didn't care about the past since we've all done crazy things at some point in our lives. She was kind of indifferent and I had to accept the breakup and go NC. 1
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