katelynxo Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) Let's start from the very beginning, shall we? Last year, July 3, 2015. A couple of friends and I went to a rope-swing two towns over. I later learned this rope-swing was widely known as The Trussels. All of my friends are hanging & having a good time. Later, 3 other guys show up. One of them distinctly catches my eye. He's carrying a handle of vodka, (my kinda guy!) He introduces himself. I'll refer to him as J. J looks at me and tells me I have beautiful eyes, and I get these butterflies... He offers me the handle and of course I accept. After all of us are swimming and jumping, we all walk towards the bridge everyone jumps off. Me being afraid, was too scared. J sat with me and said he would hold my hand and we could jump together. Nope, didn't do it. I apologize for being afraid, and he says it's okay, at least you're cute. Later that day when I left, I could not stop thinking about him. Crazy right? He's just some random flirt I met. But he stayed on my mind. Me being the psycho I am, I found his instagram. Followed him, got that follow back.. Fast forward a few days and he DM's me. He asks if I'm the girl from the Trussels. I say yeah, we talk a little, he gives me his number. Texted him hey, no answer.. Whatever. EVentually I forgot about him. Now let's fast forward to September. He posts a "Like for a rate" on Instagram. I like it. He comments "9 your cute" I say thanks, he tells me to text him Now this is where it gets good.....for me lol We start texting and snapchatting, lotsa flirting. Eventually we hangout. He invites me to a buddy of his' bonfire. I go, get **** faced, and we stay up all night talking and hooking up. Trashy? I don't care. He, from the moment meeting him, has always seemed special. That night, I talked and shared more with him than I think anyone in my life. He made me feel something I had never felt before. The next morning he took me out for breakfast, and we spent the day together. I remember walking and all of a sudden he just stopped and stared at me. I asked, "What?" and he just smiled and started kissing me. Oh how I loved his kisses. Nothing, as cliche as this sounds, tastes better than someones smiling lips. Anyways. We snapchatted after that, not really texting though. He's a bad texter, I dont care. We hangout a lot in the upcoming months. I meet his friends, he meets mine. Each hangout usually results in hooking up. One night I asked him, "What is this?" we weren't dating, but I loved him. As cheesy as it sounds, I swear I did. ****, I still do. He didn't give me an answer. He told me he was thinking about it a lot lately, but he wasn't sure and he'd get back to me..... lmfao. Night before my birthday, he gets back to me. I'm at a party with him and we hadn't seen each other in about a month. He tells me he has and has always had feelings for me, but it's complicated. (we live in different towns, and transportation was a bit of an issue) He explains how he is getting a car, so the future looked promising. I spent the night with me, kissed me exactly at 12 for my birthday. Played my favorite song.. Stayed up all night talking and laughing. I remember distinctly, about 6am, just staring at him watching Bob's Burgers and thinking to myself how happy I was to be there next to him. Two weeks later, I invite him to one of my friends. But this time it's different. He doesn't kiss me infront of his friends and he's just....off. Once his friends leave and it's just us, then he kisses me. This is the last time I ever saw him A week after my friends, I see in a snapchat story, J in the background feeling up some girl. I'm heartbroken. I delete him off snapchat (wow, I'm so petty). Then I learn that he has a girlfriend. Anyways, in conclusion, I know this seems like petty highschool love, and J probably only used me to hookup, but I have never felt so strongly for someone before. The way he made me feel...I can't describe it. He made me believe I would be apart of his futures. He told me all his dreams and goals, and told me how much I meant to him. I can't move on, trust me Ive tried. I look for J in everyone, constantly comparing him to them. My heart hurts all the time. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 3 months. It breaks my heart that he could just wake up one morning and decide he is never talking to me again. That I meant so ****ing little to him. I can;t wrap my head around it. I used to believe everything happened for a reason.. but I can't find a reason for this. Please tell me why I met him, why I fell so hard, why he led me on. I have learned nothing from this experience, except that I gave my heart to someone who didn't give me theirs in return. All the time it hurts. I want nothing more than to hear from him. I think the most pathetic thing is, if him and his girlfriend break up, and he comes running back to me, I would hold my arms wide open for him. Edited July 19, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for language ~ V
LostOnes05 Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 So, basically you want to be hurt and used again?! He is a manipulator and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker. You fed his ego and were the easy target, so what did he do?...take the free hookups without the relationship aspect. Forget him. People like that will make you feel like you're the King/Queen of England just to use you. In the end you just feel like a beggar. Don't fall for these insta-charmers and snapcheaters, otherwise you'll be here every week with the same story. If you feel enamored with a guy and he doesn't want the same thing, fall back so you aren't investing feelings reserved for someone who does want you completely.
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