joemarriage Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 I've been single now for almost three months. Just got out of 4.5 year relationship. I decided it was finally time to go out. Went to see my buddies band play at a local restaurant. I sat down at the bands table and there was this attractive girl right across from me. We started small talk, then one of my friends told me he was on a date with her. So I got up to move. She grabbed my arm and told me to stay and that she had just met him too and they weren't on a date. We tried to talk while the music was blaring. She asked me to dance, I don't dance but went for it. She then asked me if she could take me to dinner sometime. Of course I said yes. We sat and talked went outside for fresh air and talked more. I walked her to her car asked her to brunch the next morning and had a good time, even if we were both hung over. lol Ok well we made plans to hang out this week, then late that night she text me and apologized that she has to leave town cause he father passed by asked if it was ok if she called me while she was gone. I find her attractive and we click well we both have a bad sense of humor. The catch, isn't there always one, she has the same name as my ex Gf and her bday is 10 days apart and are the same age. Kind of tripped me out. What do you think?
PogoStick Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I think you have problems if you met a great girl but you're hung up on sharing your ex's name. Other people are going to say you're not over your ex, blah blah. But they are nicer than me. I'd rather just slap some sense into you. GO GET THE CUTE GIRL YOU TWIT! 2
bummer Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Yeah, way to steal that guy's date. Guess your game is still super strong. Don't trip over yourself as she drags you into her arms! 1
CryForNoOne Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 The catch, isn't there always one, she has the same name as my ex Gf and her bday is 10 days apart and are the same age. Kind of tripped me out. What do you think? I met a girl last night I really dig but here's the catch. She has two arms, two legs, and one head just like my last girlfriend. What should I do??? Totally meaningless dude! Just go for it!!! 1
CryForNoOne Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 Yeah, way to steal that guy's date. Guess your game is still super strong. Don't trip over yourself as she drags you into her arms! Yeah. I bet that's the last time he invites him out...
Author joemarriage Posted July 20, 2016 Author Posted July 20, 2016 Got it. She had to leave town for her dads service but I did take her to brunch before she left. Had to leave the state to take care of her dads stuff so not sure when she will be back. She was not on a date with my buddy. He was trying to hook up. He Tries way to hard. Anyways thanks for advice.
PogoStick Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 I had 2 girlfriends with the exact same birthday. 1 in 365 chance of that. Was it a sign? maybe...they both sucked! I don't put much weight on the other guy thing. The girl has a right to choose whoever she wants. No guy owns her. Sure, if she just ditched a date that's a bad sign, but I'm not jumping to that conclusion.
Author joemarriage Posted July 21, 2016 Author Posted July 21, 2016 I am totally sure they were not on a date. Was just one of those things where you meet someone that you instantly click with. Not really worried about the name. It just cracked me up. I guess dating just worries me. I went from a 15 year relationship which included a 10 year marriage to a few hook ups then a 4.5 year relationship. Not sure why the dating scene worries me but it does.
Versacehottie Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Wait, I'm I the only one who finds it extremely suspect that: **she is worrying about her next bf and dating when her FATHER has just died!!! *not to mention she is out, like her dad's death meant nothing *that your "friend" someone you should trust or be able to claims they were on a date and she claims they are not. Needless to say, they were there together and if she had any inkling that he liked her and that you two are friends, she is using very poor, tactless judgement, plus layer in her dad's death and all I see is a train wreck of a person. what am I missing here?
scooby-philly Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I'd agree with the last poster...after thinking about it....there is something rotten in the state of Denmark......potentially. I'm not going to assume who anyone should or will react to a loved one's passing - especially a close relative like a parent. But - even if she's telling the truth and even if she thinks she ready - keep in the back of your mind....she may be looking for a distraction - so don't allow yourself to get too attached until it's clear she's over it or if you're okay with it being whatever it will be. 1
PogoStick Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Wait, I'm I the only one who finds it extremely suspect that: **she is worrying about her next bf and dating when her FATHER has just died!!! *not to mention she is out, like her dad's death meant nothing what am I missing here? Pretty sure I banged my girlfriend the night of my dad's funeral. Am I a bad guy now too? WTF would my dad care? He's DEAD. You really think it's strange to seek companionship after someone dies? Nah, I think you're suspect.
Versacehottie Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 Pretty sure I banged my girlfriend the night of my dad's funeral. Am I a bad guy now too? WTF would my dad care? He's DEAD. You really think it's strange to seek companionship after someone dies? Nah, I think you're suspect. no need for the insult. And your situation is different as you were already TOGETHER with your girlfriend. It IS weird to look for a new bf OR two the day or two after your dad dies. Also your speaking from your point of view as a guy, who seek comfort in the way you did very typically. I'm speaking from the point of view as a woman and it's not normal--well, except among women with issues. Most importantly, it's vastly different than being together with someone and having sex that night and searching for a new boyfriend. Oh well, agree to disagree if this further explanation doesn't do it for you.
HappyButBroken Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 (edited) Would personally feel pretty uncomfortable to continue the conversation with that woman knowing she's the date of a bud. She told you she wasn't on a date with your friend but he claims otherwise? So either your bud was lying or she was lying... Interesting opening scene. Anyhow, the fact this woman has the same name as your ex is not a 'catch', rather a silly coincidence that's of no importance. You make it sound like 3 months is a long period of being single, which is totally not. I'm single for 2 and a half years and am finally being genuinely happy again being alone. 3 months is not nearly enough to completely get over a break up. At least not a break up that was heartbreaking for you. And when you're confused and 'in shock' of learning your date has the same name as your ex, that confirms you're simply not over your ex yet. Take some time off. Edited August 15, 2016 by HappyButBroken
Tribble Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 Also your speaking from your point of view as a guy, who seek comfort in the way you did very typically. I'm speaking from the point of view as a woman and it's not normal--well, except among women with issues. Most importantly, it's vastly different than being together with someone and having sex that night and searching for a new boyfriend. Oh well, agree to disagree if this further explanation doesn't do it for you. Not saying you're wrong but everyone deals with grief differently and we don't know her side of this at all. We have no details about how she was there at all. Sounds like her family is far away (as she has to travel to sort things out). Maybe she needed a night out to try and forget about how crap life can be for a couple of hours. A distraction. We can't really judge her for that. I also don't see where she was searching for a bf. If they clicked like the OP states, it could just be a case of less than ideal timing. She went out, not necessarily searching for anyone, but found someone who she really gets on with and would potentially like to pursue and things calm down. Life doesn't always happen in the perfect order. In terms of being on a date with his friend, I don't think we have enough info again. It could be his friend was trying to hit it off with this lady and said they were on a date as a joke and/ or to put OP off. I would hope that's the case because I don't know anyone who would behave as badly as this girl if they were on a date. Shouldn't be too difficult for OP to figure that one out. As a note of caution though OP, your catch, isn't a catch. But it is a fairly big red flag you aren't over your ex I'm afraid.
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