Alwaysthinkofme Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) I've been dating this guy for a few weeks and we have seen each other during the weekends going out. There are a few things that I am unsure about and can't seem to grasp about him as this is a first.. He gets easily upset if I don't text him throughout the day and enjoys the goopy clingy, romance type of connection Snapchat/texts ect. Asks me to text him when I wake up, go to bed or more often. When I do this however, he delays texting back. Everything seemed to be going up till I found out his best friend was a girl, who he planned a trip with prior to meeting me for next month to explore a City. They will be in the same hotel room but, sleeping in separate beds apparently. He had mentioned having many female friends, but when I informed him about me having male friends he seemed upset asking me "Why only guy friends?" Last week he texted that he wanted to delete his dating accounts and mentioned it would be nice if I would do the same. (I searched and he deleted it sure enough..) Fast forward to this week and he is displaying more jealousy with a guy I dated prior to him. I texted him after telling this guy who called today that there was another and it was exclusive. The thing that confuses me is..what is the difference between being exclusive, not being able to talk to any guys and not being Girlfriend or Boyfriend. He seems like a nice guy and comes off overly sweet, answering date questions, being understanding of certain things. What should I do, I'd like to keep seeing him but, it sounds strange. I'd also like to mention that his last relationship ended half a year ago and his ex also cheated on him. Reason I say this is he hounds me with sooo many questions regarding everything. (Almost as if he doesn't believe a word I've said to him) Save Edited July 19, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs ~T
TunaCat Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Nothing about this guy is sounding all that good. Run, run RUN! 1
basil67 Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 It's only been a few weeks and you're already seeing red flags. Cut and run!
longjohn Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 That guy is a moron and a control freak already. Think you just found out why he's single! Leave him plenty men out there that don't need 27-7 reassuring. Plus he's sharing a hotel room with a female "friend" I think not! 1
leogirl876 Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 He's sounds like a controlling, jealous, psycho!!! Tell him it's not working out and stick to it and don't take anymore of his calls. Better yet, block him from your phone. 1
joseb Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 He is very clingy for sure. Which I find very annoying too. But he is hardly a psycho. Many women would love this "goopy clingy, romance type of connection". I'd be concerned about the hotel room incident, but OP doesn't seem all that bothered. I think OP you are not that into him, and clingy doesn't suit you, so probably a good time to move on. 1
Author Alwaysthinkofme Posted July 19, 2016 Author Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) I agree that this clingy behavior is a big turn off and doesn't seem very suiting.. I've raised my concerns about him staying with this "friend" at a hotel to which, he replied "You should trust me, I would update you with pics, videos and everything. I don't know why this is an issue, she was able to afford the trip prior to meeting me you. She and I knew each other since we were kids." It was as if he didn't really hear my concerns.. Anyways, I greatly appreciate posts to this crap. I'm close to cutting all ties at this point, its just extra drama/baggage! Edited July 19, 2016 by Alwaysthinkofme
joseb Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 I agree that this clingy behavior is a big turn off and doesn't seem very suiting.. I've raised my concerns about him staying with this "friend" at a hotel to which, he replied "You should trust me, I would update you with pics, videos and everything. I don't know why this is an issue, she was able to afford the trip prior to meeting me you. She and I knew each other since we were kids." It was as if he didn't really hear my concerns.. Anyways, I greatly appreciate posts to this crap. I'm close to cutting all ties at this point, its just extra drama/baggage! Yip, it's just not worth forcing these things when you are not a good match. See, the woman on this thread would probaly be delighted with your guy: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/588301-am-i-being-too-needy-unappreciative 3
BaileyB Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Nothing about this guy is sounding good. He seems very controlling and it will only get worse. Run, don't walk, away from this guy...
Ami1uwant Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 I am one when believes opposite sex peop,e can be friends and I would defend him doing this already planned trip with his best friend. At the same time, he shouldnt have an sdue with you hanging out with male friends. With his best friend were they ever a relationship in the past? If not then he has jealousy of exes. If this person was an ex then he is a hypocrit. 2
Author Alwaysthinkofme Posted July 19, 2016 Author Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) I plan to ask him if they were tomorrow, given the fact that I'm tired of texting at this point and I want to see this from a wide view. Since he feels the need to throw around us being exclusive in dating, I'm pretty curious about that too.. Edited July 19, 2016 by Alwaysthinkofme
Author Alwaysthinkofme Posted July 19, 2016 Author Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) In addition to what I asked yesterday, I'm still left feeling very used and utterly confused.. After a week of dating this guy he invited me to a free Sun concert he won, booked a nice hotel given he lives an hour away. That night after getting back from our date one thing led to another.. Then mentions later that night not wanting to go to the concert due to time issues and wanting to cuddle. That morning (When his Mother called, he had told her the plans for going to the concert were still on. He lives separately from her and is 30.) When I asked him why he chose to say different to her his response was "I wasn't going to tell her I was with girl!" The rest of the morning we spent Pokemon Go hunting till he cut our date short at around 3/4pm to drop me off, so he could get sleep and wake for work the next day. Does it sound like this guy is a straight up player? We held hands, continued to ask each other questions, holds the door, pays for dates, answers concerns and claims he is seeking something serious, but it feels otherwise different. Help! Edited July 19, 2016 by Alwaysthinkofme
Vado Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 In addition to what I asked yesterday, I'm still left feeling very used and utterly confused.. After a week of dating this guy he invited me to a free Sun concert he won, booked a nice hotel given he lives an hour away. That night after getting back from our date one thing led to another.. Then mentions later that night not wanting to go to the concert due to time issues and wanting to cuddle. That morning (When his Mother called, he had told her the plans for going to the concert were still on. He lives separately from her and is 30.) When I asked him why he chose to say different to her his response was "I wasn't going to tell her I was with girl!" The rest of the morning we spent Pokemon Go hunting till he cut our date short at around 3/4pm to drop me off, so he could get sleep and wake for work the next day. Does it sound like this guy is a straight up player? We held hands, continued to ask each other questions, holds the door, pays for dates, answers concerns and claims he is seeking something serious, but it feels otherwise different. Help! It's not strange not to tell your mum when your dating, especially in the early stages, I wouldn't because if I would tell my mother, 2 days later it's in every newspaper (she can't keep a secret). You can only tell after a second or third date...(if he's really intereseted, not your mother)
morrowrd Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Why is a 30 year old lying to his mom about being out with a girl? Seems a tad bit immature to me.... 3
leogirl876 Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 I would say, if your gut is telling you something is off, then listen to it!!! It's taken me years of getting burned over & over of not listening to it because I saw what I wanted or it looked good on the surface.
RecentChange Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Why is a 30 year old lying to his mom about being out with a girl? Seems a tad bit immature to me.... I wouldn't say its immature.... I mean, seriously, even at 30 would you say: Oh hey mom, what am I up to? Oh I am in the next town over in a hotel room shagging a guy I met recently. His name? Oh you don't know him, eh, I don't think you will be meeting him any time soon.... Or is it different because he is a guy? 2
preraph Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 I don't think it's weird at all that he has boundaries with his mother. I don't know anyone who shares their day to day personal dating lives with their mothers. Mothers make too much of everything and get too wound up. If you share casual date info with them and tell them about some tiff or something, then they never like the person again.
OnlyHonesty Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 What have your previous relationships been like?
Bantosm Posted July 19, 2016 Posted July 19, 2016 Sure, some guys are only looking for sex. Unfortunately women think all men are only looking for sex. 1
longjohn Posted July 20, 2016 Posted July 20, 2016 In addition to what I asked yesterday, I'm still left feeling very used and utterly confused.. After a week of dating this guy he invited me to a free Sun concert he won, booked a nice hotel given he lives an hour away. That night after getting back from our date one thing led to another.. Then mentions later that night not wanting to go to the concert due to time issues and wanting to cuddle. That morning (When his Mother called, he had told her the plans for going to the concert were still on. He lives separately from her and is 30.) When I asked him why he chose to say different to her his response was "I wasn't going to tell her I was with girl!" The rest of the morning we spent Pokemon Go hunting till he cut our date short at around 3/4pm to drop me off, so he could get sleep and wake for work the next day. Does it sound like this guy is a straight up player? We held hands, continued to ask each other questions, holds the door, pays for dates, answers concerns and claims he is seeking something serious, but it feels otherwise different. Help! Ok so to break it down he booked a hotel so you could hookup.. Why is his mother calling? Have you even been to his place, sure he hasn't got a wife, gf or someone else there? Actually are you sure he isn't living with his mother and she's calling to see why he wasn't home the night before Or worse sure it was his "mother" calling? Yes he sounds immature. Who goes on a date and spends part of the time playing on their phone if they are allegedly interested. To me at least that's a major turn off. I think your instincts are spot on something is "different". It's probably the wife, gf, mother whatever it is he's hiding from you. I'd bail out if I were you and find a guy that isn't wasting time playing Pokemon Go.
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