superobert Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 I have a friend who recently broke up with a guy after dating for 4 months. She's 19, and already had sex with 15+ guys (including the boyfriend) She went to one college in the fall, then another in the spring where she met the guy. They were immediately drawn to each other...even though they had sex on the first night, which was a first for both of them. Me and her ex have (secretly) talked twice since the breakup. He said he even had doubts about her at the start of knowing her, such as her immaturity and # of guys she flocked to, but stayed complacent because she was enamored with him, and they always got along exceptionally well So after 6 weeks, when she inquiries about him "becoming the boyfriend", he's hesitant to say yes because he's not a fan of relationships and also because there were clearly some red flags about her.....but he complied anyways, he regrets now upon realizing it The break-up wasn't at all ugly. The guy is 21 and pretty well off in life. I believe what contributed to his mode of thinking was a hard time growing up, with both friendships and female acquaintances, and also battles with mild depression and self-esteem, with other factors. In two weeks since the break-up, (which was truly initiated by family's false assumptions of the guy) she has since shown reluctance to try to find complacency with another boy near her hometown, one who is her age this time, and they already knew each other during high school. Would you believe this has to relate to: a) trying to have the new guy capitalize off what the old guy didn't do b) since she needs acceptance with other guys and her own family, will relentlessly try to find a perfect match to cope with her feelings for the near future? c) anything different? I know this new guy won't last anyways, but I don't know what to make of this. I'm worried it may just start a downhill path from here, I'm trying to see why she's doing what she's doing...... She really doesn't know what college has in store for her, since she also hasn't had a "true" freshman year, with focusing on transferring and spending so much of her time with her ex.... Also with her general immaturity, reliance on her family, and not showing any changes since her relationship, I'd say she's still the same person...so will she go back to her ways of having sex with many guys to gain acceptance?
LD1990 Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Why did you say she was with your "friend?" It's pretty obvious the "friend" is really you, even more obvious for anyone who saw that you already posted about this girl and said you were her boyfriend. Analyzing this girl's actions is a waste of time. She's your ex. You only dated her for 4 months. Move on with your life. No one here can read her mind and tell you why she's with this new guy, and understanding her better isn't going to help you get on with your life.
DevotedBaker54 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 Your friend seems to be struggling with something in her personal life and is seeking instant gratification in her dating life. Maybe as her friend you can ask her if you can help her with anything or ask if she has considered seeking counseling? Being that sexually active with so many people is kinda dangerous and if you're really concerned for her as a friend, I would just be honest with her and ask her what is going on I'm sure she really needs someone to trust right now.
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