showstopper166 Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Well my girlfriend of 1.3 years told me 2 days ago that she wanted a break. This was my first real relationship that i have ever had. I sensed weeks prior that something might be wrong as she wasn't seeming to be herself. Whenever I asked her what was wrong, and that she seemed to have changed, she ask me what i was talking about. Although I think we have both had thoughts of this, I would never have broken us up because she is such a huge part of my life, i put my life on hold just to be with her. Well we talked over the phone and she told me that she needed a break and some time to think, i was so blown away because i didn't know things were this bad. When i ask her questions about certain things and if we will get back together she says she doesn't know. This is a common answer on her part for most of my questions. I asked her why she hadn't told me earlier, so that we might hae worked something out, and all she tells me is she doesn't know. The next day i emailed her and talked to her a bunch of times, but then realized i just had to give her some time to think, as hard as it is to do. She wants to meet on thursday when she has time before work, she also wants me to pick her up. I asked why we couldn't see each other earlier, but she kept saying on thursday. I don't know what to do, it feels like something has been ripped out of me. I think that maybe our relationship has gotten too comfortable for her and that I have been taking things for granted. We had not been together intimately for about 4 months. I asked her if she had found someone else and she tells me no, which i believe because she works all the time, and the other times we are usually together. We have agreed not to see anyone until she has figured things out, but she doesn't know how long that will be. What has happened to our relationship, is there any hope for us. I madly want to get together again and work things out. We talked about getting married and the whole lot, but now i don't know what will happen...
Author showstopper166 Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 I must tell you that she says she still loves me, she just thinks things are different now, and things aren't as "fun" as they used to be, and yet this is the first i am hearing about it. what can i do
lvgrl Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Let her breathe, thats all you can do. You cant force someone into a relationship so I would just be understanding, yeah it might hurt to let her go for a "break". I just hope she doesnt loose touch of things during the break and want to stay single. I know from experience that being with someone for a while expecially in younger years you start to wonder what its like to be single again, and whats out there and thats when the break thing comes into play, and the reason shes wanting a break and not a breakup, is because she is wanting to see whats out there without loosing you completly just incase something doesnt work out for her in the "break" period. But you must also remember, nothing is the same the second time around, because questions come up, and its just a weird time, but it can be worked out.. So I wish you the best, and dont give up on it..
lvgrl Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 As far as things not being as fun, thats when you gotta talk to her, and ask her what is it that shes lacking from this that can be regained, find out what it is that she thought was "fun" thats not there anymore.. And if she cant think of anything or say what it is thats missing, it might be something else and thats her way of getting around it. Of course she says she loves you still, you are still apart of her life, just look at this break thing as her cry to get to back the guy she fell in love with..Have you looked at it that way? That maybe somewhere down the road, that you have changed? Maybe shes just scared to tell you that you are the one who has changed.. I dont know, I am just throwing random things out there that could be the case, but I cant tell you whats wrong with your relationship, only you and her can do that.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Break is usually a coward's way of trying out a break-up to see how it feels, I'm afraid. The best thing you can do is give her space. Lots of it. Way too much of it. Let her realise how lonely it's going to be. So go out, have fun, find other things to do. Let her miss you.
pioneer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 yep, break=break up, happened to me after 5 1/2 years
westernxer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by showstopper166 I must tell you that she says she still loves me, she just thinks things are different now, and things aren't as "fun" as they used to be... Whatever... And don't put your life on hold for anybody. She should enhance your life, not detract from it.
Author showstopper166 Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 Thanks for all the advice, and help LS. I am seeing her today and hope that we can try to come to an undersanding, but if not i will have to accept it and move on. As much as I want her in my life, I must accept if she doesn't want me. I don't think i could be her friend, even though i still love her so much, I think it would be too hard to continue to be friends, seeing as I gave her my life, and it seems like she took it from me... Well i will post again later on and tell you how it goes, but I am prepared for the worst sincerly, N
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by showstopper166 seeing as I gave her my life, and it seems like she took it from me... Don't be this negative when speaking to her - seems whiny and clingy and very unmanly. Instead, be strong and independent. Let her do the chasing from now on. Well i will post again later on and tell you how it goes, but I am prepared for the worst Good luck!
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