2 Dates with this guy and I think he's using me for sex? [update 2016-08-01]

[moonchild94]

I'd never date a guy like that, nope. I like to have a good time, I like to drink. I don't get drunk every single night, and I never have. Even when I was in my early 20s I had work and school and never would have accomplished much if I had partied every night all night.

I'd also not answer phone calls or texts from a guy in the middle of the night- not much point in that. I'd not be attracted to a guy who brought so much old baggage into our first or second date.

 

I can think of two guys I dated who showed up for a date completely drunk. The first one made for a hilarious story and I never saw him again. The second one was old enough to know better and is just a guy who wants to be 25 forever. Either way that crap is a deal breaker.

 

You're not toxic, you're just young, not very experienced, and you really really want a boyfriend. Just like 95% of all women on earth. It's true you were pushing too hard too fast for a relationship and that's not going to work out, with this guy or any guy. You just need to relax and get to know the guy, and let things develop. He shouldn't be saying he's in love with you after three dates and a few weeks of texting and snapchats. You should try not to be so caught up in where he's spending his time and who with. Make yourself less available and make the guy chase you. Guys don't like to be chased.

 

Yeah. Definitely. I have a feeling he knows it's over too, so I'm just going to leave it. Is it sad that he's so predictable that I know what he's going to do? Going to work on myself and attract guys that have sense in their life.

[moonchild94]

Yeah. Definitely. I have a feeling he knows it's over too, so I'm just going to leave it. Is it sad that he's so predictable that I know what he's going to do? Going to work on myself and attract guys that have sense in their life.

 

He just snapped me, called me and texted me. As well as tagged me in Facebook with stuff. Basically blew up my phone. Should I go to talk to him?

[BlueIris]

Say, "You're a great guy but we're just not a match," and then don't respond to him. Then go for a run without your phone.

[AMJ]

See, when you said he's so predictable, he's not going to text again....I was thinking, yes he is predictable, and yes he IS going to blow up your phone plenty of times. Because he doesn't think anything is wrong. He is a guy, and he is not sitting around obsessing about every single communication like you are. When you pull back and stop contacting them, they pursue- it's just the way it works.

[Chuff]

Just. Chill.

 

Seriously.

 

You're making this too complicated.

 

If you want to spend time with him, then do so.

 

If he wants to have sex with you and you're not ready, then don't.

 

Your "skeleton in the closet" is that you're a virgin at 22????

 

I waited until I was 30. Why? Because I didn't want to with the guys I was dating at the time. So I said no. Easy peasy. I wasn't ready and I knew it.

 

It really is that simple.

 

If you want to spend time with him, then do so. If not, then don't.

 

Same with sex.

 

The fact that you're coming here asking for 9 pages of advice after less than a dozen dates is very telling about you communication, or lack thereof. Otherwise, you'd be discussing these things with him.

 

Enjoy it while it lasts. When it stops being fun, it's time to move on. For both parties.

 

also, listen to Katiegrl.