Nismoknight Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Hello, I'm in search for some advice. I been seeing this girl for about 2 months. 1 week she is into me make me feels like she is really interested then the following week she doesn't return my text or calls. Makes excuse. Then the next week everything is fine. 2 Sunday's ago we we take our relationship to the next level and have sex. Everything is fine the following week and she keeps asking me when is the next time you coming over. We talk on the phone for several hours. Just this Saturday she isn't speaking to me. Now i fallin in love with this girl but the emotional roller coaster ride is causing Me to lose sleep and not eat. I haven't slept in the last 36 hour or eaten anything. When I text or call she say she is busy, sick or With her child. I don't know what to do. Is she bipolar or something ?
Zahara Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 I think you are taking yourself on an emotional rollercoaster ride. After dating for two months, upon conflict/drama, you haven't eaten or slept for 36 hours? Half of the time you've been with her has been dramatic and you're already in love? What's going to happen when you've invested 6 months or a year of your life in this? Relationships aren't supposed to cause you such stress and pain. Could it be that you are becoming overly dependent on her and she senses it? Maybe she's stepping back as she senses your neediness? 5
Author Nismoknight Posted July 19, 2016 Author Posted July 19, 2016 perhaps you are right. I'll won't text or call her and let things be. But at the same time I don't want to lose her.
Zahara Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 perhaps you are right. I'll won't text or call her and let things be. But at the same time I don't want to lose her. OP, two months in. Cool your jets. You hardly know this person so stop placing her on such a high pedestal. When you're jumping in so soon with all these intense expectations, you're setting yourself up for possible hurt. Get to know her. Don't make her your life, but have one outside of hers. Step back -- go out with your friends, make plans, enjoy your time apart, date others, etc. And please, eat something and get sleep. You need to nourish yourself. You can't be falling apart this way so soon into your time with this woman. 2
katiegrl Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) perhaps you are right. I'll won't text or call her and let things be. But at the same time I don't want to lose her. Newsflash -- Clingy, needy will actually cause the very thing you are afraid of -- losing her. Pull back, chill. Keep her wondering a bit. That is what will keep her, not the way you are behaving now. It's too much, no wonder she needs space. You sound intense. Let her breeeeethe. Chill. Edited July 19, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Author Nismoknight Posted July 19, 2016 Author Posted July 19, 2016 Thanks for the advice. It really helps and all that you said makes valid points. 1
SoThatHappened Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Some more advice: I'd honestly step waaaay back on a girl who is that up and down. If you have to ask whether or not a woman is bipolar, maybe she's not the best one for you. I learned the hard way about the push/pull, completely erratic behavior. My advice now to my naive self back then would have been, "Run." You're going to need some help on your end too if you're this attached, as in not eating for a day and a half, simply after her latest push/pull behavior. As katiegrl said, "Clingy, needy will actually cause the very thing you are afraid of -- losing her." Guaranteed. 2
biker23 Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Some more advice: I'd honestly step waaaay back on a girl who is that up and down. If you have to ask whether or not a woman is bipolar, maybe she's not the best one for you. I learned the hard way about the push/pull, completely erratic behavior. My advice now to my naive self back then would have been, "Run." You're going to need some help on your end too if you're this attached, as in not eating for a day and a half, simply after her latest push/pull behavior. As katiegrl said, "Clingy, needy will actually cause the very thing you are afraid of -- losing her." Guaranteed. I agree with this. She isn't in a relationship with you. I've had similar experiences and I will not let it occur again. Back off and let her come to you
basil67 Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Dating is all about getting to know each other with a view to seeing if you're compatible long term. What you're learning is that this girl has no concept of how to behave in a relationship. This early in, you should be strongly reconsidering the relationship. And no, it doesn't sound like she's bipolar.
longjohn Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Hello, I'm in search for some advice. I been seeing this girl for about 2 months. 1 week she is into me make me feels like she is really interested then the following week she doesn't return my text or calls. Makes excuse. Then the next week everything is fine. 2 Sunday's ago we we take our relationship to the next level and have sex. Everything is fine the following week and she keeps asking me when is the next time you coming over. We talk on the phone for several hours. Just this Saturday she isn't speaking to me. Now i fallin in love with this girl but the emotional roller coaster ride is causing Me to lose sleep and not eat. I haven't slept in the last 36 hour or eaten anything. When I text or call she say she is busy, sick or With her child. I don't know what to do. Is she bipolar or something ? I'd leave just for the fact she ignored you, I HATE being ignored and will ignore the ignorer! Maybe not all her dogs are barking like you suggest. I'd go with she's seeing other guys. When there's another guy you get ignored when it's dried up your fair game. You might quickly unfall in love with her if you randomly go over when she's ignoring you and find some other guy there. Either way you need to get over it and move along otherwise your going to get no sleep and end up very skinny.
leogirl876 Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I'd leave just for the fact she ignored you, I HATE being ignored and will ignore the ignorer! Maybe not all her dogs are barking like you suggest. I'd go with she's seeing other guys. When there's another guy you get ignored when it's dried up your fair game. You might quickly unfall in love with her if you randomly go over when she's ignoring you and find some other guy there. Either way you need to get over it and move along otherwise your going to get no sleep and end up very skinny. I'm with you on that. I hate it when I'm ignored too. This one guy I went out with a few times, he'd initiate a texting convo, and then would go cold, wouldn't answer a question of mine or something. It drove me nuts, then I pulled away and then he faded out. 1
Author Nismoknight Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 I'd leave just for the fact she ignored you, I HATE being ignored and will ignore the ignorer! Maybe not all her dogs are barking like you suggest. I'd go with she's seeing other guys. When there's another guy you get ignored when it's dried up your fair game. You might quickly unfall in love with her if you randomly go over when she's ignoring you and find some other guy there. Either way you need to get over it and move along otherwise your going to get no sleep and end up very skinny. Yes she is talking to another guy but she says he isn't even in the picture and that she likes me only. I catch her texting him several times when we hanging out. That night we had sex. Someone was texting her 2in the morning. I'm thinking its him. So confused what to do. I really like this girl.
SoThatHappened Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Yes she is talking to another guy but she says he isn't even in the picture and that she likes me only. I catch her texting him several times when we hanging out. That night we had sex. Someone was texting her 2in the morning. I'm thinking its him. So confused what to do. I really like this girl. Damn, I hate being right... I'm sorry man. The writing is on the wall, unfortunately. Take it as a gentleman, gracefully bow out, lick your wounds, and learn from this experience. 1
Zahara Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Yes she is talking to another guy but she says he isn't even in the picture and that she likes me only. I catch her texting him several times when we hanging out. That night we had sex. Someone was texting her 2in the morning. I'm thinking its him. So confused what to do. I really like this girl. But he is in the picture if she's talking and texting him. And she's probably seeing him as well and likely having sex. Seems like she is keeping her options open and it may be wise for you to move on.
Author Nismoknight Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 As much as it hurts you are right. I believe the weeks she isn't answering my calls or text is because she is texting and talking to him. We actually been talking for about 6 months but only been dating for 2 months. I've met her parents. Went to her daughter birthday party., seen many movies. And there is more. All 3 of us work for the same company. Not directly with each other but in the same building. Just different departments. So if this is the end. I may run into her from time to Time.
Zahara Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 As much as it hurts you are right. I believe the weeks she isn't answering my calls or text is because she is texting and talking to him. We actually been talking for about 6 months but only been dating for 2 months. I've met her parents. Went to her daughter birthday party., seen many movies. And there is more. All 3 of us work for the same company. Not directly with each other but in the same building. Just different departments. So if this is the end. I may run into her from time to Time. That's a little messy but just keep your relationship with her professional. It's going to be difficult but you'll get through it. 1
longjohn Posted July 21, 2016 Posted July 21, 2016 Break it off with her I mean she's obviously banging another guy. Try and keep work as work and your breakup out of where you do business. Actually try to never date from work just for this reason. You don't want people at your job knowing your personal business. Not saying people at work can't be friends and nice but you won't want everyone talking, making assumptions and generating gossip. Sorry man, maybe the next one won't be like this one.
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