mazza32cott Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Thanks N No problem about not revealing your name. I am in Perth Maz
Author beginnerinlove1 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Posted July 13, 2005 oh bad me. I went out for coffee with a girlfriend tonight and drove past his house again. Her CAR IS THERE again. Like every night. Why is she there? I know I'm torturing myself by doing this but it's tearing me apart wondering what the two of them are doing all the time. He told me he was never attracted to her when they were together even, and that she was only a rebound. Now they spend like every night together. I know, this is stalking behaviour but he lives so close & it's so tempting plus I get encouraged so easily. I must stop doing this. Not only am I hindering the healing process... I am starting to scare myself. Aghhh... I hate them.
sarah12 Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 i'm unable to PM however would love to hear more about your stories / experiences. Hope this works: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t28893/ The hardest part is knowing that it's not like the guy doesn't like you because you haven't given them a reason to not like you. They are just very bad decision makers and need someone to make that decision for them. In this case, their ex still has some kind of emotional control over the guy and he doesn't know how to let go of it. As much as there probably is some bad in the relationship (otherwise he wouldn't have broken up with her in the 1st place), she provides him with just the right amount of care that will keep him around. Deep down, he knows that there must be someone better suited for him out there, but he's scared to drop what he has to find out. The ex is like a security blanket because he knows that no matter what, this girl will NEVER leave him because she can't do any better herself. These guys need security because they are scared when it comes to their emotions and feelings -- scared of showing them to anyone else and letting themselves be vulnerable to the possibility of getting hurt. We all get hurt and we're all scared of getting hurt, but while we depend on ourselves and our friends to keep us up, they need the something more intimate to keep them safe. In my case, I was too scared to completely let my guard down and tell him exactly how I felt. I felt like I'd scare him off if I did and I was scared myself of getting hurt if I opened up and just came out with it all. I have HUGE regrets about it and if I could go back in time, I'd pour my heart out to him with it all so that at least he would know. Get yourself off your beds and get started on the things you did before you met him. Go to the gym, go outside, go to the beach - you both live in australia you lucky ducks! (I'm going over to that end of the earth for VACATION damnit and you get to have the ocean right there!)
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