avoidthecliche Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Hi, i'm gonna try to explain this the best I can. I'd really appreciate your help. I've done something awful and I feel like a total immature idiot! A couple nights ago I scratched up my boyfriends "Taking Lives" dvd that he got for free. I scratched it up because it had Naked Angelina Jolie on it and I got jealous. He found out the night of our 2 year anniversary and got super angry at me and told me to buy him a new one. His mom and her boyfriend now knows I did this as well, which makes me feel really dumb and makes me not want to show my face over there ever again. I was just gonna buy him a new "Taking Lives" dvd and apologise and say I got out of hand with my feelings. Gosh, what else can I do? I'm seriously not a psycho...and i'm scared that everyone over there will think i'm one. What else can I do? are these feelings normal? Thanks in advance! -Tara
moimeme Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 No. You're out of control. Destroying someone else's property out of jealousy is not healthy behaviour.
lindya Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 In my unprofessional opinion, scratching the dvd in an fit of jealous rage wasn't normal. Have you ever done anything like this before?
She_Devil Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Get over it! (As suggested in the post before me counseling is a fab option) Learn to love yourself and then you won't worry about what others do. Remember you are only on control of your actions and yours alone. The more you show your ass the more you push others away.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 How does it manifest? Is your SO faithful or do you have reason to be jealous? Pixie is right about the therapy/counselling.
lindya Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo How does it manifest? The OP's thread under "General Relationships" reveals all. A naked Angeline Jolie and a badly scratched DVD.
Author avoidthecliche Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 i'm freakin 16 for christ sakes im not gonna go to jail over a scratched dvd. Im looking for help not more bad comments. I believe God will help me through this.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by avoidthecliche i'm freakin 16 for christ sakes im not gonna go to jail over a scratched dvd. You will end in trouble of one sort or another if you carry on in this line. It won't stop with scratched DVDs I promise.
She_Devil Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by avoidthecliche i'm freakin 16 for christ sakes im not gonna go to jail over a scratched dvd. Im looking for help not more bad comments. I believe God will help me through this. Remember you came for advice, that is what you are getting. No one is coming down on you but it seems as if you have anger issues. You need to talk to someone. I doubt God will help you through this..your going to have to put up a bit of effort. Come to terms with your anger...harness it in a different way. When you get pissed write it down in a book....or draw it out. You need an outlet for this if dvd's are your bag then I suggest your sctratch your own.
Author avoidthecliche Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 I came here for advice and what it seems like people are giving me is bitching about how i scratched the dvd. I said I wasn't gonna do that stupid **** anymore. Now damn it I do have anger issues because no one seems to listen to what i'm saying. And I do believe that God will stick with me no matter what. So I made a mistake... I feel stupid.... End of story. I really do appreciate any help... and how is this not normal? Ofcourse its freakin normal. Out of control yet normal. But its in the past. I said I would buy him a new dvd.
lindya Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Managing anger and emotions starts with being able to recognise them before they fire up to the extent yours did. It's hard to believe that a picture of Angeline Jolie would, in itself, have been enough to spur you onto scratching the dvd. Something else must be up. Any idea what that something might be?
Author avoidthecliche Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 I have no idea. I am clueless as to why I acted that way... she gets naked in that movie and her body looks so great and I have low self esteem issues so everytime my bf watches that movie I feel like he is looking at her...wanting her. I know that he'll never get her but it still hurts because I want him to want me and look at me like im a goddess like her. So i got angry and scratched it so he couldn't watch it anymore. I denied it at first but then I admitted to it, said I was sorry, and i'm gonna buy him a new "taking lives" movie... if it means that much to him.
westernxer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 You're only 16, so we'll give you a little margin for error. The cut-off point is if you kill him.
westernxer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 You need to learn to channel your frustration into something productive. If you're insecure, go to the gym or something. A lame Angelina Jolie movie is nothing. I'd be more pissed if you destroyed Gia. She was really hot in that one.
Author avoidthecliche Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 That Gia is a great movie. I wouldn't destroy that I would've just taken it for myself lol. Taking Lives is a good movie too besides the fact that she shows off her fancy lol which doesn't bother me unless Ryan is watching it because I have an out of control jealousy problem and no I wouldnt mind him looking at me that way...
Author avoidthecliche Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 Maybe if he looked at me more that way and gave me more comments and would take me out to dinner every once in a while besides me paying for everything and maybe if he wouldn't watch that stuff when im around then just maybe i wouldnt feel the rage i felt.
westernxer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 If you feel deprived, then tell him. Or just say no when he wants to make out. The two of you are still pretty young... no need to get so serious yet. High school... I was a dumb jock at 16. Wish I still was (it kept me out of trouble).
westernxer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by avoidthecliche Taking Lives is a good movie too besides the fact that she shows off her fancy lol which doesn't bother me unless Ryan is watching it because I have an out of control jealousy problem and no I wouldnt mind him looking at me that way... I'll look at you that way. Here's my address...
Author avoidthecliche Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 he's 19 he lives with his mom he has no car or insurance or a job. he likes to control me. we've been going out for 2 years. when he does something disappointing to me he doesnt care how i feel but when i do one little thing like scratching a dvd that he got for free ( and i buy him tons of **** anyways ) then he flips out and tells me to buy him a new one. OK Ryan, i'll buy your precious taking lives dvd so you can watch precious angeline jolie show her stuff over and over. I was half tempted to just say WHY DONT YOU ****ING GET A JOB AND BUY ****ING CABLE SO I CANT SCRATCH IT DUMB ASS AND THEN YOU CAN WATCH EVEN MORE MOVIES WITH NAKED CHICKS IN THEM ALL DAY. Gosh if he cares that much about TV. I like it too but I dont sit there and watch a movie with a stripping guy when he's sitting right there. UM DUH its called disrespect.
Opium Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 So let me get this straight, you're jealous over ANGELINA JOLI ! She a freakin movie star what are the chances of him getting with her. Kids I tell you , just try next time to be a little less aggressive and scratch a DVD movie that really sucks, not with ANGELINA JOLI, that's just wrong. Look, it's obvious your getting jealous for a reason find out what he's doing to make you feel less of yourself. Men can sometimes react instead of thinking if what they say or do is going to hurt thier girl. But you do have some anger problems and like everyone told you, it will only get worse.
westernxer Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by avoidthecliche he's 19 he lives with his mom he has no car or insurance or a job. he likes to control me. we've been going out for 2 years. when he does something disappointing to me he doesnt care how i feel but when i do one little thing like scratching a dvd that he got for free ( and i buy him tons of **** anyways ) Sounds like he's got it made... I guess the key is finding an insecure girl. I should do that, but I care too much.
moimeme Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I have an out of control jealousy problem You want to know if your behaviour is normal? It is not. You yourself are saying you are out of control. how is this not normal? Ofcourse its freakin normal. Out of control yet normal Well, 'normal' for people who end up in jail eventually, yes. so everytime my bf watches that movie I feel like he is looking at her...wanting her This is your problem. Your insecurity. Get counselling to overcome it or you'll turn into one of the harpies posting whining that their husbands watch porn once in a while. he's 19 he lives with his mom he has no car or insurance or a job. he likes to control me. we've been going out for 2 years. when he does something disappointing to me he doesnt care how i feel but when i do one little thing like scratching a dvd that he got for free ( and i buy him tons of **** anyways ) then he flips out and tells me to buy him a new one. OK Ryan, i'll buy your precious taking lives dvd so you can watch precious angeline jolie show her stuff over and over. I was half tempted to just say WHY DONT YOU ****ING GET A JOB AND BUY ****ING CABLE SO I CANT SCRATCH IT DUMB ASS AND THEN YOU CAN WATCH EVEN MORE MOVIES WITH NAKED CHICKS IN THEM ALL DAY. Gosh if he cares that much about TV. I like it too but I dont sit there and watch a movie with a stripping guy when he's sitting right there. UM DUH its called disrespect. And here you are out of control again. This sort of anger is toxic to you and will eventually get you in BIG trouble, particularly if you're only 16. Really. Get help.
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