Gloria25 Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 My recent post about premarital counseling got me thinking... Is it a turn off when you are dating a very practical person? I mean, with my current guy, when something comes up, I eventually lay the cards on the table. I say this is what's going on and... IMO, he's like "whatever" I don't know if it's the age difference and/or communication styles, but if something's up, I don't like passive/aggressive. I wanna bring it up, discuss, and resolve. Like, the other day I got so frustrated with mum and doctor, I laid it out for her. I told her that she could die if not following doctor, and while she may have health insurance and I no longer foot the bill, I'm still not running back/forth to emergency room and/or doctors when she doesn't wanna follow them... So, it was an ugly truth, but needed to be raised and addressed. So, is dating a practical person a buzzkill?
preraph Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Not for everyone. Just depends on the organizational makeup of the person. If they're disorganized, they'll see you as anal. But a person with common sense will appreciate another person with common sense. A friend of mine who is a little bit penny penching and loves to try to fix things without spending hardly any money was bragging about the guy she started dating because he cut out styrofoam and put it around his windows instead of caulking. She just thought that was great. I'm not sure that was practical. Seems like caulking would be easier and look better or using the tape they make for that, but she is practical and thought it was great that he found a home solution to his problem. 2
MissBee Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Maybe for some it is. Especially people who like to live outside of reality about things. The only person I was ever with who was like this was when I was an OW, and for obvious reasons, he preferred to focus on fantasies instead of real plans and reality. Otherwise, in a relationship I value practicality and being firmly planted on earth in terms of making plans for our future or even ordinary day to day plans. I couldn't be with or trust a man who was very impractical, shortsighted and who was blasé about things. It would irk and piss me off so much.
PegNosePete Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I am very practical. If I have a problem, I will fix it. If I say I will do something, I do it. If you tell me your problems, I will suggest solutions. I always viewed that as a positive and I can't possibly imagine how anyone would see it as a "buzzkill". But maybe that is just my practicality speaking 2
Emilia Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I am very practical. Literally as I am about to fix the soldering iron right next to me I don't know whether it's a buzzkill but I have a hard time with people who don't go along with it. Absolutely no need for another practical person, I'm happy to be the one that fixes stuff but please don't stand in my way
MrDuck Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I actually used to think so, big time! But now i know its absolutely not!! My approach to life is pretty nonconformist, free spirited, laid back. I've always found that same attitude pretty attractive in a girl. My sons mother was just that type, moreso than even me, we had some great times together and we had my son for that i'll always be grateful but as a couple we just didn't work, in our relationship I was having to be the practical one, sort out details, and it didn't make me happy. In the end made great friends but a terrible couple, so we ended it. Still it took me by surprise when i fell head over heels in love with my very practically minded, beautiful, pragmatic, logical, down-to-earth, black-and-white-thinking, straight shooting, wonderfully sarcastic girlfriend. I wouldn't of expected it but I find her personality and her outlook madly attractive!!! I used to think that being pragmatic made a person dispassionate, but that was narrow-minded of me and she shattered that illusion! We might come at life from completely different angles but we share all the same values and she's as passionate as anyone I've ever met. She complements me in all the ways I lack, I'm a better man in every way for her coming into my life. Right from the start she became that voice in my head that reminds when I'm doing something stupid. She honestly has a solution for everything ..and she's oh so annoyingly ALWAYS right! Like seriously I've learnt to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I've come to respect the same in others, i thought there was strength in that. But I love her layers, she's got this hilariously dry sense of humour and if you asked those we worked with they'd probably tell you she couldn't care less what people think of her, scared of nothing, a few of them would probably have her down as cocky. But then I get to see behind the front, she's got this huge heart, she's more than a little shy, and she cares more deeply than anyone I've ever met. And all that is like our little secret, this whole other side of her she saves for me, not the world at large. That girl single handedly changed my 'type'! I didn't have family, and I moved lots, and I guess you might have called me flaky, and I certainly went for flaky girls. But (aside from my son, who is my pride and joy) she is the most committed, solid person I've ever had in my life. And I didn't know how great that feels!! And I want to be the guy that she can depend on and trust the way I feel I can trust her!
mikeylo Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Its a buzzkill for those looking for a short term thrill relationship.For LTR, its important that atleast one of the partners should be practical and realistic , to keep things in perspective. Living in a fantasy world is leading to disaster. That is why most young relationships fail as they are based only on initial hormones. But, there are many people who dont grow mentally with age either. Then also there are people who are old souls in younger body.That can be a mismatch and leave the practical person unhappy. 1
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